Well, my favourite day of the year is coming up, so what better way to celebrate than to write an evil fic?

DISCLAIMER: Ra-dammit, just read the disclaimers of one of my other fics…Ways To Annoy Yami Yugi will suffice…no advertising here…dum didum…halo over my head

Yami: I Have A Body?

"Argh! Yugi, wake up!" Yami yelled, sitting bolt upright.

"Hmmmpfh," Yugi murmured, head buried under his sheets.

"I just had a nightmare where I had nobody left in the world!" Yami exclaimed. He stopped, realizing something was amiss. He looked down, expecting to be confined to the Shades of Yugi's mind. However, he seemed to be in the world, with a real, solid body. "No body, geddit?"

"Whatever- just let me use the Dark Magician…mumble…mumble…" Yugi snored as he turned over, already forgetting Yami's first pathetic attempt at a joke.

Yami scratched his head puzzled and glanced at Yugi's alarm. The digital display read 05:34. Well, if he had a body now, then he was damn well going to make the best use of it!

Yami threw the sheets back jovially, and flung the curtains open. A ray of morning sunshine blasted through the window, causing Yugi to emit a high-pitched scream.

"Argh! The light! It burns! Don't let them take the rest of my Life Points!" He buried his face deeper in the sheets, and soon resumed his snoring.

Yami shrugged. Mortals were so strange these days. Now, what was supposed to happen next? Ah yes, the showering ritual. To endorse oneself in water…

Yami grabbed a towel, and headed for the bathroom. He'd never paid much attention to Yugi when he went into this room, after Yugi had screeched about invasion of privacy, so this place was new territory for him.

He assumed that he was supposed to strip naked and stand in the bath tub, whilst being enveloped in a refreshing hot spray. Climbing in, he fiddled with the taps, and soon got the contraption to work.

"Ow, it's hot, hot!" Yami screeched, dropping the showerhead to shield his privates. "Argh! It's alive, alive!" He lamented, as the showerhead began to swerve like a snake and spurted out water. Eyes closed, he managed to get himself tangled with the shower and ended up ripping the shower curtain, and crashed to the floor. It was then he realized how sticky he was, and how much he smelt of Thornton's Tangy Lemon Drops.

"Yugi! Help! Instead of emitting water, the shower has secreted a vile sticky lemony substance! I fear that it does not like me!"

"Oh, that," Yugi murmured, finally waking up. "That was meant to be for me. Tristan warned me that Joey was going to try some bathroom prank on me, the perverted guy! Pfff, unscrew the cap and put a sweet in, one of the oldest in the book!"

Yugi realized something was amiss. "Yami, did you just say you took a shower?" Yugi's eyes widened. "Without me?"-No, this is not as dirty as it sounds, what he means is…well, you know. "Gosh, you really do have your own body!"

Yugi took in the pathetic dripping form wrapped in a towel and laughed evilly.

Yami sighed. This was going to be a long day.


Yugi was lying on his bed, reading an edition of Champion Duellist when Yami re-entered the bedroom, wrapped in another towel, this time not smelling of Thornton's Tangy Lemon Drops.

"Gosh, I have to decide what to wear," Yami murmured, opening Yugi's wardrobe, which consisted of duelling jackets, black shirts and blue trousers.

"Here, Yami, did you know in ancient times a Pharaoh once remarked that 'duelling could be compared to women- it is just as mysterious and deadly, but the rewards are handsome.' The article says the Pharaoh received a slap from his head priest for saying that," Yugi said innocently, holding the page up and jangling it up and down.

"Oh my," Yami murmured preoccupied, "I do believe that was me. I don't remember there being a scribe in the room at the time but-"

"So how did it feel when Kaiba slapped you?" Yugi asked sweetly.

"What!" Yami's head shot out from the wardrobe, just realizing what he'd said. "Gimme that magazine!" Yami dived for the magazine, but too late, did he realize that his towel had slipped, and he ended up crashing into Yugi, the bed, and a ceremonial vase.

"Ow, my head," he grumbled, as the vase slowly rocked from side to side, then ever so slowly fell onto his head, cracking as it hit the hair gel.

Yugi's eyes widened. "Where's your shame, oh Yami?"

Yami looked down. "Eeeep!" He eeped, and darted behind the wardrobe door. "Son of Ra!"

After the red glow faded from Yami's cheeks he selected a set of clothes- a black shirt, a duelling jacket that was slightly longer than the others and a pair of blue trousers. Yugi watched him amusedly as he put on his wristbands and choker, and finally decided to say something after Yami had placed his Millennium Puzzle around his neck.

"By the way Yami, at school, we have a uniform to wear," he piped in, and pointed to a neat pile of clothes that lay folded, on a chair.

Yami sweatdropped.


OK, basically I will be writing chapters about Marik and Bakura as well, so stay tuned! And all reviews appreciated!