Disclaimer: KOR © Matsumoto Izumi/ Shueisha/ Studio Pierrot/ Toho. Ranma ½ © Takahashi Rumiko/ Shogakukan/ Fuji TV/ Kitty Films. This work is not intended for commercial gain or to challenge these copyrights.
Author's Note: Originally written for the Anime Addventure, this is one of my more idiotic exercises in writing. I have reached new lows in trying to cross two series of radically different natures. Please forgive this. I promise I won't do it again.The situation when this story opens is thus: Kyousuke and the gang have been transferred temporarily to Fuurinkan High because of an accidental explosion at Koryou which damaged the school. They're not the only ones seeking refuge at the abode of Ranma and Co.: lots of other anime characters are also there. Perfect for some otherwise impossible situations, right?
Orange Trouble! On The Way To Fuurinkan
July. In the rising heat of a summer morning, under a peaceful, brilliant blue sky, the blossoms were drifting down slowly from the dogwood and pagoda trees lining a certain street in a certain ward of Tokyo named Nerima. It was promising to be a glorious day.
If one had the eyes of a god, and looked down from that sky onto that street, at that time, one would have seen a small bunch of schoolchildren walking along, making their way to school. And if one could hear like a god and listen to what they said, one would understand that they were like all other schoolchildren all over the world. Mostly.
"This is the pits," groused Kyousuke Kasuga, yawning. "I really hate getting up earlier just so we can get to Fuurinkan on time." The high-schooler with the unruly mane of black hair was walking in a middle of a bunch of students recently transferred from the comprehensive school of Koryou Gakuen to Fuurinkan High School.
"You shouldn't complain, onii-chan," said Kurumi Kasuga, walking beside him, looking up at the blooming trees, her brownish eyes gleaming in the light. "Manami-chan and I told you to sleep earlier, but nooo, you just had to stay up and watch that corny movie."
"That's right," agreed Manami Kasuga, walking on her brother's opposite side. She adjusted her large round glasses as she frowned at him. "What did you see in it anyway?"
Kyousuke stopped yawning and cast a condescending glance at his sister with the dark-blue hair. "You wouldn't understand even if I told you. You're too young," he pontificated with remarkable audacity, considering that he was just two years older than her. Privately, he knew he couldn't tell his sisters, not without putting his dignity at risk and letting them cut him down to size with their words. The movie had featured two teenagers falling in love with each other. The male protagonist was an ordinary guy, new to a school, clueless and hesitant, while the the female lead had been a sukeban, beautiful and untouchable. Kyousuke had tried to pick up whatever insights he could from the show, realizing its uncanny parallels to his own situation. He had obtained a few so far, and couldn't wait to try them out once the opportunities presented themselves.
The object of all this painstaking attention on his part was walking by herself way ahead of the rest of the group. Madoka Ayukawa had suggested yesterday, while at work at the ABCB kissaten, that it would be better for all of the Koryou Gakuen students who were currently going to Fuurinkan to get there as a group, for safety and convenience's sake, and to avoid any problems with being late. Kyousuke had enthusiastically agreed with her; any chance to spend more time with Ayukawa was always welcomed by him. They had all met at the train station in Yokuya town, him, his sisters, Madoka, Hikaru, Yuusaku, his hentai friends (or was it fiends?) Komatsu and Hatta, and some other students, and their journey to Nerima had been without incident.
Kyousuke sighed. Well, not really without incident. He had tried to sidle up to Madoka on the train (they were all standing because of the early morning rush that filled the compartment) and inadvertently bumped her posterior as the train ran over some points in the track. He had smiled sheepishly, scratched his head and apologized, but the effort went for naught as the vehicle shook again and he stumbled forward into her, his hands touching her breasts as he tried to break his fall. It was purely accidental, but the way her eyes had flashed at him and the way her voice had growled "Sukebe!" then told Kyousuke that she was probably not going to forgive him any time soon. He was lucky to have escaped without her giving him one of her devastating 'three-in-one' slaps. That little set-to was why she was walking apart from him and the rest of the group.
"Darling!" The happy shout served to rouse him from his gloomy reminiscences and warned him to prepare to be-
Glomp! Hikaru Hiyama leapt and tackled him from behind, her arms going round his neck and squeezing him in an embrace that put him perilously close to oxygen starvation.
"Darling!" she shouted again in her high voice, not minding the fact that Kyousuke's eardrums were less than a foot away from her mouth. "I'm so happy to be walking with you under the flowering trees!"
"Ahahah..." For want of anything else to say, Kyousuke replied, "I'm happy to be with you too." Kurumi giggled at the couple, but Manami looked in Ayukawa-sempai's direction and hoped this wasn't going to exacerbate her brother's standing with the kimagure bad girl.
"Nee, Darling," said Hikaru, "shall we eat together at lunchtime? I made a special box lunch for you today. Hmm, you look a bit flustered. That's okay, my obento will perk you up! Guaranteed!"
"Okay, Hikaru-chan," said Kyousuke, not wishing to hurt her feelings and set off a flood of tears so early in the day. "Let's meet at the front door later?"
Hikaru nodded and slid off him. "Ya-ho! I'll see you later then, Darling!" With a gay wave, she left them and dashed up to best friend Madoka.
Kyousuke watched her go, her skirt billowing as she ran, and sighed in relief. Madoka hadn't glanced his way. He was thinking of the possible consequences had she done so, and so was startled to hear a voice at his left shoulder.
"I watched as the embodiment of my eternal summer ran, her golden hair shining in the morning sunlight," it mock-quoted. "I knew she'd make a fine wife someday." Curly-haired, freckle-faced Seiji Komatsu had seen the whole thing and walked up behind Kyousuke, wanting to tease him about it.
A piece of black illustration board with a rectangle cut out in the middle suddenly popped up on Kyousuke's right. The chubby, eyeglass-wearing face of Kazuya Hatta appeared in it. "Kasuga Kyousuke," he intoned. "Sixteen years old, living in the springtime of my youth."
"Knock it off, you two!" Kyousuke said as his sisters laughed. "Don't ruin my morning!"
"Ruin your morning!" Komatsu exclaimed. "Kasuga, you dog! You've just had your wife clinging all over you! How could we"
"poor, pitiful souls" Hatta interjected expertly.
"possibly ruin your morning?"
"Come on, onii-tama," Komatsu said, putting an overly friendly arm on Kyousuke's shoulder, "tell us your secret. What do you do that makes you so irresistible to women?"
Kyousuke looked at him, then at Kurumi and Manami. "Well, if you must know..."
"I respect them and flatter them, and I don't go around trying to cop a feel or take pictures of their underwear, or ask them for their three sizes. Oh, yeah, and I give them gifts when necessary." He covertly winked at his sisters.
Komatsu's face showed his disgust. "Che! You're such a spoilsport, Kasuga."
Hatta immediately took Kyousuke's advice, however, and went to amble by Kurumi's side. "Kurumi-chan, you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen," he gushed.
Kurumi, who had heard her brother, snorted. "Yeah, right."
"No, really, I mean it. Why, they look as tasty as the gyouza my mother made last night ..."
A sudden red blur leaping through the sky in front of them interrupted Hatta's enthusiastic, if inexpert, wooing. The gang from Koryou watched as another white streak quickly followed the red one.
"Ranma!" a voice shouted through the air. "You shall pay for what you did to my Shampoo!"
Manami frowned. "'What you did to my shampoo?' Boy, the people here are really strange, aren't they, onii-chan? Just a bottle of shampoo, and they're ready to kill each other over it."
Kyousuke chuckled. "I don't think that's what he meant, Manami-chan."
"Well, I find the folks here really refreshing." It was Yuusaku Hino, Hikaru's erstwhile suitor and Kyousuke's self-assigned rival. The brown-haired boy was walking by Manami's side. "They're all incredible martial artists, and that Ranma is way more macho than some guys I know." He smirked and sent a malicious glance at Kyousuke, who, irritated at his kouhai insolence, returned the favor.
"Why is Ayukawa walking so far ahead of the rest of us?" asked Hatta.
Komatsu sniffed. "That delinquent! She probably thinks she's too good for us, so she's trying to stay as far away as she can."
Kyousuke opened his mouth to protest, but Manami cut him off with "Tanabata is coming along, onii-chan."
"So?" he asked, confused by the abrupt change in topic.
"So, you might want to think about how you can repair relations with someone." Manami gave him a conspiratorial wink. "You were talking about giving gifts a while ago. Women love gifts. Especially ones given on a romantic occasion."
"Yeah!" Kurumi seconded, running a hand through her shoulder-length brown hair. "Only, knowing onii-chan, he'll probably be trying to decide on what to give until Hell freezes over."
"Gifts, eh?" Komatsu rubbed his hands avidly.
"Hey, what are you thinking?" Kyousuke didn't like the look on his friend's face.
"Oh, nothing, nothing."
There was an almighty crash some distance away in front of them, and a cloud of gray smoke appeared in the middle of the road. As it dissipated, the group from Koryou saw a figure sitting in it, dusting itself off.
"Kuonji-san!" shouted Kyousuke as they came near enough to tell who it was. The long-haired girl looked slightly battered, and had a bloody gash in her forearm.
"Ah, the spatula girl!" Hatta exclaimed. He and Komatsu suddenly developed superhuman speed and rushed up the the road to her side, passing by the astonished Madoka and Hikaru in the process.
"Are you alright?" asked Komatsu, leering at her as he assisted her to her feet. "Can we do anything to help you?"
Before Ukyou Kuonji could reply, however, a black ribbon streaked through the sky and wrapped itself around her left leg. She was tossed into the air in Kyousuke's direction like a rag doll, and a uniquely maniacal laugh echoed throughout the neighborhood.
Kyousuke watched Ukyou flying towards him and positioned himself to catch her. As she neared him, the morning sunlight seemed to delicately play off her features: it shone off her long black hair, streaming in the wind; it highlighted the curves of her thighs and legs, hidden beneath fitting black tights; it outlined the gentle swell of her chest beneath its dark-blue cloth and bindings; and it emphasized her large, shining dark eyes as her gaze met his.
Kyousuke gulped and looked away in another direction. Unfortunately, it was straight into the eyes of Madoka. For a fleeting moment he saw that she knew what he was thinking, and that she had a hurt expression on her face. He was ashamed at himself for thinking no better than Komatsu or Hatta would have, but just as he opened his mouth to ask for forgiveness, Ukyou slammed into him and sent both of them sprawling onto the pavement.
The world exploded in a welter of pain. Kyousuke blacked out for a moment before regaining consciousness and hearing Manami's frantic "Onii-chan! Are you alright?"
"I've been better," he groaned in reply. "Just stop the world from spinning, please."
At the front of the group, Komatsu and Hatta looked up to see a girl in a dark leotard standing proudly on the roof of a nearby house. She held a gymnast's ribbon in one hand, expertly twirling it as she addressed her opponent and the audience around them both.
"See the power of Kodachi the Black Rose," she proclaimed, laughing again. "You should give up, Ukyou Kuonji. I shall never concede Ranma to one as plebian as you."
"Never!" Ukyou cried as she sat up on top of the prostrate Kyousuke. She looked down apologetically at him. "Sorry about that, Kasuga-kun."
"Oh, that's okay," Kyousuke replied weakly as he tried to blink the stars away from his eyes. "I just adore being a cushion for falling female martial artists." He felt the lovely softness of her bottom move against his flesh as she got off his chest. Wonderful, he thought drunkenly, still half-stunned by his impact on the pavement. I wonder if Ayukawa's butt feels just as soft... what are you thinking, Kyousuke Kasuga? Baka, baka, baka!
Manami and Kurumi helped him up. He watched as the Black Rose drew her arm back and lashed out with her ribbon again at Ukyou. Before it could hit his new classmate, however, it was cut in twain by something small, white and sharp zipping through the air.
"What the" Kodachi sputtered as she clutched the handle of her suddenly-shortened weapon, watching as pieces of it fluttered to the ground like her eponymous rose petals.
"You should get out of our way," said a voice familiar to Kyousuke. "You're making us late for school." He looked to see Madoka, standing in the middle of the street with her legs apart in a ready stance, holding one of her guitar picks in the fingers of a hand. Beside her, Hikaru had already dumped her bag on the ground and was also adopting a ready stance, clenching her fists, waiting to assist her friend.
Manami looked worriedly at her brother. "Onii-chan..."