"You'll never know how much you loved or cared for someone until they are no longer there."

A friend told me this, but I was too stupid to understand what it meant. I laughed at those words, at the time. I never had any friends I really cared about. But on a field of glass, the images made of cathode rays, showed me that no matter the distance, we are still human.

After a party or a kill these people would leave and I would be left with an unplaceable feeling of loss, an unexplainable emptiness in some long forgotten corner of my mind. Then I would remember that they would return tomorrow. Of course they would always come back, time and time again, forever and ever.

That's the sort of thing that you can believe easily, consistently, right up until it isn't true anymore.

To lose a friend is harsh to the heart, a wound that take's forever to heal. Over time it would slowly cease to ache, but it would still be there. It seemed that they would always be on and their time here would be squandered and rarely savored. I would go out of my way to see them, surprise them, the one time I wasn't there, everything changed. I missed their farewell. I missed the goodbyes. I regret that to this day.

Kassi, who brought me this world, introduced me to everyone.

Lageato, who was a gateway into this. Who's friendship stole me from my solitude.

Finally, Kiary. When I was alone, surrounded by the darkness, when I was alone, burning in my loss, it was you. It was you who found me, who lead me back, back into my world, turned back the clock, reversed what I had done. It is you, that I miss the most.

There are five people who I have considered my friends. Now strike three, two left. Out of hundreds, thousands, no, millions, there are two left now. Things are being thrown around in my mind.

"Well forget this." "Who needs them?" "Just quit." "Give up and go home."

But I can't bring myself to it. There is the cursor over the quit icon. A thumb on the "X" button. Then there it came. Reason out of the pit.

"What did they do when the same thing happened to them? What did they do when others around them quit? Did they give up? Did they quit the game as well? Stop pining, stop mourning, stop this nonsense and get back in and go further."

I guess what I'm trying to say now is, if your reading this now or ever, I have this to say.

I cannot say how sorry I am for missing your last words. Goody bye. I wish for you luck and a prosperous life and future. Even if our paths never cross again, you will never be forgotten.

Angelsheart