A/N: Just a bit of silliness that took a completely different direction than I originally intended, but eh, any way the wind blows… This is a ONE SHOT, by the way, although the idea of 'old-married-couple' Shinichi and Ran is fairly amusing and I might utilize it in the future. Who knows?
Disclaimer: Would you like a cookie? Nope, not mine.
"This," Shinichi sighed, finally able to conclude an argument that had been ongoing for years now, "this is why I refuse to settle down and enjoy a 'normal' lifestyle Ran." His wife rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath, but didn't contradict him. For once. Shinichi couldn't help but grin.
Really it wasn't a situation that called for grinning, smiling, or even thinking about smiling. The two were currently bound to (very uncomfortable) chairs by thick, tightly knotted ropes in a small, darkened room deep underground of some sort of warehouse. Wandering around elsewhere was a young man who had proclaimed (rather maniacally) his intentions of murdering the both of them before the day was out.
"But come on…" Ran said suddenly, "what are the chances that something like this would happen? One out of five million? You really could have spent some more time relaxing…"
Shinichi snorted. "I'm in a dangerous business. 'Relaxing', as you put it so easily, could cost me my life at one point or another."
"You're getting far too old for this business, anyway," Ran pointed out as if this was the most logical path for the conversation to take, "Why don't you retire and let some other upstart detective prodigy have a little spotlight, hmm?"
"Sixty isn't old!" the man defended himself sharply. "And my mind's as keen as ever!"
"You were sixty-one, last time I checked," Ran countered, "and if you can't remember your own age then you must be getting senile."
"Well considering that my mind is currently our livelihood you'd better hope not!" Shinichi snapped.
The banter was familiar and enjoyable for the both of them. Hearing it no one would think their lives were currently in peril. Neither of them seemed too concerned with the present situation.
Ran groaned and tried shifting in the seat. "This is tied so tightly around my wrists… I can't even feel my fingers anymore. When are you going to get us out of here, Shinichi?"
Her husband's eyes darted toward the door, which was left slightly ajar and allowed a thin line of light to escape in from the outside corridor. No sounds could be heard in the vicinity.
"Well," he began, "I figure that there's just the one guy, and judging by his age and fierce loyalty to an organization he is way too young to have been a part of, no doubt he is the offspring of some one who was deeply involved in the Black Organization. Gin or Vodka would be ironic, but he didn't seem to carry either of their physical traits…"
"Not that your memory is all that great anymore…" Ran muttered.
Shinichi shot her a glare. "Those are two faces I won't ever forget, believe me. Anyway, he's got two others helping him, but considering how they weren't completely insane about it, I'm going to assume their just following his lead…"
"Shinichi," Ran cut in, "This is all very interesting, but I don't really care about the family history of our kidnappers. I just want to get out of here, preferably in time to catch my soap at seven…"
"The point I'm trying to make," Shinichi continued, "is that since he seems so intent on 'avenging' the Black Organization (apparently on his own, with only those two other goons) and not reuniting or re-establishing it or anything, there's probably just the three of them all together."
Ran blinked. "And?"
"And we could so take them." He concluded.
His wife's eyes bugged out. "Shinichi Kudo, they have guns and who knows what else? We will not do anything foolish! You are going to get us out of here, and then we are going to call the police and let them deal with it! OKAY?"
Shinichi cowered slightly, reminding himself repeatedly that she couldn't harm him tied to a chair as she was.
"Okay," he said weakly before regaining his composure. "I mean, yes, that's an excellent plan, Ran. Very good plan, if I do say so myself…"
Ran closed her eyes and sighed. "But…?"
"Well you see…" he replied, laughing nervously, "I don't think I can get us out of here."
"Nope," Shinichi said genially, "I haven't a single gadget on me that could help us in this situation."
Sudden footsteps could be heard down the hall as an all-too enthusiastic voice cried, "UNTIE THEM AND BRING THEM TO ME!"
"There now," Shinichi told her, "that takes care of these ropes."
Ran was holding herself very still, her eyes closed. She looked rather old when she did that, Shinichi mused, but of course he would never tell her that at the risk of getting some serious bruises. But the eyes that opened a few seconds later were bursting with energy and determination, and she appeared quite youthful once more.
"Sure there's only the three?" she asked, a wry smile spreading across her face.
"Oh yes, quite sure," Shinichi affirmed, grinning back.
The door swung all the way open.
"All right then, bring it on. And you'd better consider retiring if we get out of this alive, Shinichi Kudo, or some one besides these losersis going to face a serious beating!"