I am going to die today, I know it. I just know it. I am not playing any April Fools Day pranks, because, please I am ssssooo above that, it's like Vamps/Demons and Halloween, it's a day for the posers. Which means, that I know they're all out to get me. I just know it. All year, I do stuff to them, and I am good at it...very good, and today is the day they are planning revenge. Every time I go in a room, the talking stops. Hah, Fred just offered me brownies, but I won't eat them. I know she put something in them, most likely ex-lax, since that's amateur prank. Yeah right. I grabbed the brownies and threw em' in the trash. I know she's been wanting revenge for changing all the labels in the science lab last month, hehehehe, they still haven't straightened everything out. I am leaving her place now.
I must be very careful, I wouldn't be surprised if someone gave me the old Silly-String ambush. Oh no, is that Spike I hear down the hall? Crap. He's the one I actually need to look out for. Well, I am sure Doyle could be a problem, but not like Spike. No, Spike is good. He's gotten me before on non-prank holidays, and add in my little bleach kit/blue hair dye, switch I recently did; I'm toast. "Hey, Sarai," he says approaching me, "what you doing now?"
"Ah...nothing," I say.
"I wanna go see Sin City, you wanna come? My treat," he offers. Yeah, right, I am not that stupid. He'll probably drive me to San Francisco, kick me outta the car and drive away. Or the car will explode, or the popcorn will be laced with something.
"Thanks for the offer, but I'm tired, I think I'm going up to the penthouse," I tell him. Haha. Looks like he won't get me.
"Okay, suit yourself," he replies as he walks away. I will suit myself.
So, now I am going to the penthouse, but sadly, I need to take the stairs all the way up there. I saw Faith by the elevator, meaning she'll offer to come and hang with me, we'd get in the elevator, and the thing would go crazy, and I'd start to freak...just like I did to her once. Stupid stairs, there's no many of them. But, at least none of the lawyers I encounter on the stairs, that I sometimes stalk and harass, pushed me down. So that's a plus. However, they did give me looks...looks that said 'we don't need to get you, because someone else is and it'll be bigger and better than what I can do'. I didn't like that. It was creepy. Highly creepy.
YAY. I made it upstairs safely. Aw, no. Dad's home...with Wesley. This is it. If anyone has reason to get me today, it's these two. Especially Wesley. I do so much to him, I don't even remember what the last thing was, I am pretty sure it was yesterday when I replaced all the research books in the building with coloring books, but I have a feeling I did something else too and I just can't think of it. And I know daddy didn't like it when I replace the beloved hair gel with jelly recently.
"Hello Sarai," Wesley great, condescendingly.
"Hungry, princess?" Dad asks holding a plate of my favorite foods. Losers. Don't they realize Fred tried to get me with this already? Still there is no way I am staying here alone with them. I turn around and leave.
Successfully, I get to daddy's office without problems. It's boring in here though, so I am going on the computer. There is an e-mail from Willow. I bet if I open it, somehow, my computer will get a virus and everything will be erased. I know I'm using Dad's comp, but this is Willow we're talking about, she can pull this off. So I am signing off line. Harmony, Cordelia and Dawn enter wanting to go shopping, I don't trust them for the same reasons I didn't go to the movies with Spike. I guess maybe claiming that Willow was shipping them drugs to sell wasn't the best idea...well, okay, it was a great idea, just as long as you subtract the payback.
They leave the office. Doyle, Lorne and Gunn enter, Gunn is holding a box. "Hey, Sarai, guess what, we were out before and we saw something that you might like," Doyle tells me. Yeah right, if I open that box something will like attack me, or pop out. I grab the box from Gunn, open a window, and throw the box out. I thought Doyle would be more cleaver. Maybe I'm just better than I thought. I wouldn't be surprised. I guess Lorne and Doyle really didn't like being set up on a blind date with each other on Saturday. And Gunn, well...it's not I meant for his car to explode. Things just got out of hand.
Wow, the day is almost over. It is 11:58 pm, and nothing bad has happened. I am alone in the living room, no one is home, so I really outsmarted them all. YAY me! Idiot them! Aw, crap. Of course I spoke too soon. The door just opened and now Daddy, Dawn, Cordy, Spike, Lorne, Gunn, Fred, Wes, Harm, Faith and Doyle. Shit. They're not out to pull a practical joke, they're going to kill me! Why is dad smiling? Why are they all smiling? They're the good guys, they shouldn't enjoy murdering me!
"Happy April Fools Day, Sarai," Wesley says. Huh?
"Huh?" I question.
"You hear the git, Happy April Fools day. We hope you had fun going insane," Spike explains. Again, huh?
"We knew no matter what we did to you, you'd be expecting it, so we didn't do anything," Faith tells me.
"Well, except watch you freak all day," Dawn adds.
"How'd that go for you?" Gunn asks.
"So...nothing was a set-up? What about the brownies?"
"They were clean. There was nothing in them. You threw away perfectly good chocolate," Fred tells me. CRAP!
"I was going to really take you to the movies. Lorne had gotten me a bunch of free passes not to long ago. It was a pretty good movie, by the way," Spike says. Shit! Free movie passed up! Damn me!
"And these were in the box," Gunn just told me. He now hands me the remains of what appears to be season 9 of Friends on DVD. Oh, this really sucks!
"No, no," I insist, "this is crap, you all are planning something. All those stupid little lawyers and everyone else that works here all looked at me, like they were in on a master plan against me!"
"That's because they were. I gave them all a spring bonus if they acted like they knew we were got to get you...and we were. This was it," Dad tells me. Oh hell no! He's looking at me with that 'smug asshole' look he sometimes has. I can't believe this! This is horrible!
"Do people have any idea what I went through today!" I scream. They're laughing! They're laughing a lot!
"Yes," Faith answered, "that was the point. We knew the best prank would be to just let you self destruct and screw yourself over."
"So, there, now you know. It's over," Cordy declares. I am ssssoooo pissed! That's it, now that I know I am safe, I am going in my room. I haven't been in there all day because I thought it was booby-trapped. So, here I go, storming off to my room. I am going through the door and...shit! Why is it I am standing in the doorway with a bucket of... hair gel dumped on me? Oh that's right, the door was rigged!
they are laughing once again, especially dad. "Consider it a special gift from me to you," he says. "Maybe that'll teach you a lesson about the jokes."
Yeah right! "why do you say that? Just because you used about five percent of your personal collection on me?" I reply. Yeah, the laughing is continuing. Enjoy it from the rest of the thirty-seconds of today. Because for the next 364 days, your ass's are all mine! Mwahaha!
A/n: I hope you enjoyed it. Happy April Fools day! (One day late)Please review. :)