Here it is, what if my fic, 'The Men From Hell', was made into a movie, what kind of mayhem and wild antics would ensue?

The cast of

Nasserudin Shah as Captain Nemo aka Prince Dakkar Jason Flemyng as Dr. Henry JekyllEdward Hyde Peta Wilson as Wilhamina 'Mina' Murray Tony Curran as Rodney Skinner (The Invisible Man)
Shane West as Tom Sawyer Mark Addy as Col. Campion Bond

and a special appearance by Michael Cain as Frederick Abberline

Chapter I : Prologue:

The constables close in on Jekyll, in a desperate attempt at escape he throws a punch at one of them, and let's loose a kick to an others groin...


Flemyng is embarrassed, and awkwardly tries to sneak out as the other actors snicker, and the director yells "CUT!" and orders an assistant to fetch some ice.

Chapter II : Suspect Jekyll:

The League arrives at London harbor, Skinner makes a crack about being back home, infuriating Sawyer to say, "I don't get it, bad boos, worst weather, twisted killers, the only sport is soccer, why do people still live here?"

Curran steps out of character, and says, "What did you say"
Shane steps out of character as well, chuckles and says, "I was just kidding, what is it with soccer anyway? How can a sport not require the use of hand?"

Curran is offended, and yells, "Soccer requires a great deal of talent, intelligence and coordination, any half witted monkey can put on 50 pounds of protection and run around with a ball"
West is offended, they start to exchange words, the director yells "CUT!" several times, to no avail, Nasserudin Shah comes in to cool the air, and says, "You know what sport I find engaging, Cricket."

"Don't get me started on that nascence!" says West.
"It beat's the HELL OUT OF BASEBALL!"

A brawl brakes out, the crew, Flemyng, the stuntmen all trade punches, the director barks obscenities and storms off as security rushes in, soon followed by the cops, Peta Wilson watches as the crew and cast are taken away, and mumbles, "Sport-fanatic dumb-arses!"

Filming was postponed for two weeks till all cooled down, everyone contract was altered to include a new clause stating that the discussion of sports is a no-no, punished by less screen time and pay cuts.

Sawyer interviews the Constables who arrested Jekyll, asking what went down during the fight, Constable Lumper says, "Constable Garret got kicked in the pims! We had to carry him home!"

Everyone recalls Flemyng's kick and start to snicker, infuriating the director.

Chapter III : The Royal Conspiracy:

Nemo walked threw the empty church early at dawn, and made his way to the confession booth, where he sat down and waited till he heard someone come in and speak to him, saying, "When was your last confession"
"Hold on for a minute." say's Shah as he gets out, and talks to the director, "This doesn't make sense"
"What? The Invisible men or the Kennedy Assassination?" asks the director impatiently.

"My character is proud Seikh, and a bit of a xenophobe, in the early 20th century, wouldn't he think that entering a church is beneath him"
"Well, do you think so"
"I don't but my characters might"
"Let's say that you do"
"You mean my character does"
"Yes, Whatever"
"But I don't think so." says shah, and then calls out, "Flemyng, do you think I'm right?"

Flemyng is too concentrated in playing a video game that he doesn't really hear the question, and says, "You absolutely right!"

The director is about to explode, but he contains himself and says, "Tell you what, do it my way and you'll have your name first on the credits"
"But doesn't Flemyng have first billing"
"He doesn't mind, do you?" asked the director impatiently.
"You're absolutely right!" says Flemyng, who is still deeply amerced in his video game.
"Great," says the director, "Let's take it from the top."

The scene is re-shot, and as Shah enters the booth, the window slides open to reveal the actor playing Abberline, Michael Cain, who says, "By the way, you're absolutely right"
"Thank you, Mr. Cain, enjoy your cameo."

As Cain and Shah Carrie out their dialogue, Flemng is still outside, and he raises his hands in triumph, "A New High Score, yepi!"

He looks to his left, and sees Peta staring at him with mild contempt, "What? What did I do?" asks Flemyng.
"You gave up First Billing." she answers.
"What? When?"

Peta rolls her eyes and walks away, muttering, "Dumb-Arse!"