Disclaimer: JK own all characters, except Eva, Caroline and Louise. I do not make any profit from using JK's characters or world, this is purely entertainment.
A humourous one-shot about what happens when the author inserts herself and her two best buds into the Magical Community. No one can feel sane.
Not many people becomes best friends at their first meeting, but for Eva, Caroline and Louise, there's an exception. The three girls met in the Hogwarts train on its way to Hogwarts. It was their first year for them all, and they knew so little about the magical world, they were muggleborn. Not many magical children are muggleborn, so the few who exist are to learn a great deal. In spite the alternative looks and the mysterious attitude, not to mention evil and weird personalities, they were all selected to be in Gryffindor. The three girls stood out from the crowd. At their first, real, dinner they wore muggle clothes. That excited not many, but at least they had something to talk about instead of that boy with the glasses.
The first weekend:
"Professor Snape is really cute, don't you think so too?" Caroline said with a soft voice. Eva and Louise looked up from their pile of homework. "I mean, he's really… mysterious and… sexy?"
"Merlin's fungus-covered arse! Gosh! I could kick him in the balls! He gave me so much homework!" Eva complained and indicated to a larger pile of homework next to her.
"Stop it, you could have read in the train or at home, we did, and I'm sure we're not the only ones who had gotten that clever idea to open the books before getting here," Louise informed coolly.
"I reckon that the home-cooking teachers are so cute!" Eva and Louise rolled their eyes at her. Caroline was the type of girl who liked any guy, yet, and she had never been kissed.
"What home-cooking teachers? We don't have home-cooking" Louise scanned her schedule for home cooking classes.
"Oh…" Caroline scanned her schedule, too, "yes, you're right, but I'm sure that had home-cooking today!"
"You can't have had home-cooking, Caroline, there areno home-cooking classes, they teach you magic here" Eva informed and finished the conversation by raising her eyebrow and make that I-know-I'm-right-so-don't-even-begin-a-discussion-about-it face when Caroline was about to object.
Eva, Caroline and Louise left the Gryffindor tower to go for a walk. They got to the fourth floor, how they got there, they didn't know.
"Can you hear something? I know I can," Eva said and they all stopped and listened. Before they new it, a dark voice was heard behind them.
"What are you three doing up here?"
"ARG! DON'T HIT ME!" Eva cried out and fell to the floor as if in she was in pain.
"Ohh, hullo prof. Snape," Caroline smiled and giggled; red spots appeared on her cheeks.
"I asked you a…" Snape looked at Eva who still lay on the cold stone floor "– question… Will you get up? Otherwise I'll have to punish you," Eva got up quickly.
"Don't mind you punishing me," Caroline said in a seductive tone. Her eyes were intense and her tongue moistured her lips. "I've been a bad girl."
"WHAT!" Snape screeched in horror and he moved away from Caroline, looking quite frightened and shocked.
"Come on, dance with me!" Caroline grabbed Snapes unwilling hands and moved him around. Snape moved her hands, which was heading for his personal collection. He stepped away from her. "Stop," Caroline said breathlessly. He stopped to look at her. His eyes were no longer filled with hate, but a sudden fear had enrolled. His hopes for what just had happened before had just been a joke or better, a sudden symptom in a rare illness of hers. It made him stop and turn around to front her. She started to sing. "I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words, how wonderful life is, now you're in the world." Caroline sang. Snape stood stiff looking at Caroline, her eyes were glancing and a smile was on its way, before anyone new it, she had jumped out the window and climbed up on the rooftop, somewhere above you could hear a fresh voice crying out something "COME WHAT MAY! COME WHAT MAY! I WILL LOVE YOU! UNTIL THE END OF TIME!" Back stood Eva, Louise and Snape. Snape, who looked like he was on the edge of vomiting showed, sign of extreme nervousness.
"So… You don't have a small black leather piece written 'biscuit' all over it, do you?" Eva gazed at him hungrily while moving against him.
"That's enough!" Snape yelled, horrified. Eva stopped, she looked surprised at him. Snape tried to express his opinion, but all that got out was a lot of spit and nonexistent words
"Professor Snape, I'm really sorry, come on, I'll take you away from all of this madness" Louise padded him gently and took his hands so she could follow him to his office. She opened the door and followed him over to his chair. "Just remember me for this, I'm here for you. I fell that you are suppressing something, and if you want to talk about it, I'm here," She informed him. Her voice was deep and calm "I don't judge people fast, I know that you are, deep inside, a really good person. You just have to get to know you first. So, how about some tea someday and we can really discuss the matters of you life?" She suggested and gave him a quick hug before turning to the door, before leaving his office she said: "Now, sleep," and then she left him.
Louise met Eva and Caroline on the fourth floor, Caroline was practising her steps in Irish folk dance and Eva was sitting on a chair nearby watching and playing Shag the Hag © with herself.
"How is he? I don't know why he freaked out like that, I mean, all I did was ask him if he had seen my leather piece" Eva made a small noise of dismay. "He's a bit dodgy, isn't he?" She looked at Caroline, who had stopped dancing.
"Personal problems. He must have had a horrible childhood. He hides his sorrows. We'll release it when he's ready," Louise made a knowingly nod while pressing her lips together as if she meant that it wouldn't be too long before he'd crack.
"Ohh no! Not my little bunny, he'll be okay after it, will he not!" Caroline worried herself. Her hands dangled as she started to run around herself in circles.
"I don't know. Only time will tell, my dear, Time will tell." Louise said sadly.
The end. Oh well, know this wasn't a particular pairing and with OC, but I hope you liked it.