Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I have recently discovered the wonders of Full Metal Alchemist. R/R and see if you like it.
I'm a curious girl, always have been. I guess that's why I like mechanics so much. I like to see how things work, what makes them tick inside. I like to just take things apart to see how they work and then put them back together again good as new. Well, almost as good as new. Sometimes I get in trouble because I can't put things back the way they were before.
I sigh a little as I look around the workshop. It's lonely in here sometimes. I mean, all I have for company are bits and pieces of machines, random collections of junk. It's a lonely life being a mechanic. I guess that's the downside to me loving machines so much. I'm sure if Ed was around he'd babble something about equivalent exchange or something like that. I sigh a little again and realize that I wish he was around although it's for different reasons than to listen to him lecture me about alchemy.
My eyes glance nervously around the workshop. I don't expect anyone to be around but still I'd feel so stupid if someone caught me doing what I want to do. But, of course, no one is around. I pull open a drawer on my workbench and rummage around. I smile as I rifle through the tools and pull out the picture in the drawer. I stare at the picture fondly. The faces of the Elric brothers stare back at me and smile. I stare at the picture and feel a little tear slide down my cheek. I miss both of them so much but I miss Ed most of all. We grew up together, after all. They were my brothers too. It hurts that they left, left like my parents who never came back. They're the only family I have besides my grandmother.
I catch myself staring at Ed's image. I remember that smile, that mischievous, impish grin he'd get before doing something reckless and stupid. I realize now how much I miss seeing that grin. I realize now how much I miss staring into his amber-colored eyes. It's not the same anymore. His eyes are so different now, so full of pain and sadness. I remember the night Al came to our house carrying him in his arms, bloody stumps and all. I was so scared he was going to die, more scared that I've ever been in my life. I'm still scared, I guess. Still scared that he'll do something reckless and stupid and die on me before I get the chance to tell him that I love him.
I do love him. I used to just blow off the feelings I had for him. I'm not your average type of girl, after all. I'm a grease monkey, a machine freak who loves playing with her tools all day. Would you wanna date a girl like that? A girl who wears oil and grease instead of makeup and dirty coveralls instead of a dress? Chances are you probably wouldn't. So I ignored my feelings for Ed because I figured he could never love me back. But all that changed the night they showed up in the rain, the night that broke our fragile existences for good.
It makes me angry when I think about it. I can repair anything and everything. I can patch up his automail with no problems at all. Why can't I fix the pain inside him? Why can't I patch up the huge hole in his heart? I stare at my workbench and the cluttered assortment of tools on it, all of them useless when it comes to fixing a damaged soul. I want to fix him with all my heart. I wish he'd see that, see that I can be more than just his mechanic and that I can repair more than just his automail. I untie the bandana around my head and dry my eyes as I put the picture back in the drawer. I'll wait for him, what for the little shrimp to come back. It's all I can do, really. So I'll wait for him and when he comes home I'll repair more than just his automail. I'll finally repair the brokenness inside him too.