Disclaimer: For the final time, Me-no-own-pokemon or the joke references made in this fic! Golly, if you don't get it by now, I QUIT!!
Welcome to the remake of the final chapter of small problems, big surprises, bigger chaos! Now, while I was overjoyed with the responses and the humor level of this chapter, I was APPALLED with the confession scene. I seriously wondered what possessed me to make it so thoughtless and rushed. But now, I've decided to not only fix that, but in order to reward you readers for you dedicated, I've added new content and upgraded this chapter, giving it a new, smexy look, so be sure to read the entire thing. Please enjoy the final, final chapter – The biggest solution of all. Thank you all for reading.
WARNING: Randomness and several references ahead!
Shout outs: Many thanks and sacrificial donuts go to sykilik101 for his relentless support and encouragement. Be sure to check out "Beloved Redwood" and "The story behind the picture". You won't be disappointed.
Final Chapter – The biggest solution of all
The last day of chaos
Time: 11: 34 AM
It was a fantastic day in the city of Mauville. The sun was burning brightly and happily in the clear sky. The birds were singing words of praise to the city's inhabitants as the bees were buzzing joyously in the air. What the birds and the bees were doing together, no one bothered to question. The question on everyone's lips, however, was why Ash and Pikachu were running for their bite-sized lives.
"Hurry Pikachu! They're gaining!" Ash shrieked in terror.
Several yards behind them was an unspeakably wicked force. Their shrill cries and screams decimated the sound barrier as they stampeded relentlessly towards our hero. It was one of Ash's most feared foes. They would trample over Team Rocket, dose Team Magma, burn Team Aqua, make Team Galactic look even sillier than they currently were, and do other nasty things to the other unnamed forces of evil.
It was the attack of the fan girls.
From using educational magazines as projectiles to turning the elderly into shields, Ash used any means necessary to lose his pursuers. While running, he caught sight of someone's skateboard and borrowed it to gain speed. When he glanced behind, he saw the fan girls chase him on skateboards and bikes and cursed inwardly. Riding down the city streets, Ash swerved expertly through traffic. As he traversed the car-infested streets, the street light many yards ahead turned red.
'Uh oh…' He arrived at the intersection when a large truck was passing by. The skateboard was going too fast! Having only one chance, Ash hugged Pikachu tightly and lay on the skateboard, barely sliding under the truck. Most of the girls dodged the truck, but a few of them ran into it, causing the truck to explode upon impact.
'Note to self…' Ash commented, gaping at all the fan girls holding ropes, nets, specially made pokéballs, and other capturing devices. He didn't even want to know what they were going to do with those handcuffs and whips. 'Never ask a fan girl for the time!'
"(Ash, look!)" Pikachu exclaimed, pointing ahead. Ash glanced ahead and got an idea that would put MacGyver out of business.
"To the anime store!" Ash led. He leapt off the skateboard and ran inside the store. Hastily, he grabbed what ever tapes he could to repel them. When the fan girls of doom approached him, he flashed one of the tapes at them.
One of them gasped in horror. "NOT YAOI!!" Some of the hunters fled for their sanity, but many remained.
"Crap, yaoi fans!" Ash cursed. He quickly searched through the stack of nightmares for another weapon. When he found what he was looking for, he waved it at them, effectively stopping most of them.
"No, keep away the demon!" They screeched in terror. A lot of them either fainted or escaped with their lives.
Ash wiped the sweat off his brow. "Thank the dark gods for Mary Sues." He commented. His eyes widened when he glanced ahead. They were still some left, and closing in fast! What could possibly be more terrifying than Mary Sues!?
Ash was about to lose hope when something caught his attention. His eyes widened in fear. There was only one thing more dangerous than Mary Sues, and it could very well destroy him if he wasn't careful. Should he fail, he would suffer a fate worse than Inuyasha's filler ending, if such a thing existed. Taking his only chance to escape the claws of torment and possible molestation, he grabbed the forbidden weapon and tossed it at them. Ash grabbed Pikachu and leapt behind some protection.
"Brace yourself Pikachu!" Ash warned urgently, preparing for impact.
The evil tape hit one of the girls in the head, knocking her out. When they took the bait and examined the tape, they froze with fright. It was the most horrible tape to ever be constructed. Even more frightening than Chuck Norris's nose hairs, Brock's real eyes and James's secret fetish combined.
4kids's greatest hits.
All of the attackers, and everything within a four block radius spontaneously combusted, setting everything in a fiery blaze of glory for Ash. Quickly escaping the scene, he and Pikachu made it back to the Pokemon Center, unscathed by the fan girl menace. When they arrived, he shut the door, locked it and slid to the ground, exhausted. After recovering, he pulled out a chocolate bar from his pocket and took a bite, savoring the sweet, sweet taste of victory.
Sometime later, Ash calmly and thoroughly explained the incident to Brock and Max. "You should've been there! I was like "whoa!" And they were like "get back here!" and I was like "No way Jose!" Then I went like "bam" and they were like "Oh noes!" then everything exploded in a bazillion pieces! And that's how I managed to get back here alive."
"That is so amazing! I totally wish I was there to see it!" Max praised, starry eyed.
Brock didn't share the boy's sentiments.
"Ash…" The breeder started, annoyed. "Did you even go next door to borrow some sugar like I asked you to?"
…Ash just knew he was forgetting something, besides puberty that is. "Uh…no?" He answered sheepishly. Brock groaned loudly, but left to do the job himself.
Feeling bored, Ash and Max left the room to search the building a little bit more, though Ash was cautious to not incur the wrath of the fan girls again. During their walk, a poster on the wall caught Max's attention. He motioned Ash to take a look at it. It read "Pokemon theme park grand opening today! Come and enjoy a variety of Pokemon, food, and attractions!" Ash drooled over the fun that they would have, quite literally. He and Max glanced at each other, both having the same thought. They ran to meet up with the others.
After gathering his friends, Ash and Max told them of the best possible way to spend Misty's last day.
"LET'S HAVE A FESTIVAL PARTY!!" Ash and Max cheered loudly.
"I don't know…" Misty contemplated, remembering the phone call that she and May made to Delia. May was thinking the same way. Delia explicitly told them the rules in order to maintain the utter carnage that he could very well bring, which could potentially be even more dangerous than 4kids's existence.
Rule one: Caution when bringing Ash to festivals.
Misty and May both cringed at the story Delia told them of the last time she took him to a festival…
A younger Delia and Ash waltzed through a large crowd that was waiting for a ride on a popular roller coaster. While walking, Delia accidentally bumped into a bystander. When she looked to see if Ash was okay, he had disappeared! Her eyes widened with alert, searching for Ash's whereabouts. She ran around for several minutes until she'd found her son…at the shooting gallery…holding the BB gun in place…in the opposite direction it should be facing.
"Look at me mom! I'm Rambo!" Ash waved, wearing a camouflage bandanna around his head. Delia was less concerned about where he got that head band from, but more worried about the fact that her overly energetic son was toting a dangerous weapon.
This had pandemonium written all over it.
"Say hello to my little friend!" Ash shouted, ignoring the corrective protest of nerdy fan boys worldwide. Before Delia could get a word out, pellets spray at the crowd as she ducked for her life.
While Ash was on a shooting spree, a worker who stood near an electrical device was shot repetitively. Unfortunately, the man was drinking coffee at the time, resulting in him spilling his drink over the device. The control switch for adjusting the Ferris wheel's speed short circuited, causing it to spin so fast that many of the cars snapped off, sending its victims to who knows where. As the wheel of death spun out of control, the was-about-to-be-repaired-but-the-lazy-repairman-was-too-busy-procrastiniating-like-this-fiction's-author placement holders for the wheel fell off, causing the ring of destruction to shoot off at over a hundred miles an hour, charging through the festival grounds.
As everyone ran mindlessly in circles, they failed to notice a conveniently place fireworks shop that was in the direct line of fire of the oversized octagon of doom. The fireworks exploded in a fiery display of beautiful yet deadly lights. The incredibly intelligent designer of the park's layout placed an alcohol tent next to the inferno tempest, resulting in a searing wave that rushed throughout the entire theme park.
An hour later, the entire park was in Ashes. Speaking of Ash, he gazed at the destruction and chaos that he invoked. His mother retreated from her hiding spot and stared wide eyed at him.
"Hey mom! This year was fun! What theme park are we going to next year?"
Delia promptly fainted.
After a brief consideration of the balance of safety –mainly their own- and Ash's potential to be more horrifying than palletshipping, it was easy to come to a decision. But before Misty could deny him of his fun, May leaned over to her.
"Look, I know he could be a bit of trouble, but think about what good could come out of it." She whispered
Misty stared at her incredulously. "A…bit…of…trouble!? Don't you remember what Mrs. Ketchum told us? He. Destroyed. An. Entire. Park!"
"Personally, I thought the "Say hello to my little friend!" comment was more of an issue, but anyway, think about the good that would happen if you took him on the ride."
"You don't mean…"
"That's right!" May grinned sneakily, causing Misty to do the same.
"Um, hello! We can hear everything you're saying!" Brock told them matter-of-factly. The girls jumped back in surprise, noticing that everyone was listening to them intently. "So, I am guessing this means you girls are in?" They nodded without hesitation. "Good! Let's go!"
The gang soon arrived at the park, gaping at the size of the illustrious theme park. There were an excess of people, food, rides, and crazy, decrepit old men who clutched objects protectively in their arms, continuously saying "My precious!" to themselves. Ash and co. strolled happily throughout the theme park. Ash and Max bounced around in merriment, too overwhelmed to contain their excitement. The weather was perfect for the festive event, and once again, no one thought to question the morality of cross-breeding concerning the singing birds and the buzzing bees. Seriously, did anyone not bother to wonder about that? Why weren't any other animals included in such a delicate subject? Was this supposed to be some elaborate hint or message? Couldn't it have just been two birds or two bees? Or maybe even—
"GET ON WITH IT!" Everyone yelled.
…Anyway, Ash and the group were happily trekking the festive grounds, searching for excitement in their happy, non-questioning lives.
"What-should-we-eat? What-ride-should-we-go-on? Which-old-man-should-we-prank-first?" Ash and Max said in a lighting fast pace of jumbled words.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! There's plenty of time so let's just pick a ride and go on." Brock laughed.
"Yeah, let's just have some fun okay?" Misty requested. Ash and Max nodded enthusiastically. Ash spotted something and pointed to it.
"Hey look, a birthday suit!" Fearing that it was what he really said it was, Misty, May and Brock slowly turned to see a tent that carried birthday hats and other clothing of that nature. All three exhaled a sigh of relief. Ash pointed towards another direction. "Look! A man in his birthday suit!" Picturing a grown man in those silly costumes, they turned to see him and get a good laugh, only to gasp in absolute horror.
A man drenched in slippery oil streaked across the fair grounds, taunting and slipping in and out of the security guards reach. No matter how hard they tried, the naked man would slip out of their hands like wet soap. Ash and Max were vaguely reminded of a certain weapon they played with a few days ago. Misty and May quickly covered their eyes, while Brock covered his and danced about wildly.
"OH GOD, I'VE BEEN BLINDED!!" He screamed in misery. Misty gave in a questioning glance.
"How could you? Your eyes are always closed." She pointed out, but he was in too much pain to listen. Ash, yet again, pointed in another direction.
"Look! A lady in her birthday suit!"
Brock's neck nearly snapped off from the immeasurable amount of G-forces he breached when he turned his head. His eyes caught sight of a young woman wearing a birthday suit… the same one that was inside the tent. He fell face first in the dirt.
"Err…anyway, let's find a ride, come on…Ash? Ash!?" Misty called out, searching for the mini Houdini who magically disappeared. Misty got worried, remembering Delia's rules of prevention.
Rule two: NEVER, EVER let Ash out of your sight.
"Where's Max?" May asked. Misty's eyes maxed out in size.
This could be a problem.
Detective duo extraordinaire Ash and Max traversed the theme park, taking in all the sights. After some time, they arrived at one of the main attractions, the haunted house. Ash grinned wickedly.
"Nice, a haunted house! Just like before huh Pikachu?" He reminisced. Pikachu shivered at the mention of Lavender town. "Let's go inside!"
Max, more hesitant to go, stepped backwards slowly. "Err…I think I'm going to pass."
Ash stared at him, confused. "Why?"
"I don't like haunted houses much…"
"Oh don't be such a baby. It's all fake, so there's no need to worry." Ash reassured. Not wasting anytime, he grabbed Max's arm and dragged him inside the spooky mansion. The mansion itself was elaborately decorated with fake spiders, zombies, bats, and many other objects. The inside was very dark and large, giving the impression that danger was around every corner.
Max clung onto Ash's arm tightly, frightened by the creepiness of the haunted house. "C-c-come on Ash, Let's get out of here." He requested shakily.
"Oh come on, this will be fun. I've been to real haunted houses before, and this is a poor example. I mean look at this!" Ash pointed at a decorative zombie…or so he thought. "This is supposed to be a scary monster, but instead we get this cruddy beast thing!"
"Uh…Ash?" Max called, backing up cautiously.
"And the design is so dumb! I mean, what kind of person would create a zombie that looks this stupid! Not to mention that this thing is too flat to even resemble a human!"
"Ash, I don't think you should do that…" He pointed out, referring to Ash trying to disassemble the zombie.
"Well, at least it has some realism, with the heavy breathing…and the angry trembling…and the…glaring…" He trailed off; catching the full glimpse of the object he was insulting. "Oh…err…hey Misty! Y-you know that I was just kidding about that whole dumb looking zombie thing right? …Err…right!?"
Many bruises later…
"Don't run off like that again! We were looking everywhere for you!" Brock chastised, carrying Ash's battered body. "Alright, let's try something else."
"How about we get on a roller coaster?" May suggested. Everyone smiled widely.
"Sounds good! Let's get to it." Brock agreed.
A few minutes later…
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE CAN'T GET ON!?" Ash and Max yelled angrily. They were in front of a monstrous roller coaster known as the soul breaker, and according to the height scale, Ash and Max were "Not tall enough to ride this ride" as the sign clearly stated. They were wailing and yelling out their plan to sue the company for discrimination of short people. Ash was even madder, considering that he used to be tall enough for the ride.
And that ticked him off to no end.
"Sorry, but you're just too small." Brock answered.
Ash began to fume. "That's what she said!" He said out of anger.
"Low blow Ash…" Brock cried dejectedly, sitting in a dark and gloomy corner.
"Don't worry about it. There're still some more rides around. As a matter of fact, I will stay and go on some rides with you." Misty reassured. Ash gazed at her, getting teary eyed.
"You're the best Misty!" He leapt up and gave her a hug, causing her to fall back in surprise. She reddened deeply. Not so much from the hug attack Ash gave, but more from the sniggers that emanated from May and Brock.
"Alright you two, knock it off!" Misty snapped. May and Brock left to go on the ride, leaving Misty to her fate. She turned to make sure Ash hadn't pulled another disappearing act. Ash almost succeeded. His finger tips barely brushed the surface of an all too familiar BB gun when a loud snap cracked in the air, making him freeze with fright.
'No…anything but that!' Ash thought, deathly afraid. Misty smirked smugly, thanking Delia for such a brilliant weapon.
Rule one in containment: The Ash bane works wonders.
"Oh…Ash…!" Misty called out tauntingly. Ash slowly turned his head, his eyes widened. In her hands was a scarf, a wet scarf that was winded up tightly. "Do you still want to play with that big, pretty gun?" Her voice was sickeningly sweet, daring him to touch that weapon of mass destruction. Ash quickly shook his head, not wanting to feel the sting of the Ash bane.
"No, that's okay! I was just…staring at it." Ash told her, standing stock still.
"You better just be staring at it." Misty was enjoying her moment of triumph. "Okay, so let's go look for some rides!" She cheered, lightening the mood. Ash and Max followed her example by shooting their fist in the air. Unfortunately, Ash was still right next to the BB gun. His fist hit the butt of the gun, causing the rapid fire weapon to shoot and spin out of control. Thankfully, the gun stopped shooting shortly, causing minimal damage. Ash glanced up after ducking from its fire, and sighed in relief.
"Man, that was a close one huh Misty?" Ash then saw Misty and paled. Her shirt and shorts were ravaged and torn, almost revealing more than he would ever hope to see. The clothes lost its ability to hold itself together, resulting in Misty trying to regain what dignity was left. She tighten some lose ends together, making it look sexy, but shredded.
Meanwhile, somewhere in the world, a good number of Misty fan boys are inappropriately touching themselves while some people are beginning to see this as Misty's pedophilia and SM complex.
Back to the soon-to-be murder scene, the look on Misty's face told him to get the heck out of there, but his legs were too busy trembling with fear. "Ash!" Her voice crescendo in anger. Ash knew what was coming.
"Max!? Pikachu!?" He called for help but his cries went unheeded. Seeing that they left quite some time ago, he was left with only one option.
Run and scream like a girl.
The sounds of snaps and yelps could be heard throughout the theme park.
Sometime and some more bruises later, everyone gathered in the center of the park. They decided that they would travel around and search for anything that would be fun –and harmless- for them to do. While crossing the fairgrounds, they came across an old couple that traveled with a Meowth. They seemed very familiar, and suspicious. The old couple approached them.
"Excuse me youngsters." The old lady addressed. "That's a mighty fine Pikachu you have their, mind if we pet it?"
The gang gave them skeptical glares, appalled that they thought they could fool them. It was so obvious!
"Oh no you don't!" Ash declared, jumped back. "You are not going to get Pikachu!"
"That's right!" Everyone yelled, preparing to fight.
"Haha, what exciting bunch of kids you all are." The old man laughed, unable to foresee the imminent pain they were about to receive.
Giving them no time to react, Ash took the initiative. "Pikachu, use thunder!" The mouse charged up an incredible amount of electricity and launched it at the enemy, electrocuting them. After several more attacks, they laid on the ground, battered and defeated. "My hip! My leg! Won't someone help me?" The old couple cried in agony.
"Hah! That was team rocket's worst disguise ever!" Ash boasted, proud of his crushing victory.
"Help!" The old couple cried weakly, sadly unheeded.
"That was whose worst disguise?" A voice asked from behind, scaring the heck out of Ash. Jessie, James and Meowth stared at them curiously.
"Wha!? Team rocket!? What are you doing over there!?" May gasped. The gang hesitantly glanced at the old couple and Meowth, who were moaning in agony.
"Uh oh…" Ash and Pikachu stared at each other, having the same thought in mind. "Later!" They escaped the scene, leaving the real team rocket baffled.
As Team Rocket left, a group of deep-fried senior citizens were left broken and defeated. "…Why won't anyone help us?"
The group panted heavily after running for several minutes. It was night time, and the fair only had a few more hours until they closed for the night. Max and Pikachu left to enjoy some rides while May and Brock grabbed their respective targets for the coup de grace of operation: knock two love birds with one stone.
"Alright, this is your last chance Misty! You've got to get him on that ride!" May said, convincing Misty to go through with it.
"But, what if he doesn't want to go?"
"But he has too! And he will if you use the ace in the hole."
May blushed. "No, Misty! Besides…That's for the third date. I'm talking about the ace in the hole!
"But May…I don't use vibrators…we talked about this…"
May blushed even harder. "No, no, not that! The other thing!"
"I don't think Ash will fall for the peanut butter trick…"
May groan irritably, rubbing her temples. She was as oblivious as Ash. "Misty, while I admit that that idea IS pretty handy, that's not what I'm talking about…"
"Aren't we too young to even consider that yet? I mean, I'm not a leather and whip kind of girl, and with his short stature, it would be hard for me to—"
"For heaven's sake, Misty! I'm talking about the plan we went over earlier!
"Oh, okay! I get it now! But isn't that just a bit unfair?"
"Trust me, you won't feel as bad when he is in your arms." May reassured.
"Well I guess…" Misty agreed, still unsure about it.
"Don't worry about it. You're going to thank me later!"
Misty got a little more confident and nodded. "Alright, let's do this!"
Meanwhile, Brock stuffed a device and a sheet of paper inside of Ash's pocket.
"Alright, this is the plan." Brock began. "I'm going to make sure you get through this with the mini microphone I stuck in your jacket. When it is the right time, the beeper in your pocket will vibrate, letting you know to read that sheet of paper."
Ash looked at him, confused. "Can't you tell me what the paper says? Or what ride I'm going on with Misty?"
"Nope, just do what I tell you and you will thank me later!"
Ash gave him a blank stare. "Aren't you the same guy who never had a girlfriend before? I don't want to be single forever, you know."
Disappointed, Brock huffed and turned around. "Well, I guess this DATELESS man should just go back and leave you all alone!"
"No, no, I'm sorry! Please don't leave me!" Ash pleaded.
"Fine, just go and win that girl!" Brock cheered. Ash left to rejoin Misty. Off the side, May slid next to him and giggled giddily.
"They're finally going to do it!" May took one look at Brock's expression and punched him in the back of the head. "Not THAT you pervert!" After a quick apology, Brock motioned May over to spy on them from afar.
"Where are we going?" Ash asked. Misty was walking with him hand in hand, searching for the ride.
"We're going on a special ride."
Ash perked up excitedly. "Cool! What kind of ride is—oh, my, gosh!" Ash blanched. There were couples swarming the area. He saw a ride that stood out from all the others, his worst nightmare.
The tunnel of love.
"NOOOO!!" Ash shrieked, yanking his arm out of Misty's grip. "You can't make me!! I don't wanna go to that cootie infested sea of death!!"
"Yes you are!" Misty argued.
"No I'm not!"
"Yes you are!!"
"No I am not!!"
"Yes you are, or else!!"
"Or else what!?" Ash shot. He gasped when he saw tears coming down her eyes. Many people were watching them. Misty grinned mentally.
Rule of containment two: Ash has a guilty conscious.
"Oh how could you do this to me!?" Misty cried. She turned to her audience dramatically, her eyes sparkling with tears. "All I wanted…All I ever wished…was to enjoy this one and only time to I would have with my one and only brother!"
Ash was speechless. He didn't like where this was going.
"I had to work three jobs since our parents died in a horrible car crash and go to school at the same time." The crowd gasped at the revelation. "Not only that, but I had to spend my entire life savings and all the food I could've bought myself for the week just to enjoy the only time I have left with my brother…before I become comatose from an incurable disease! After taking bullets, swimming raging waves, fighting Gyarados single handedly, and watching the 4kids's dubbed One Piece episodes TWICE, just to save my only family, he doesn't want to do the one thing I've ever asked for…to ride with the brother that I love more than anything!" The crowd was overwhelmed with her story, shedding many tears.
Ash watched many of the bystanders glare at him, making him feel uneasy "Alright already! I'll go with you! Just please, no more crying and stories!" Ash pleaded.
Misty's eyes cleared up instantly, and her lips turned into a victorious grin. "Let's go then!" Misty ran ahead. Ash shuffled after her, feeling miserable about being tricked.
The two had sailed in a pink boat shaped like a swan. The tunnel that led to a lake was adorned with hearts, cupids, and many other things that were considered cute and fluffy. Misty sat on her seat comfortably while Ash sat on her lap, fuming.
This place made him sick.
Misty remembered what she had to do. She was thankful that the potion made him so small and cute looking, making it a lot easier. Ash managed to calm down by the sight of some water Pokémon. Misty couldn't hold back to chuckle that escaped her lungs. All it took was the sight of Pokémon and Ash would be his cheery, happy self. He never changed, no matter how old he got.
And she hoped that it would stay that way.
The two reached an opening. The scenery took their breath away. Fluorescent lights from the park sparkled magnificently in the night sky. The lake shimmered under the moonlight, setting up the perfect atmosphere.
Now was the time.
Ash rested comfortably on Misty's lap, content. Misty wrapped her arms around him, causing him to snuggle against her. They sat in a comfortable silence, neither knowing what to say.
"Misty?" Ash started, breaking the silence.
"Thanks for coming to visit."
"It's no problem. I had a break, so I decided to visit."
"Well, it was nice of you."
"Thanks Ash. I have to admit, ever since I joined you in your adventures, I've been through some of the craziest adventures, and these three days were full of them." They both laughed. "But you know…I don't think there is any other person I would rather be with in those adventures than you…"
That took his breath away. He wasn't expecting her to say something so touching. "Well, through all of my adventures, the best ones were whenever you were with me. I really missed you and those times, Misty."
There was a long pause.
"Ash/Misty?" They both said at the same time. "You first." It wasn't long until they started to laugh.
"It's alright, I'll go first." Ash swallowed hard. He glanced upward to see Misty's face. His mind went completely blank, and his face reddened. "Um…yeah, there's something I wanted to tell you…"
Misty's heart leapt to her throat. Was he going to say what she hoped he was going to say? Her heart started beating rapidly.
Ash was still struggling with his words. That's when the beeper in his pocket began to vibrate. Taking his cue, Ash pulled a note from his pocket and hoped that Brock knew what he was doing.
"Oh, okay…um…here we go…my to do list…" He was so nervous he didn't bother to look at what he was reading. Misty was extremely muddled. "…Number one, cook breakfast for the gang…" Misty nearly fell off the boat in surprise. He was reading Brocks to do list! "Number two…repair spy camera to catch girls taking showers in the waterfall…" Misty's fist was clenched tightly.
He was going down when she saw him next time!
"Um…number three…work on pickup lines…number four…remember to buy the extra large enhancement pills…number five…finish paying off sexual harassment charges…"
"Ash?" Misty giggled, catching his attention. "Turn the paper around." She suggested. Ash fumbled the paper until it was turned around.
"Oh….oh, right! Err…Misty…I--" Before he could continue, Misty snatched the paper and crumbled it. Ash's jaw dropped.
"No Ash. If you're going to do it, make sure you do it from the heart, not paper." She advised him. He nodded and turned fully to see her face. Inside, Misty was leaping for joy. All he needed to do was say it.
"Misty…I…I…" Ash's eyes got watery as he stared desperately at Misty. "I want you to start traveling with us again!"
"I really you Misty! Come back to us!" Ash flailed his arms childishly, "I miss the way you bossed me around. How you would always call me an idiot for getting us lost! The way you always argued with me! I miss how smart, helpful, and super special awesome you are! I miss everything!"
'Poor Ash…' She suspected that he might've felt like this, but just didn't voice it. "Ash, I'm sorry, but I can't—" Ash suddenly lunged for her, hugging her by the neck.
"It hurt so much when you left us, Misty! I want you back!" Ash bawled, letting his heart out. "I love you too much, Misty! And when you left that day, it was…it was…it was too saaaaaad!"
"Oh Ash…" Misty gently pushed him off just enough so she could see his crying face. He really did look like a little kid with his face stained with tears and his nose running. She wiped a tear from his eyes, catching his attention. "Ash, listen to me. I was hurt too when I left. Really, I was. But I can't keep following you forever. Ash, I love you very much, but I have my own dreams to follow too. Once we've both accomplished our dreams, we'll meet up again and be together forever, just the two of us. Okay?"
Ash sniffed, wiping the tears from his eyes. "You…y-you mean that, Misty?"
"All of it." Misty extended her pinky to Ash, winking as she did so. "Boyfriend, girlfriend promise?"
With a wide smile, Ash wrapped his pinky around Misty's. "Boyfriend, girlfriend promise!"
"Good!" Swiftly, Misty planted a small kiss on Ash's cheek, causing him to blush darkly. "And that one is a going away present!"
"I like presents! I'll be sure to give you some when I see you next time!"
"Heh, I'll be waiting!"
"Awesome!" With that, Ash gave Misty the biggest huge his little body could muster. Suddenly, Ash's body started to glow a bright pink. "Hey…I feel kinda warm for some reason…" Ash noticed his body was starting to glow brighter and brighter.
Misty glanced at Ash in surprise. "A-Ash?"
Misty started coughing and wheezing, the pink smoke getting into her lunges. "Sheesh, I wish Ash wasn't full of so many surprises sometimes…" She was quick to notice a hefty new weight that was applied to her lap and shoulders. Once the smoke cleared, it was evident.
Ash was back to full size.
"Whoa, sweet! I'm finally back to normal!" Ash beamed, happy to be back to his old self.
. "Um…Ash?" Misty asked timidly.
"…Could you get off my lap?"
Ash blushed, as did Misty, noticing how he was sitting on her lap and hugging her. "Um, about that…I don't think it's gonna matter."
"Why not?" Right when she finished her sentence, the boat cap sized backwards, tossing them into the water. When they resurfaced, they stared at each other, and laughed heartily.
"Come on Misty, Let's head back." He carried her on his back and swam back to shore. Some of the other bystanders gawked in amazement.
"Man…I don't know what kind of enhancement pill that boy used, but I want it!"
When they made it back to shore, May and Max ran up to them and cheered happily. "You guys finally did it! Congratulations!"
Embarrassed, Ash scratched the back of his head bashfully. He was about to make a comment when he noticed someone missing. "Hey, where's Brock?"
May pointed to the battered body that could barely be identified as Brock. "We heard your entire conversation…all of it." May scowled.
"That reminds me. Ash, can you excuse me for a moment?" Misty asked. Right when Ash nodded, she ran towards Brock and began to beat him senseless with her mallet, yelling many fowl obscenities.
"Well…I think we should go back and call it a night, I'm exhausted." Ash suggested. Everyone agreed and journeyed back to their rooms, only this time, Ash and Misty went back hand in hand.
The next day came, and it was time for Misty to leave. The other's stayed behind to watch the romance fluff between them. In front of the train, Ash and Misty conversed a little. They couldn't hear what they were talking about, but shortly after, they started to close the distance between, and then…they hugged. Brock, Max, May and even Pikachu fell over in astonishment. After some heartfelt goodbyes, Misty boarded the magnet train back to Cerulean city.
Ash walked back to his group, only to see them glaring. "…What?"
"Ash, why didn't you kiss her?" May asked impatiently.
"…Why should I?"
Everyone gaped at him. "Because you're supposed too that's why!" May glared at him, waiting for his comment.
"Well, I'm going to wait until I'm at least sixteen for that kind of stuff."
May calmed down, mentally slapping herself for acting so weird. "Oh right, because you want to wait for the right time?"
Ash stared blankly at her. "No, because I will be cootie-proof by then."
All of his friends fell in a facefault.
Meanwhile, Ash's old rival, Gary Oak, waltzed inside a store in search for directions. A red flask on the counter caught his attention.
"Well, what do we have here?" Curious, Gary bought the cheap bottle and decided to test it out. When he drank it, a puff of smoke enveloped his body. At the same time, a large group of familiar girls came inside the store and spotted Gary after the effects of the potion. When he saw his new body and the girls, he blanched. "Oh…crap…"
Gary's cries for help were smothered by the screams of the fan girls.
And yet, in the end…no one ever questioned the validity behind the birds and the bees cross-breeding…
Phew! Now with this, I am completely satisfied with the fic. I can now die in peace! (insert lol comment) Really folks, it's great to be back in business, and it's all thanks to my friends, proofreaders, and readers like you who made this happen. There will be more awesome goodness in my other fics, so be sure to check those out as well. I look forward to seeing your responses and reviews to this remake. Enjoy the finale of Small problems, big surprises, bigger chaos!
P.S. No old people or reader's feelings (I hope) were harmed in the making of this chapter revamp.