City on the Edge of Destruction

To celebrate the return of the greatest Sci-fi show on Earth! Here's the results of my twisted imagination, too much heavy rock and far too many hours reading Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Of course I'll also throw in the good Doctor, the last episode of Buffy, then the end of Angel and several surprises along the way…

My apologies to anyone else who is as much of a fan of Douglas Adams as myself but sometimes the only way to describe the Doctor is to revert to the "hitchhiker's" style, if I do think of it as a homage to the great DNA.

Wish me luck (and for the eventual return of my sanity)

"Doctor Who" is the property of the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC)
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer" is the property of 20th century fox/Mutant Enemy inc.
I own nether of the concepts or ideas used in them.

Authors note
This repost is because I missed an important part out by accident, no prizes for guessing what.

Chapter One
The Doctor is in

'So what do we do now Buffy?' The young girl asked her.

For the longest moment Buffy thought about it. Live a normal life? Have a family? She was about to open her mouth when someone came around the bus. 'I'm thinking about a long vacation, how about you?' The short woman was Buffy's height and build and carried an identical red and silver scythe.

'The First? I thought you would have scampered when I crushed your army!' Buffy asked the identical person. She was quite unprepared for her own fist to knock her flat.

'I'm not the First you moron. Anyway it was Spike who sacrificed himself to close the Hellmouth.'

Buffy flipped to her feet as her sister tried to stare down her copy. 'Who are you then?' Dawn asked.

'She's your sister.' Another Dawn answered as she followed behind the impostor Buffy. The young watcher pointed at her own double and then Buffy before fainting.

At this point their Xander stepped forward. 'What the hell is going on!' He half shouted before looking around 'My twin isn't going to pop out of nowhere now is he?'

'No he'd still with the Doctor' The duplicate Dawn answered.

'A doctor, what does a doctor have to do with anything.'

Willow clicked her fingers 'Your clones! And this doctor created you.'

'No we're not clones,' Answered a copied Willow who was following a very strangely dressed man who was almost tripping over his knitted scarf. 'This is the Doctor and he needs your help.'

Giles looked at the man, polished his glasses and put them back on. When this didn't work
he tried again. After the third time he coughed. 'When Willow said you are the doctor she really meant THE Doctor!'

'Indeed she did dear sir, indeed she did.'

'Giles? Who is this?' Buffy asked

From the corner of his eye Giles saw Andrew faint, very much like the now recovering Dawn. The fictional character answered for him. 'Good lady, I am The Doctor. I'm afraid that there are some, events, transpiring in another time that require your less than delicate touch.'

'Hang on… Do I know you? What are you a doctor of?'

'Life, the universe and everything.'

'huh?' Buffy's face was a portrait of confusion

'Come, without you your friends in LA will be helpless.' The Doctor explained with a edge that told Giles more than he needed to know


'And diverse others.' The Time Lord said 'You must come with me. In essence you already have.' He gestured to the two men who were behind him. They were Xander and Giles.

'Good lord!' Exclaimed the current Giles 'This is going to get very confusing.' He muttered and cleaned his glasses.

'Indeed it will. I suggest that you five go with the Doctor. Something very important will happen if you do.'

'and if we don't you will cease to exist.'

'I am afraid so.'

Buffy listened as the two Giles-es talked at first but eventually filtered them out. The strange "doctor" person was looking over the Hellmouth with a strange expression. With a half shrug he turned back to face Buffy. For a moment her slayer senses went haywire. Then he smiled and fanned himself with his oversized hat that somehow, almost but not entirely, spectacularly failed to match the scarf. The feeling left as fast as it had come.

'I'll never get used to that.' Her future self said from next to her. She was carrying two scythes, offering one to the current Buffy.

'What the hell was that.' Buffy whispered back.

'No clue, he's odd. Very odd. I've told me this before and I didn't listen then, or now really, but you should. Don't underestimate him, just because he looks like a hobo doesn't mean he is.' She literally thrust one of the scythes under her younger self's nose

'What's that mean crypto-girl?' Buffy took the current scythe from herself.

'That would be telling.'

The present Buffy's only response was to stick her tongue out at her future. Turning away she walked to the two watchers. 'Giles, our Giles, you're the only one here that has a clue as to what the hell is going on here so do we trust this weirdo?' She jerked her thumb at "the doctor".

He looked at her and finally put his extra shiny glasses back on. 'No question about it. Yourself, Xander ,Willow, Dawn not to mention myself have already done it. What's done has to be.'

'What I don't understand is why Dawn has to come.'

'My other self has yet to revile that.' Giles motioned to himself.

'Quite simple dear boy,' The Doctor said coming next to them. 'You each have a task to complete and while I might not know what I do know that each is important to the future. And quite possibly the past as well. Come my dear,' he took hold of Buffy's wrist and forced her to point at a blue box a hundred or so yards off the road. 'Time waits for no woman or man. Be them Slayer, Time lord or all the creatures dreamt of in you philosophy.' Smiling he swept majestically away, in the direction Buffy was still pointing.

'Why do I get the feeling things are just going to get stranger from this moment on?' Buffy asked no one in particular as she followed the mad man, her friends behind.

When they got to the box Buffy noticed a problem. It was too small for the five of them. She opened the door and looked into a great black unknown. 'Okay Giles what's going on.'

The watcher was literally hopping from foot to foot 'Can I go first?' He sounded like a child.

'Sure' Buffy stepped aside as the manically grinning watcher held a hand out and walked into the oily black. Without so much as a ripple it absorbed him and he vanished. 'Giles are you alright?' Buffy shouted into the darkness.

'Never better! Come in there's plenty of room.'

Buffy looked at the others. All but one was shaking their heads. 'Dawn? What's the matter with you.'

'I've seen this! Don't worry there's a whole ship behind there.'

'How do you know that?' Willow asked

'Andrew forced me to watch it on TV'

'Earth to Dawn. This is the real world not television.'

'So? This telephone box is a time machine. It's also a lot bigger on the inside than out'

'A bit like Bill an Ted.' Asked Xander.

'I think that copied off this guy. Come on its getting cold and I need a shower.'

'Shower? There's a bathroom in that little thing?' Buffy asked with a hint of hysteria.

'There's probably a multiplex cinema.' Dawn laughed and pulled Buffy in to the blackness.

Willow frowned at the unbroken surface. Without warning Buffy walked out, her eyes were as wide as saucers. Willow watched her best friend walk in a circle around the phone box. She then walked the opposite way around, testing each of the sturdy box's walls. Then she walked in again, only to walk right back out and fall flat on her face.

'Xander? What is going on?'

'You're asking me?'

'You get her arms, I've got her feet.' Together the witch and the one-eyed carpenter carried the sleeping slayer into the TARDIS.

They were standing in a big white room, behind them the door they had come from closed without a sound. There were two other doors in the triangle shaped room. The roof stretched on forever. The centre of the room was taken up by some sort of great round pedestal. Several cylinders rose and fell from the centre of this device. Little lights a switches danced on an off for no reason other than to while away the boredom of staying put. Giles was talking to the Doctor as he tried to set a dial of some sort.

Willow decided that Buffy had the right idea and fainted herself.

End Chapter one