Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings.
WARNING! My sister collapsed laughing after a few lines, which prompted me to warn people not to eat or drink while reading this.
Summary: I originally thought this up for a review for Camillia Sandman's 'Official Fanfiction University of Middle- Earth, but then decided that it might make a fairly decent fanfic in it's own right if I expanded slightly. So, Poems written to Mock Bad Writing.
Part One - Lord of the Rings.
When faced with those who lust for an elf,
Point them to the 'Action Figure' shelf.
With those obsessed with Darkest Doom,
Point to Sauron/Morgorth and say "Get a Room."
If maids are entranced by warriors bold,
Point out that they seldom live to get old.
For those who hunger after 'Durin's Bane',
Seek out a house for the clinically insane.
For those who pine after Minions of Evil,
Say "Inter-species unions are rarely legal".
With those who seek Hobbits and a private room,
There are several ways to poison a mushroom.
When girls wish Dwarves to serve their pleasure,
Remind them that Dragons come with Treasure.
With these actions you may yet avoid,
Fanfiction writers who should be destroyed.
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A/N - So, what do people think?
I am going to do the same for a couple of other things in this fandom, so tell me if you have any specific requests. I'll do my best.
Review and tell me what you think.
Thanks, Nathalia.