The Edge of Destruction.
'Ohh pretty light!' Gasped Dawn and Buffy had had about enough.
'Dawn there is no light. No dancing elves, no flying fish or purple elephants. No nothing, you got that?' she pulled at the scythe, only to have nothing happen then she tried to let go and that didn't work either. 'Urm Willow… How do I let go?'
'Say; Bring the light.' Supplied Merlin before covering his eyes
Willow shrugged and raised her arms again; 'Bring the light.' The result was instantaneous, where the weapons crossed a purple and red light shone. With a titanic pulse this light forced the two weapons apart.
'See I told you. Pretty.' Dawn chirped as the light, quite literary, washed the demons and their remains of the face of the planet.
Giles blinked the spots from his eyes; 'Yes… well good work everyone.'
Xander trailed behind the surviving members of Angel Investigations; 'So we go home?'
'Alright but before you swan off I've got a question.'
Buffy sighed and Giles knew how she felt. It had been a very long few days. 'What is it Spike?' she asked.
'You're from the past right,' they nodded. 'Right so if you're from the past and you're here the you that is in Rome, now, should know I'm here right? And you would have come and helped us. The you now not the you then. If you know what I'm getting at.'
Giles hadn't thought of that, 'Yes you said we were needed but why take us from the past?'
The Doctor had the grace to look embarrassed and then confused. Giles saw what he was looking at. Dawn was poking her own hand and watching it change colour where her finger nail went. Looking up the Doctor began to search his pockets for something. 'Yes well you see due to Angel's connections to Wolfram and Heart the versions of yourselves that are here don't trust him. That and other, more personal, reasons mean that Angel was effectively cut off from you permanently. I was ordered to bring you here And I chose a year ago because it was when you were the most powerful, and together. You meet again and gather with each other many times but that was the last time you fought a major battle as a group.'
'That doesn't answer my question. How come today's Buffy doesn't know what this one knows?' Spike pressed
'Now where did I put that… I'm sorry, did you say something?' the Doctor was still looking for something.
'Your avoiding the question.' Buffy said. 'Why?'
'I'm not avoiding any question. Ah here it is.' He pulled out an old yoyo and handed it to Dawn who squeaked with delight.
'You are! Stop it. You didn't answer just give Dawn a yoyo, which was pointless because she can't use one. Now answer the question before I hit you.' Buffy was getting angry, but before Giles could calm her down Dawn answered;
'We forgot about it.' she smiled before absently cracking the yoyo back to her palm like an expert.
'Urm forgot.' Xander waved his hand, 'I'm sorry fighting a dragon here. Not something I'm going to forget.'
'Not on your own. the Time Lords will help won't they?' Dawn smiled inanely while spinning the yoyo.
'Hang on, hang on,' Xander held his hands up. 'You're going to wipe our minds?'
'Not personally but yes I am afraid so.'
'What… Why?' Willow asked while Giles remembered what was said in Camelot about a condition.
'There are certain things you are aware of, not least my existence and the resurrection of your vampire friend , that you cannot know about.'
'Why didn't you tell us?' Asked Willow.
'Would you have come? No. So in not telling you I was able to save the planet and then your memories will be erased anyway.'
'This is all well and good, and quite interesting but I have another question. Where's King Arthur and his men gone?' Giles looked around, they had simply vanished and there wasn't even a sign that they were ever there.
'They were sent back by the light. Now that that's over and done with I suggest we leave.' The Doctor gestured back to the Tardis.
Dawn frowned at the yoyo. It refused to come back up and just span there in little circles. In the sprit of experimentation she kicked it. Right into Angel's head.
'Ow, Dawnie. What was that for.'
'Conner.' She beamed at him before kicking it in his face again.
'Who the hell is this Conner anyway?' Charles threw his arms in the air.
'I've a better question,' Said Angel getting up. He was chainging the subject, it didn't matter She had already dented the spell after a few weeks it would crack and then the'll all know 'What's wrong with her?'
'I'd rather not say.' As the Doctor smiled at her Dawn kicked the yoyo again only to have Angel catch it and look her in the eyes
'Not this again.' Groaned Buffy 'Please just tell us.' Angel blinked rapidly and took a few steps backwards, almost scared of what he saw.
'She's insane Buffy. Completely.' The vampire said
'I'm afraid he's right Buffy, Giles announced, 'I did some research in the TARDIS and found something disturbing. There is a condition known as Space Dementia. If a person's mind cannot accept the lack of fixed reference points and the effects of zero gravity they can become unhinged.'
'Like the Total Perspective Vortex?'
'Yes Dawn. Something like that. Unfortunately the same thing can happen with Time travel. The lack of a fixed time point can drive you insane.'
'Your stupid Giles.' Dawn felt quite disgusted with him.
'Your stupid and you insulted the TARDIS. She stops that from happening because she is a TARDIS and one of the best ever built.'
'She?' Asked Willow.
The Doctor coughed for attention 'You see the TARDIS is far from an inert transport device. It is a telepathic life form and the oldest surviving TARDIS in existence. The result is that it is a sentient lifeform, though for as long as I've know it it's had the personality of a child. That's why it refuses to go where I want it too. As the Key's body is a vessel the TARDIS is simply stretching it's legs as it were.'
'So the TARDIS is in her head, must be a lot of spare room.' Joked Buffy.
'I score better SAT's than you so there. Dawn stuck her tongue out at her sister before looking to Giles 'Sorry about calling you stupid… But you did say it first.'
'I know and I'm sorry too. Can you tell the TARDIS that?'
'Just did. We need to go home now.' Dawn grinned before skipping to the blue doors. As everyone who should went in she looked back to Angel and pulled the yoyo out of his hands. 'There's a phone call for you in the hotel. Go.'
He looked at the building that backed onto the ally before turning back to her 'Thanks.'
'See you around little bit.' Spike Smiled. 'Tell Buffy I love her.'
'I will.' As the four of them left She looked at the yoyo, there was one last thing she had to do. the sound of a subdued TARDIS taking off came from her hand and the yoyo vanished.
On the opposite side of the globe the same small sound echoed off a new(ish) dresser that sat in her room. Confused Dawn picked the small object up before grinning like a loon. 'Buffy! Phone!'
Else-when Buffy watched her past-self follow the past Doctor with the gang a few steps behind her. 'She has no idea what's going to happen.' She said to no one before laughing.
'So what's the future like B?'
'Its weird. Very weird Faith.' Something wasn't right, she still remembered all of it. 'Giles, do you think he was pulling our leg about the whole memory wipe thing?'
'He's not the sort of person to joke about that. However I haven't forgotten anything. Is something wrong Dawn?'
'I miss the TARDIS, it was cool.' She pouted.
'It turned you into a giggling lunatic Dawn.' Xander reminded her as he approached.
'All it did was help me see the silly things for what they were.' she shrugged. Buffy followed her gaze to where the other blue box was rapidly vanishing.
'Hey Dawn don't worry about it, we might see them again.'
'Your right we could. Even if we don't it doesn't look like were going to forget any time soon.'
Buffy smiled at her sister, glad that she was back to normal. Looking over the crater that was once her home town she kept smiling, everything was back to normal. Without warning the power of the scythe suddenly flickered and faded. 'What did you say Dawn?'
'Urm… What do you want to do now?'
Far from the bus and the crater a lone man stood against a wooden blue box, observing the world around him with a certain amount of satisfaction. A rather pleased smile spread across his face as the bus pulled away and he walked into the TARDIS, insufferably happy at the way things turned out. 'So where next my old friend.' he asked the ancient time ship before blindly activating the console.
Outside a low grinding of gears accompanied the slow disappearance of the box from existence, leaving the remains of the small town silent and peaceful.
Fade to titles and cue music! There you have it and I hope you liked it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, your comments were appreciated. Now I move on to finish the rest of my stories (before the asylum beckons me back that is). Thank you and please read my other stories, they deserve some attention after all!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel the Series both belong to Mutant Enemy Inc and 20th Century Fox.
Doctor Who belongs to the BBC.
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy has existed in so many versions, produced by so many different studios that the only person I can really credit is the creator, the late Douglas Adams, and the original producers, the BBC.
Finally, Monty Python and the Holy Grail belongs to Python, Monty Productions.
(King Arthur belongs to history and this twisted take on it comes from my imagination) I own non of the characters or ideas connected to any of them.
AKA Mountain King.
March to August 2005