Title: Is it Worth it to Stay?

Rating: PG

Pairing: B/R and mentions of B/A

Summary: Riley contemplates love, Shanshu, and where Buffy's heart truly lies.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, if I did B/A would have gotten a happily ever after. The song lyrics are Kelly Clarkson's "Where is Your Heart?"

A/N: Every time I listen to my cd and hear this song I think it would go perfectly with either a Buffy or Gilmore Girls fic from Riley or Dean's POV. This isn't how I pictured the fic going so the song my not really mesh well with it, but oh well. Please R/R. Don't be too harsh with criticism though. I hope you enjoy the fic, it's only my second Buffy one.

ooooooooo

Where is your heart?

'Cause I don't really feel you

Where is your heart?

What I really need is to believe you

Is it so hard

To give me what I need?

I want your heart to bleed

That's all I'm asking for

I often find myself asking, "Is it worth it to stay?" A couple of months ago I could have wholeheartedly agreed that yes, it is worth it to stay. But now, I'm not so sure.

I used to think she actually loved me. That turned out to be wistful thinking. I eventually thought I could love her enough for the both of us, that maybe in time she'd forget her vampire lover and move on.

I know she wants to love me, that much is clear. I can't blame her for not loving me. After all, she was the one who said you can't help who you fall in love with, and she was right. But that doesn't keep me from wishing that she could.

Her heart isn't in it, though.

I know that you're true to me

You're always there

You say you care

I know that you want to be mine

Sometimes, I think I should just be thankful that I have her. She's not leaving me, she's committed to our relationship fully. For now.

I know she's waiting for the day that all her dreams and fantasies come true, the same day my whole world will come crashing down.

Angel's Shanshu.

I've been awaiting this day for months now, and the unbearable heartache that will undoubtedly come with it. Every now and then, in a moment of weakness, I allow myself to dream about the possibility that she won't leave me.

But then I remember how she whispers 'Angel' in her sleep at night, or how she barely lets me kiss her on her birthday. And whenever I see the ring on her left ring finger, facing in, I know all my dreams have been in vain. The scar on her neck, the one she cherishes, is a constant reminder of the man before me. The one who claimed her as his mate. The one who she gave her heart to willingly, who never gave it back.

So, I ask again, "Is it worth it to stay?"

Where is your heart?

'Cause I don't really feel you

Where is your heart?

What I really need is to believe you

Is it so hard

To give me what I need?

I want your heart to bleed

That's all I'm asking for

Ooooooooo

A/N2: Thanks for reading, I hoped you enjoyed. Sorry for the shortness. All feedback is very much appreciated. (hint, hint, wink, wink, nudge, nudge)