sorry i haven't updated for like...who-knows-how-long! i have a summer day camp thingy and ... yea...well, i hope you enjoy. and sorry if they're OOC...GRR! i had to rewrite this over and over again and ended up with really little! well, i hope you enjoy this...if you don't know me...the ending chapter means major writer's block for me...(GR)
Grr. Great chapter, tere never is a perfect day for BB, is there? Things just seemed to keep going wrong. sigh Oh well. Maybe there is still time for that perfect day. Maybe. Just maybe. Keep writing and please update soon.
I really like this fic, and I want to know what happens next.
Rin: sorry...everything just goes wrong...doesn't it? well...i hope you like this one...and btw, i don't like brainstorming cuz it's working my nonexsistant brain! xD
pureangel86 : Just don't let Beastboy do anything rash, please.
Rin: nah, nah, nah! BEast Boy won't...
scathac's warrior: Finally. Damn wimp couldn't say three little words. A shame it took Raven so long to figure out that he was romancing her.
Well, I guess it is a big confession. Poor Beast Boy. He must feel really stupid.
N.C. PsyChick: Raven, no! TELL HIM WOMAN BEFORE YOU LOSE HIM FOREVER! Oh, you are evil, Rin, you are VERY evil. Update soon please, or I'm callin the fanfiction cops! (just kidding...or am I?)
Rin: y'think i'm evil? why, THANK YOU! ... LOL..xD...well, sry for that...fanfic cops? o0o NO!
kmutt: Omg no don't end it! do you have too!poor beast boy, what will he think after that? awsome job, i love this story! im sad its ending. will you make a sequel? that would be cool. sorry you got grounded good luck with the next chap :)
Rin: well, i just thought of a sequel...but i'm not so sure if i'm going to put it up...if y'wanna know more...just IM me
sapphire warrior: verry good story and you have managed to keep them in characterwell as much as possable for this type of stroy
anyways good job and keep it up
here have a cookie
Rin: o0o yeaie! cookie! thank you
cd lover: If you want to live, YOU WILL UPDATE THE FREAKIN STORY!
HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO BB? HOW?
BB must have felt like crap when Rae ran off, I bet he seriously felt like jumpin offa T-Tower!
DON DO IT BB! IT AINT WORTH IT!
Oh, And please excuse my extreme craziness as I just died my hair and I kinda go temporarily insane every time I do that...Okay then, Well get em togedda and soon kay?Good.
Now Update or I'll do something REALLY nasty! And trust me, I already got something planned...
Rin: ... i don't know how to answer this one but here's my usual reply. "yea, good luck trying!" (LOL) thanks for updating and thank you for not throwing flaiming axes at me...
Teleportal: That ending wasn't expected at all. I really like the suspense. and how will poor Beast Boy react? I LUV THIS STORY! TTFN, Tata for now!
Rin: so you won't kill me (gets up from my homemade fortress) phew...well, thank you!
Black Metalmark: Awe he confessed. But I thought they were in the air so how did she get to her room in a rush? But anyways great chapter and it had a uh happy yet sad end. I hope the next (last possibly like you said) chapter gets happier but considering we're talking about Raven I seriously doubt it. Keep up the good work!
Rin: o0o. they were back in the TT living room...did i not make it clear enough? oops...sorry
darkpj: please just 3 more chapters she tells him that she loves him 2
the rest of the titans come home and destroy beastboys life by saying he won the bett thinking raven couldnt hear but she did.
she runs away and beastboy finds her in the park were they whent rollerskating and tells her the real reason for the bet and shes no longer mad at him and they finaly truly kiss. is that good or not. dont know
Rin: sorry, but this is THE absolute chappie for this fic...
disappearer/Syani: Ooh, all the pretty dramatics, lovely... 10/10!
Rin: thank you!
RustyofT05: YAY its updated :D:D tanks 4 that ure story is the bomb so update soon ples! no pressure:D Rusty xD
Rin: thankie thankie you!
fire storm : a masterpiece, but wouldn't it be better if BB did something with the mirror so raven could use her feelings?
Rin: no, he can't do anything with the mirror...
Coolcatjas: I bet bb is pretty sad and confused now. sigh Raven is one person who just can't say her feelings out loud, she's too scared. I just hope bb isn't beating himself up right now...
Rin: i tried to update soon...but, well...i think he's beatin' himself up...not that bad...but beatin' himself up
Yayfulness: I'M THE 300th PERSON TO REVIEW! OMG! I LUV THIS StORY! SO AWESOME!
Rin: yea! thanks
awesome chappie! 0.0 i can't believe he actually told her! yay for bb! lol. update or the gnomes will play loud obnoxious polka music in your ears for days on end! X3
Rin: gr...stupid gnomes (tries to tune it to a rock station) gr...(polka music plays louder) AHH! I AM TRYING TO FOCUS! (lol, Aurora, LOL)
okay, i'm too lazy to answer the rest...so all questions just go and AIM me, k?
Beast Boy just sat there the next day. He told her, he told her and now she's never going to talk to him ever again. She ran away from him – not walked but RAN. He lay down on the couch covering his eyes. 'I feel so pathetic,' he thought. She ran from him, it's so very obvious that Raven doesn't feel the same way for him. He closed his eyes then heard someone walk in. 'Raven,' he thought instinctively and got up. Of course it was Raven; she's the only one in this tower.
Raven walked towards the cabinet and took out tea leaves. Beast Boy opened his mouth and closed it again, his lips went dry. "Raven," he started then the coffee table was reduced to splinters of wood. Raven gasped softly and left quickly. Beast Boy frowned. "She hates me," he said out loud.
Raven frowned; her hand shook violently while she tried to drink. She thought Herbal Tea would help, but she was wrong. Her cup fell and broke. She kneeled down and tried to clean it. She threw paper towels on the puddle and cleaned it up slowly. Her heart felt like it was drowning in it. She squeezed her eyes shut. She breathed in deeply and let it out trying not to sob. "Beast Boy," she gasped. "I'm sorry."
What good was it saying it to herself? She needs to say it to him, but she can never speak. The Titans were coming back tonight, what can she do? She needs to tell him. 'I want to say I love him…' she knew it deep inside her so why wasn't she able to say it aloud? She squeezed her eyes shut. 'Just meditate on this,' she confirmed slowly. She meditated, but she found that it was hard…to concentrate on meditating. She opened her eyes and looked around her. Some things were melted already…
"Okay, maybe that wasn't a good idea," she said out loud. She sighed deeply and let her head droop. Her eyes closed thinking of how she reacted to Beast Boy at first. She smashed the coffee table! She buried her face in her hands. "Just…say it." She said. She faced herself in the mirror. "The three words, 'I…l-love…y…" The mirror shattered.
"It is hopeless," she whispered. Her heart was pounding and her face was flushed, she didn't even mean it that time! If these three words are so difficult to say now, how on earth will she say it to Beast Boy?
"Today is the last day," she said. "I have to – I have to say something to him! I have to say something, something so that he'd know – that he'd know how I feel." Sending him to her mirror is out of the question; it took a long meditation to get into the mirror, so getting someone else in – like that first time – required inside help. Raven didn't want to risk that again.
She frowned, lost. Her heart ached terribly and she as positive Beast Boy's was the same – no empathy was needed to tell that. She felt lost and Raven hated feeling lost.
Beast Boy still sat on the couch, cowering from the splinters of wood. 'That could've been me,' he thought with fear banging loudly in his heart. 'She must seriously hate me or something.' He wished it was "or something" but he thought (can't put knew) it was "seriously hate me".
He felt know hunger for food, he just wanted Raven. After everything they've been through together. Okay, so it was only two weeks, but it seems awfully long for a two weeks. And besides, their chemistry was cooking up! This was just a horrible disaster that Beast Boy wished it was a dream.
Couple of time he told himself it was nothing more than a dream, and then squished his eyes shut and opened them again hoping he'd see his room and everything was all right. "All right?" he scoffed. "HOW CAN ANYTHING BE ALRIGHT RIGHT NOW?" he threw his voice up to the ceiling and fell down on the couch. His eyes were angry first, and then softened as he covered his face. He felt as if needles were poking at his throat. He tried swallowing the lump, but it only became bigger.
He let out a whimper, kind of like the ones you hear from dogs. Out of his eyes came a tear. Why won't Raven love him back?
What to do, what to do? Raven paced around her room with that question worrying her heart. What should she do? Her mind was troubled. Normally, she would meditate on this – quite literally – but today, meditating brought destruction, not harmony. She hated her mind being troubled and she couldn't do anything about it.
She bit her lips. What to do, what to do? Now she hated being born in Azarath. Her emotions always overpowering her; it wasn't Timid who was in charge of this it was because of that stupid, purple-cloaked wimp who was suppose to be her "love life"! (Name: Affection; thank you Regrem Erutaerc) Raven sighed loudly. Of all her emotions, she knew Affection was the "youngest" in other words, it took more time for her to show it. (Like Timid, too) She frowned at this.
She sighed deeply. 'Think, Raven, think; there has to be a way that this won't turn out horribly wrong.' She closed her eyes. 'Just try to say those three words.' It had never occurred to her, but she has never ever said those three words – not even when Malchior seduced her. (For all you Malchior haters, sorry for bringing him up) Those three words, to her, are called the Forbidden Words. She tried mouthing the words (like that'll do it) but she heard her bookshelf rattle and fall.
"Even mouthing the words has great power," she said sarcastically. She can't meditate, it's too disastrous. She glanced around her room, which was enough proof. Raven leaned back on her bed and faced upwards. Her eyes gazed up to the ceiling while she tried to collect herself. She's trying to focus powers together to keep it in hand. She closed her eyes, "Azarath Metrion Zinthos," she whispered trying to meditate. A lamplight nears her exploded and shattered into pieces; she sighed. "This is hopeless," she confirmed.
"This is hopeless!" Beast Boy whispered sadly. What did he do wrong? Did he say it too soon? No – he said it too late. He frowned. No wait; it's that word, the "love" word. That's why Raven hates him. 'Ironic isn't it?' he thought. 'That word brought the exact opposite feeling to her.'
Didn't he do everything there was to do? He "wooed" her and he even kissed her – twice, even! Well, excluding the first one which was a total accident, but still a kiss is a kiss. It's too late to back out of this now; he has already given his heart away. And what does Raven do to it? She shatters it and shoves it back to him. Of all people, why did he have to fall in love with Raven? Why not go back to Terra? Even if she's dead, he knew he'd bring her back, so why won't he fall for Terra? After all, he did do that for a while…oh yea, she betrayed him and after her betrayal, nothing was ever the same again. He just realized: he had always been in love with Raven all that time. But when Raven didn't respond to most of his tries, he tried to replace her with Terra.
"Enough about her!" Beast Boy growled. He didn't feel like talking about Terra – or even thinking of her. (And still her name was mentioned over three times.) He told Raven how he felt, and all he wants is Raven to feel the same for him. What will she ever?
Raven glanced at the clock. It read 4:00 PM; Raven looked away from the clock. The Titans were to come back at 9:30. Just five hours and thirty minuets, is that enough time? Raven closed her eyes. She needs Affection to come out. She can't say anything without having something blow up. And she can't say "I love you," without running out of the room and going half way around the world to say it. Too drastic, she knows, but it's true. Never in her life has she felt so helpless, stupid, and pathetic. All this made her feel angry and even more hopeless.
She hated feeling helpless, but this can't be helped. She took in a breath. "What do I do?" she gasped. She felt herself fiddling with her cloak. She stopped and dropped her cloak. "Suck it up!" she cried. She had often heard people say it, but she never said it herself…well, to herself at least.
She has to find a way. Sign language – no, Beast Boy probably wouldn't understand. A foreign language or in her mother tongue; no good, Beast Boy, yet again, wouldn't understand. Of all her years, she has never felt so desperate in her life. The longer she left her feelings untouched, the harder it would be for her to confess.
"Just spit it out," she demanded. She had no problem speaking her mind most of the time…until these three cursed words came up. Raven cringed at the thought of those words. She wanted to express those words…she glanced at her room. Everything was close to being destroyed completely: the side effect of love for her. 'Note to self: place spells on everything in my room.' She thought. 'Protection spells to the max.'
She sighed loudly. She never thought this would occur to her at all. "How do I say I love you?" she cried. The moment she finished, she heard something crash from behind. "Without horrible side effects," she'll have to either become white-robe within five hours (or less) or not say it at all. The light bulb in her mind seems to have popped. That's it! She won't say "I love you" at all!
Beast Boy felt sulky and depressed. The scene replayed in his mind. He told Raven he loves her and she ran from him like he was a diseased animal. If she backed away slowly, but freaked out, it would've been better. But, no, she was running for her life! Beast Boy struck his head with his palm in frustration.
"I've worked up so hard. For what? For a girl to run away from me like I'm some kind of diseased animal," he cried. "Not only will I not be able to face Raven again, I'm going to have to do a whole bunch of chores!" The chores didn't matter, but that was just one more thing to add to his heavy burden. "They have no idea how hard it is to have a girl like that throw your own heart back at you!"
The telephone rang: Beast Boy jumped up in surprise. He quickly answered it. Sucking up all his sadness, he answered cheerfully, "Hello, Titans residence." 'Man I sound like a geek!' he thought.
"BB?" it was the voice of Cyborg. "So, did you tell her?" Beast Boy frowned. What can he say? He did tell her, after all. And the last time he remembered, they didn't say anything about her having to say it back, but still it hurts.
"Y-yea," he answered.
"Don't sound so confident," Robin said on another line. Beast Boy sighed. This was a double torture.
"I did," he protested. Robin and Cyborg gave an unbelieving mumble. Beast Boy frowned. "I did, okay? I did tell her!" With that said, he slammed the phone down. He hated himself for having to make a stupid bet like that.
The phone rang again and Beast Boy picked it up. "Got disconnected," he lied lamely. They seemed to have bought it because there was no further discussion about that.
"Well, our flight was delayed. We said we'd be back by 9:30, but we're going to be half an hour late, is that okay?" said Robin. Beast Boy glanced at the clock. 6:50. He smiled. So there was still a bit of hope.
"It's perfectly fine with me," said Beast Boy. The door swished open, and Beast Boy turned around. He quickly put the phone down. Raven stood there and she walked towards the counter.
'What am I doing?' she asked. 'Why won't I say anything?' she poured out the tea robotically and started to walk. 'I have to say something!' she turned around and opened her mouth, "Sorry." She said quickly and walked off.
Beast Boy slumped down. Sorry, she said sorry. Sorry what? Sorry I ran away or sorry I can't be with you? He didn't know what to think, but he took the worse of it. "Sorry I can't be with you." He sighed. He knew it; it was all too good to be true. What a dream he was thinking of. Raven falling in love with him. Wow that seemed like such a stupid fantasy.
He didn't know what it was: tears of anger or tears of pain, it didn't matter, it was coming out anyway.
Raven frowned when she walked into the room. Angrily, she let the cup down on the table and placed her hand up facing the wall. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos," she whispered. A wild burst of black flew from her hand and hit the wall. She sighed regrettably looking at the huge dent in the wall. "I'll fix it someday," she sat down on the floor.
What on earth did she just say to him? "Sorry" said after someone confesses that that they're in love with you usually indicated: I'm not interested. She sighs and placed head on her palms. That was – by far – the dumbest thing she has ever done.
'Think, Raven, think,' she thought. 'I have to say something.' She glanced at the clock: 7:15. They're going to be back at 9:30 (Raven didn't get the memo) and she has about two hours or so left. She has to do something at least.
She grabbed her tea and drank it quickly. Tea usually helps her think sometimes. She felt the hot liquid slide down her throat as she finished the last of it. She sighed after she was done and let the hot sensation linger in her mouth. Her hand was sweaty from holding the hot cup, kind of like how it felt when Beast Boy kissed her.
Raven flushed thinking of it. She closed her eyes, though, reminiscing about how it felt. It was surprising, true, but it was also gentle…and loving. Her face lit up in red while she tried to sort her mind out. Her hand slowly moved to her mouth as if she felt the kiss.
She has to say something now, she really has to. If she let all this coop up inside of her, her emotions will find a way out somehow. She frowned. That's the last thing she wants to happen: her emotions running around free. Her emotions kept the deepest of her secret. If her emotions ran around…Raven shuddered at the thought of what might happen. She glanced at the clock again: 7:30…wow, fifteen minuets day-dreaming…
Beast Boy shoved his fork angrily into the tofu. He didn't know what he was doing – he wasn't hungry, but he's just wanted to dismember something. He found the perfect time and now…and now, well, the whole plan was down the toilet. It wasn't even CLOSE to step one…it was more like negative…negative three or four…either one.
A piece of tofu splattered onto his face. Beast Boy wiped it off and continued his dismemberment of the tofu. Half of the tofu flew out and stuck to the wall. Beast Boy made a face. Oh well, when the Titans come back, then it'll matter.
A few minuets later, he noticed that his tofu was more like tofu powder now. Sighing, he got up and threw it into the trash can. Now what's the next thing for him to dismember? He looked around hoping to see something.
The door opened and Raven stood there seeing Beast Boy crouching at the refrigerator. Raven swallowed the lump in her throat. "Anything to eat?" she asked. Beast Boy shook his head. Raven frowned. "We'll wait till they come back. I don't think they'll eat the plane food."
There they sat quietly in the living room. Beast Boy's heart filled with joy and anticipation while Raven's was filled with nervousness and tension. When will the silence end?
"I…" "Hey…" they both said at the same time. "You go first," they said again. Raven looks down and allowed Beast Boy to talk.
"Hey, look, I know what I said earlier…might've freaked you out." Beast Boy started.
"Might've? It did," she said. Beast Boy coughed.
"Okay, so it did totally freak you out. But, I just wanted you to know that's really how I feel about you," he said honestly. Raven's eyes closed. 'Yes, I know that.' She thought. 'But, I need you to know I honestly, truly feel about you too.' "I'm sorry about that, but if you don't…feel the same way about me, we can always just be friends."
Raven's heart broke. "No, wait, Beast Boy." She interjected. She looked at him sadly and nervously. "No, I…I just don't know what to say."
"I think I know what you're going to say," Beast Boy replied bitterly. Raven closed her eyes tightly and opened them again.
"I don't," she swallowed.
"You don't feel the same way about me, I know." Beast Boy finished wrongly.
"Listen to me," she said loudly. "Beast Boy, you're not listening to me. I – I really…" she sighed.
"You'd really prefer to just be friends." He finished again. Raven glared at him and covered his mouth with her hands.
"Let me finish," she said sternly. She removed her hand and Beast Boy looked at her quizzically.
"Beast Boy, I don't know what to say, but maybe I was – I was afraid earlier. I was afraid to say…how I really felt." Raven said softly. Beast Boy strained his ears listening. Does his ear deceive him? If it did, how cruel it is.
Beast Boy waited for her to finish. She breathed in deeply and exhaled as if she was meditating. Raven felt her blood rush to her face. Her palms felt sweaty. 'So this is how love feels like,' she thought. Her hands vibrated as she tried to speak. "I – I just…I r-really…" she stammered. Now she's stammering. How stupid will she sound? She thought Beast Boy would give her a strange stare, but he was looking at her seriously and hopefully. "Beast Boy, I really, really care for you." There, she said it – well, not in the exact "I love you," words, but close enough. "And I'm not lying. Beast Boy, I d-don't want to be 'just friends'…anymore." She added quickly.
Beast Boy felt his heart suddenly lift. Yet again, he felt as if he were to jump off the Titan's Tower, he'd be flying. (Without morphing into a flying creature,) Beast Boy suddenly smiled felling feverishly. He moved forwards. Raven tensed a bit.
Now this was sudden: instead of Beast Boy kissing Raven, she was the first to make the move. Her lips contacted his before he noticed. Her cool, hot touch felt sensational against his skin. He kissed her back (no, duh) and wrapped one arm around her waist and the other behind her neck.
This was a new feeling Raven never felt before. She felt…strangely giddy and wonderful. She was never giddy. A soft light glowed, but they didn't notice. Raven pushed away gently, her blue-purple eyes staring into Beast Boy's own green ones.
"So, does that mean you'll go out with me?" he said.
"Maybe," she replied slyly.
Beast Boy smiled, "So do you think I'm funny, now?"
"Oh, shut up." She whispered kissing him gently on the lips. Beast Boy made the kiss a bit deeper. In their whirl of love, they did not notice the Titans returning. (AN: they came back earlier then they said they would to surprise the two.)
The door slid open and they found the two kissing. Starfire let out a squeal of delight and Robin and Cyborg let out a wolf whistle. The two pulled apart. "I guess this is where I say, 'you owe me'," Starfire said holding out her hands at Cyborg. He had promised her twenty dollars if Beast Boy and Raven got together.
"You were betting on our love life?" Raven growled.
"They did not believe me, so…" Starfire started and stopped. "I will be unpacking in my room, now…" Raven pushed away gently from Beast Boy, but he kept his arms around her waist. She leaned against him slightly,
"Well, we'll be doing Beast Boy's chores for a while," Cyborg grumbled. Raven glared.
"They thought I couldn't do it," Beast Boy laughed nervously. Raven frowned. The laughing halted and they started to back away from the couple.
"The shortest relationship ever," Robin said.
"No, the shortest-lived Titans," she glared at Robin and Cyborg. Beast Boy sighed in relief. "You know what they say, you always hurt the ones you love." Beast Boy gaped at Raven. "Now," she turned to the others, her palm dancing with black fires. "I still have to thank you three for prying into my love life."
"Rae," Cyborg said backing away. "Don't do this," he placed his hands up as a shield.
"Don't think of it as a punishment," Raven smiled and gave a Beast Boy a quick smile. "I still love you."
AHH! the ending chappie! I AM SO GLAD! I THANK ANYBODY WHO REVEIWED IT! thanks for your support! and thanks you for those people who read it, even though you didn't update, it's all good...THANKS YAS! i might have a sequel...if you want to know about the sequel that may come out, like i said, try AIMing me, k -k? love y'all!
- Rin author of 'How Do I Say I Love You?'