Disclaimer: I own NOTHING Titanic related. All the fictional characters from the film BELONG to James Cameron and everything else associated with the film. James Cameron is a pure genious for having created such a fantastic film. Anyway, enjoy the chapter! :-)
A Deep Ocean of Secrets
April, 15, 1912
The glimmering stars had been the only distraction Rose had as she laid on a piece of driftwood, clutching onto her love's hand. Her heartbeat began to weaken against the bitter cold but she remained strong, for Jack's sake. Jack. Just the mere thought of him caused for her heart to flutter helplessly. Though she barely knew him, she knew she was madly in love with him. No one had ever dared to show her how much they cared, like Jack did. He made her feel complete, unlike her ex-fiancé, who did nothing but make her feel like a trophy wife.
Tears welled up in her eyes as she thought of all that happened just hours ago. She took in a deep breath and attempted to suppress the horrid images that plagued her mind, if only for a while. She knew that the tragic events would continuously haunt her throughout the duration of her life, but she just wanted a brief moment to herself; just one moment to forget where she was and drift off into a world where she felt peace and warmth. Her eyes gazed up at the velvet night sky as she softly began to sing the song that brought joy to her soul.
"Come Josephine, in my flying machine," her voice was barely above a whisper and despite this, she continued. "And it's up she goes, up she goes." She appeared feeble, yet her grip on Jack's hand remained strong. She began to feel doubtful that a boat would come back for the survivors but even so, she was determined to survive. "Come Josephine in my flying —"
Suddenly, from a distance, she heard an echoing voice. For a brief moment, she thought it had been her imagination but soon after, she heard the voice loud and clear.
"Is there anyone alive out there?" a man shouted. "Can anyone hear me?"
She felt a beaming light shine on the side of her face, coaxing her to turn her head to the right where she noticed a silhouette of a lifeboat. A weak smile came upon her face as she softly rubbed her hand against Jack's forearm.
"Jack," she called out in a whisper as she turned to face him. "Jack," her smile grew slightly wider while she gently shook his handcuffed wrist.
She noticed that there were tiny crusts of ice formed from underneath his eyes and nose. His lips were a light shade of blue and his face appeared calm and peaceful — as if he were asleep. She thought nothing of it.
"Jack," she softly whispered again, shaking his arm a bit harder. "There's a boat!"
The sound of happiness had been hinted in her voice as she realized that he had been right the entire time; a boat did come back for them after all.
"Jack," Rose whispered a bit louder, the curve of her smile fading away upon noticing that he had not responded to either one of her calls. Her heart began to sink while a lump began to form at the end of her throat. "Jack?"
She gripped onto his arm and shook him as hard as she possibly could while she watched his head sway from side to side in doing so. Despite her efforts, he remained unresponsive. She stopped for a brief moment and stared down at his face, suddenly coming to the realization that he was dead. Her lower lip trembled as a rush of tears began to flood around the corner of her eyes.
He can't leave me now, not after all that we've been through, her thoughts continued to cloud her mind as a single tear slipped down her pale cheek.
She refused to believe that he was gone. It just couldn't be possible; he said he was a survivor. He had to live through this. She promised him she would, so why shouldn't he? She then let out a trembling breath and shook his arm before yelling out as loud as her lungs would allow her, which barely came up to a whisper.
"Jack!" her voice cracked against the chilled air as she shivered from both heartache and the bitter cold. "Jack!" She moved her hand up his arm and attempted to wake him one last time before she gripped onto his wrist, feeling her heart break in two. "There's a boat, Jack." Her voice trembled through her tears for she knew that he would not be waking up. "Jack?"
Rose looked up and found that the lifeboat had gone further away from where she was. The man's shouts were merely an echo in the distance and just at that point, she began to lose all hope. She felt another tear slip down her cheek as she looked down at Jack's peaceful face, knowing that she would never again gaze into those beautiful blue eyes of his. She rested her head against their clutched hands and closed her eyes, wanting so desperately to just die with him; she could hardly bear the thought of living her life without him. However, at the back of her mind she heard his trembling voice from when he made her promise to not give up for anything.
You must promise me that you'll survive . . . no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless . . . promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise . . . never let go.
Rose's eyes suddenly burst open and her breathing grew heavier. She knew she could not break her promise; he died for her and so she would live for him. She owed him that much after all that he has done for her.
"Come back!" her voice was hoarse and was growing weaker due to the cold atmosphere. "Come back!" she lifted her head and found that the lifeboat was rowing further away, becoming smaller and smaller to Rose's eyes. "Come back! Come back! Come back! Come back! Come back!"
"Hello!" the officer yelled as he waved his flashlight over the perished passengers that floated in the sea. "Can anyone hear me?"
"Come back! Come back!" Rose's voice became sore as she attempted to shout louder, but she knew her voice was not strong enough to be heard. She looked over to her left and found a frozen officer floating on a lounge chair with a metal whistle hanging from his lips.
She felt tears well up in her eyes when she turned to face the only man she ever loved. Her heart began to sink with dread when she wrapped her fingers around his handcuffed wrist and yanked his frozen hand from hers. Her heart pounded heavily against her chest as she watched his head sink into the water's surface.
I will never forget you, she clutched onto his hand and dreaded the moment she would have to let go.
"I'll never let go," she said as tears fell from her eyes. "I promise."
She placed a tender kiss onto his hand and watched him disappear into the depths of the North Atlantic. She trembled through her heartbreaking sobs before she finally turned to face the officer on the lounge chair, preparing herself for what she would have to do. She mustered up all the strength she had left in her and rolled off the board while letting out a sharp gasp upon being reunited with the freezing water. She could scarcely breathe through the cold atmosphere as she swam awkwardly toward the dead officer who clung onto a floating lounge chair. She leaned against the debris and lifted her trembling hands toward his mouth, briskly removing the whistle as she slipped it in-between her lips and blew into it as fiercely as her lungs would allow her.
Her eyes never left the boat while she continued to blow into the whistle. She was becoming more and more tired but she simply refused to close her eyes; not now. Not until they came for her. Relief struck her when she felt the beaming light shine on her face.
"Come about!" he yelled and shortly after, the boat began to turn and head over to her.
Despite this, Rose did not stop blowing the whistle. She was shivering violently now and was losing all the strength her body had prior to this moment. She did not even realize that the officer in the boat had removed the whistle from her lips.
"Oh, Bloody Hell," Fifth Officer Harold Godfrey Lowe muttered as he watched the frail woman tremble from beneath the surface of the freezing waters. "Well, don't just stand there fools! Help me pull her in for Christ's sake!"
Rose felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her and for a moment, she thought it had been Jack.
"Jack?" she muttered weakly, her voice barely audible as the men in the boat pulled her in and wrapped multiple blankets around her.
She shivered from underneath the blankets and stared blankly into the officer's eyes. A single tear slipped down the side of her face while she looked up at the diamond sky, feeling her heart quiver from the emptiness that now surrounded her. At that point, everything had gone black and she soon drifted off into a deep slumber.
Three hours have gone by since Rose was rescued from the freezing waters. Despite the warmth of the blankets, she slightly shivered against the cool breeze that brushed against them as their lifeboat continued along its journey to the rescue ship. She heard the officer shout off into the distance while he waved a bright green flare over his head, attempting to grasp the attention of the crew onboard the Carpathia.
She felt a pang of sorrow surround her aching heart while she looked up at the sky, noticing that the stars were beginning to fade upon the rising of the sun. Exhaustion swept through her body but she had no will to sleep; not with all the horrid images of Jack slipping into the dark abyss plaguing her mind. Her heart sank with dread upon knowing that she will never see the love of her life again.
Despite her efforts not to close her eyes, Rose fell into another deep slumber and awoke merely two hours later. The sun was shining brightly above them as the lifeboats gathered together and headed toward the rescue ship. Much to everyone's surprise, icebergs of all shapes and sizes have surrounded them. Rose felt anger build up within her soul as she thought of how ignorant they were. Just because a ship was crowned 'unsinkable' gave them no right to ignore the iceberg warnings. If they had just listened to one, none of this would have happened. They would all still be aboard the Titanic and Jack would still be with her. She wanted to scream at them for being so stupid but she knew nothing would bring him back to her; he was forever gone and she was left alone to spend the rest of her life without him.
Once they have reached the side of the rescue ship, Officer Lowe began helping the first five survivors climb up the rope ladder that hung from the ship's entrance. Shortly afterwards, Rose felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist as she was lifted into a standing position. She leaned against the kind officer who led her toward the rope ladder, making sure that she was strong enough to climb on board. Rose felt her knees buckle against her weight but Officer Lowe kept a firm hold on her so that she would not fall as he helped her reach the entrance of the ship safely.
The Carpathian crew helped Rose climb on board the ship and watched as she stumbled against the nurse, barely having enough strength to stand on her own two feet. Officer Lowe placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and pulled her close to him to keep her steady while he began to lead her toward the infirmary. An extra set of blankets were wrapped around her to condense her shivering as a hot cup of tea was handed to her. She ignored the offer and continued to stare off into the distance, not really wanting to communicate with anyone. She still has not yet adjusted to her loss and she knew that she never would. Jack meant everything to her and now he was gone.
Officer Lowe took the cup and nodded off to the steward as he reached over and placed it into her hands. Rose felt tears well up in her eyes but she fought them back. She could not cry now; she had to remain strong. She clutched onto the hot cup which warmed her hands while the officer who saved her continued to lead her to the infirmary. A crowd of people were gathered around them and she refused to look into their eyes for she did not want to receive any pity from them. She has gone through so much within the past twenty-four hours; she did not know how much more she can take. She just wanted to be left in peace to her grieving and let the world around her disappear. She wanted to forget everything, but all she truly wanted was for him to come back to her. She would give anything to look into his eyes one last time. Anything.
She was now standing in front of a white door which had a red cross marked on it. One of the stewards that stood by opened the door and Officer Lowe instantly led Rose inside and sat her down on a vacant bed. The nurse who followed them took the cup Rose clutched onto and brought it to her dry lips, urging for her to take a sip. Rose swallowed the hot and bitter liquid but refused to drink anymore; she just wanted to be left alone. The nurse let out a sigh and she placed the cup on the small table that stood beside the single bed before she helped the frail woman lie down.
Officer Lowe had to blink back the tears that were welling up in his eyes while he noticed how delicate and beautiful the woman before him truly was. A lump formed at the end of his throat when he thought of how many innocent souls have perished within the cold depths of the ocean. He placed more blankets over the woman's body and made sure that she was warm and comfortable before he finally thought it was time for him to leave.
"She looks so fragile," he muttered as he softly shook his head.
"I am positively sure she will be all right, sir," the nurse commented. "All she just needs is some rest and nourishment."
"See to it that she gets the best of care," Officer Lowe said.
"I will make sure of that, sir," the nurse promised.
"Thank you," he said as he stared down at the woman one last time before making a turn to leave.
The nurse just watched as he left before returning her attention back to the redheaded woman who lay in bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling.
"You should get some rest, Miss," the nurse told her. "I will be back to check on you later." She quickly made sure that the blankets were firmly in place before she headed to care for another patient that has been brought in.
Rose remained oblivious to all that was around her. All she could think of was Jack and how desperately she wanted to be with him. She could never love another man as she loved Jack. Her heart belonged to him and he took it with her when he died. She would never be the same without him. She lost the one thing she wanted the most in her life and she knew she would never get him back.
Jack Dawson was her only savior and now he was gone.
Jack felt as if he were falling while the cold was ready to take the last ounce of life he had left. Everything seemed so calm and quiet that he did not mind the thought of knowing his time would soon come to an end. However, a voice at the back of his head kept telling him not to give up just yet; he had something to live for this time. He could not let this chance slip by when he knew it had taken him everything to free the woman he now loves. He must not end his life like this. He has to live and he was determined to.
He ignored the stinging pain from when he opened his eyes as he mustered up whatever strength he had and began to kick as hard and as fast as his body would dare allow him to until he finally reached the surface. He instantly spat out the salt water that managed to slip into his mouth and sucked in as much air to fill his lungs while he desperately clung onto the driftwood he placed Rose on earlier. He was shivering violently and struggled to keep his breathing down to normal level when he looked up, expecting to find his love lying there but was surprised to find her missing.
"R-Rose?" he breathed as he looked around his surroundings, discovering a tremendous amount of perished souls floating on the ocean's surface. "Rose!" He attempted to shout but his voice was barely above a whisper. "Rose! Where . . . where a-are you?"
His heart shuddered in fear as he proceeded to look around him and knew that if he did not get out of the water soon, his chance of surviving would be entirely slim. He gripped onto the end of the driftwood and tried pulling himself on board but failed when the board tipped over. He coughed upon having accidentally swallowed a bit of the salt water but he remained determined to get on and so he tried once more. This time he put his feet on first and rolled onto it which proved to have been successful. He hugged himself from the bitter cold and shivered vigorously while thoughts began to flood through his mind.
He was confused. Where could she possibly be? He knew that she had a better chance of survival than he had considering that she was mostly out of the water, then what could have possibly happened to her? He pushed the thought aside for the time being while he fought the urge to close his eyes; last time he did that he went unconscious and he knew if he dared to close his eyes again, he would not be coming back. He had to stay strong and survive through this night; for her.
He felt a single tear slip down his cheek when he thought of Rose and what could have happened to her. His heart could barely tolerate the torture of not knowing whether or not she was alive. He wanted to be reassured that she survived and did not perish among the many others that were floating in the sea. She did not deserve that kind of fate. If anyone deserved it, it was him. He would go through an eternity of suffering if it meant that his Rose would be happy and well. She had been through so much throughout her past and he knew that. He knew how much she longed to have her freedom and so he most willingly gave it to her. The thought relaxed him, even though a separate thought continued to pester him; is she or is she not alive
In the midst of his thoughts, he was beginning to feel his eyelids grow heavy. Despite this, he simply refused to shut them. He could not and would not give way to death. He was very much determined to live and hoped — no, more so prayed — that help would arrive soon. The only way he would recover was to get out of the cold atmosphere. He was never a patient man when it came to waiting and this was one of the times that nagged at his heart.
Not wanting to think about it, he turned to lie on his back and gazed up at the endless night sky where he began to admire the millions of beautiful stars that were twinkling high above him. He found a sense of distraction from the bitter cold as he started to count them even though he knew it would be completely impossible to keep up. He just did not want to think of the pain he felt from the cold because he knew he would never get by if he did. Instead, he placed all of his concentration onto the sky until he noticed them beginning to fade away upon the rising of the sun. He faced the horizon where he saw a red-orange glow illuminate the heavens while the tip of the bright yellow sun was exposing itself to the world. He began to notice several large icebergs emerging from the water's surface. Who knew how many icebergs they have missed before they collided with one?
Anger began to flood through his soul when he thought of how many iceberg warnings have been left ignored. They had too much pride in the ship that it cost thousands of people their lives. How could they have been so stupid? Just as he was getting engrossed into his thoughts, he heard a splashing noise several yards away. His heart skipped a beat when he found an overturned boat slowly making its way toward safety. He noticed an officer standing on board both edges of the boat, keeping it as steady as he possibly could while the other men on board just clung onto one another so as not to fall into the water. Jack had to blink twice to believe that there actually was a boat there. Upon realizing that it was not a figment of his imagination, he pulled himself up with much difficulty and held his arm up wanting to grab their attention. He became disappointed when he noticed that his arm barely came up half way. He was quickly losing his strength and pretty soon he would lose his life if they did not come for him.
"Help!" he attempted to shout but it only came out to be a gasp of fear. Since he knew shouting would not help, he began smacking his hand against the water making as much noise as he could until one of the men on board noticed him. "Please . . . h-help me . . ."
"Quickly, paddle over to him!" the officer commanded. "C'mon!"
Jack was relieved upon noticing that they were making their way toward him. Thank God. He watched as they came closer and closer until they were finally within reach of him. The officer on board extended his hand out to him, while the other men kept hold of the officer so that he would not fall.
"Give me your hand," he said. "I'll help you over."
He tried giving his hand to the officer but failed when he nearly fell off the driftwood. He gasped and clutched onto the board for dear life as he looked over at the officer with fear and exhaustion shining through his eyes. His shivering has not ceased since he got out of the water and his breathing remained shallow and heavy at the same time. He limped against the debris, no longer having the strength to sit up as he felt his eyelids begin to grow heavy. Despite this, he continued to fight the urge to sleep and noticed that officer remained determined to help him.
"C'mon, lads!" he ordered as he kept his arm extended toward Jack. "Push a bit further so I could reach him."
Jack watched as the men did the best they could to paddle further and was proven successful when the overturned boat began to come closer. The officer then reached over and took hold of Jack before pulling him onto the boat, making sure that he was steady before he instructed the men to continue along their way to the rescue ship. It was difficult, considering that they had no oars and the fact that the lifeboat they were on was not in its proper position but they managed.
Jack shivered as he leaned against the man before him for he no longer had the strength to sit up. The man did not seem to mind which relieved Jack gratefully. The few men that were helping to steer the boat began to paddle away from the dead bodies and toward the open water where in the distance, a ship with a single funnel came into view. It had taken them a half hour to reach the rescue ship and when they did, the men on the overturned boat began climbing the rope ladder that hung from the entrance of the ship. Jack did not have the strength to climb which caused for him to be pulled up on a stretcher. Just having been on a lying position led for his exhaustion to become even deeper and by the time they have pulled him to the entrance of the ship, he had already been asleep.
The few nurses that stood by instantly rushed to Jack's side and began covering him in multiple blankets to keep him warm. Despite this, he proceeded to shiver violently even in the midst of his deep slumber. The officers on board helped bring him over to the infirmary where they placed him on a vacant bed nearby and covered him in even more blankets to help subdue his immense shivering. Not wasting any time, one of the nurses went to fetch the doctor who began examining him once he got there.
"This is not good," he muttered as he shook his head. "I suggest you keep a watchful eye on him and be sure to contact me the second he awakes."
"Yes sir," one of the nurses said before curtsying in respect of the doctor.
The doctor briefly nodded and turned to care for another patient that lay beside the one he just examined. He gently placed his hand over her forehead and found that she had regained her normal body temperature. He just stood and watched her sleep for a moment or two. There was something about her that caused for his heart to tighten with sympathy. Her face was pale and though she was asleep, he could tell that she was suffering from a broken heart. He shook his head softly before he went on to care for the other Titanic survivors that have been brought in.
Rose awoke the next day feeling refreshed but at the same time heartbroken and alone. She softly began rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and pulled herself into a sitting position as she pushed down the many blankets that have been wrapped over her. She looked around her surroundings and noticed that every bed that had been empty was now occupied, including the one beside her. There was a man lying on his back with his face turned away from her as he slept with a pile of blankets covering his shivering body. From what she could see, he had shaggy blonde hair. His left hand was hanging loosely over the edge of the bed and Rose could automatically feel tears rushing to her eyes. Just seeing another man with blonde hair led for her to be reminded of Jack. Whenever she closed her eyes, she saw him. His angelic smile would warm up her heart while his piercing blue eyes would just continuously stare into hers. It was not until she awoke that she realized that it was only a dream. She turned away from the unknown man beside her and fought back the tears that were threatening to break free while her heart continued to ache from her loss.
She did not know how much more she could take of the torture. She had to leave. She quickly removed the multiple blankets that were over her and kept one wrapped around her before she slid off the bed and headed over to the exit of the infirmary. Once she was out into open air, she noticed the majority of the survivors sitting out on deck. Some of them sat on the hardwood floor while there were others that sat upon the lounge chairs that were available. The rest just stood and stared off into distance, not really paying attention to anything that was happening around them. She heard several women around her mourning over the loss of their loved ones and she knew then that she was not the only one who has been left with a broken heart.
She pulled her gaze away from those around her and noticed a single unoccupied lounge chair placed beside the railing of the ship. She paused for a few moments to see if anyone else would take the seat and when no one had, she slowly began making her way toward it until she finally sat down and stared off into the blue sea, lost in thought.
No matter how hard she tried, she could not stop thinking of him. Those piercing blue eyes and his angelic smile were all that would occupy her thoughts as she sat there feeling incredibly alone. Her vision was blurred by her tears but she refused to cry. Not here, not now; she had to remain strong.
Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted upon a slight commotion over to the third class entrance. "Oh, sir, I don't think you'll find any of your people down here," a steward said. "It's all steerage."
Rose turned her head slightly and felt her heart sink with dread when she found Cal standing a few feet away from her. He slowly began walking past every survivor and examined their faces as if he were looking for someone in particular. Rose had no doubt in her mind that he was looking for her. However, she knew she could not let that happen. She simply refused to go back to the life where she lived in full misery. Though she had everything she possibly could want by living a first class life, she knew she could never have the one thing she wanted most: freedom. Jack gave her that freedom and she was not going to let Cal take it away from her. For the first time in her life, she was finally able to do what she wanted to do and not have to meet up with other's expectations. She was sick of living her life the way her mother wanted her to and it was about time that she began to live her own life her way.
Without a second thought, Rose pulled up the blanket she wrapped around herself and covered her vibrant red curls, knowing that it would make her highly recognizable to her ex-fiancé. She kept a firm hold on the warm fabric so that the wind would not blow it off and carefully turned to find him standing close by with his back turned to her. He seemed helpless and worried but this did not concern Rose for she knew his attitude toward things. Ever since she forcefully accepted his engagement a year ago, he had treated her as if she were more so a possession rather than a fiancé. She no longer wished to be treated as such so she knew that she had to avoid this man for as long as she lived. Her misery was done with, aside from the fact that she was now left with a broken heart. She did not regret her decision and she knew she never would. She was leaving her past life, just as she had intended to when she told Jack that she would get off the Titanic with him. She meant every word and she was not about to let a man from her past life ruin her only chance of freedom.
She turned her head away and kept her attention focused on the open sea. She closed her eyes and let out a sigh of relief upon having heard his footsteps fade away. She slowly turned her head toward the direction he was heading and watched him step out of her life forever. She just narrowly escaped her old life and hoped to God that he would never return again. She could not bear to face him; not after all that he has done to her. Now that she has gained her freedom, she was going to make the most of her life and fulfill her promise. Though the thought of her having to marry and bear the children of another man did not sound appealing to her at the moment. The only man she could ever want to carry the children of was Jack's but he was gone and she could not help but feel as if it were her fault. After all, it was he who had been in the water far longer than she had and it was he who had risked his life for her to live. She had been selfish to think that Jack would always be with her and now he lay at the bottom of the ocean, completely lifeless.
She lowered her head and put all her focus upon her trembling fingers while her heart tightened with remorse. It's my fault. I killed the only man I ever loved. She closed her eyes and held back the tears as best she could while she began to relive a memory.
Their laughter had not ceased since the moment they first escaped from the cargo hold several moments ago. Jack and Rose were snuggled up into each other's arms after having made love when suddenly, two stewards came in looking for them. Neither one of them wasted any time as they both grabbed their clothes and hid behind a large mass of cargo hold nearby. They waited around a moment longer after they dressed and watched as one of the stewards opened the back door of the Renault, expecting to find them there but appeared dumbfounded when he came across an empty seat. The two could barely suppress their amusement as they saw the two stewards stare at each other in pure confusion.
Jack grabbed her hand and quickly led her out of the boiler room and toward a stairwell which would lead them to another part of the ship they were unaware of. Once they were out of earshot, the two erupted into laughter and began to run up the flights of stairs until they finally came across a door. Neither one of them knew where this door would lead them, but all the same, neither one of them cared. Jack then reached over and pushed it open where a sudden brush of cool wind crashed against them. Rose stepped out first and nearly stumbled onto the deck from her intense laughter as Jack attempted to slam the door shut behind them. The effort failed to have been successful for it had ricocheted open and caused for them to laugh even harder. No longer caring for the door or anything around them, Jack reached over and took Rose's hand as he swung her around him briefly before he finally held her close, all the while laughing with her.
"Did you see those guys' faces?" Jack managed to say through his heavy laughter.
Rose finally managed to stop laughing and looked into his eyes while she smiled tenderly. She was breathing heavily and could barely control the rapid beating of her heart as she watched his eyes sparkle with happiness while his arm kept a firm hold of her.
"Did you see the —" he stopped when Rose placed her smooth fingers over his lips, silencing him as his attention fell upon her.
She kept her fingers linger over his lips a moment longer before she slipped her hand at the nape of his neck. She felt her hair flutter softly against the cool breeze while the scent of the sea filled their nostrils. She took in a few deep breaths and began to muster up enough courage to speak the words that she longed for him to hear. She had all she wanted to say ready in her mind, but she had some difficulty transporting her thoughts into words. After a few moments, she finally found her voice.
"When the ship docks," she began while her gaze appeared to be focused on his luscious lips. A brief moment later, she turned her attention to his eyes and smiled as she thought of the next few words she would utter. She remained confident in her decision and had no regrets. She loved this man with every fiber of her being and did not wish to be separated from him any longer. Her heart belonged to him and had been since the moment she went back and found him at the bow of the ship earlier this afternoon. There was no mistake in what she felt towards this man and nobody — not even Cal or her mother — could ever break the bond that she and Jack now shared. Finally, she spoke the next few words with no regrets. "I'm getting off with you."
The realization of her words sunk in and he automatically knew what she meant. He stared into his eyes and grinned as his hands softly caressed the small of her back. "This is crazy!" he replied with raised eyebrows, knowing the sacrifice that she was making for him.
"I know, it doesn't make any sense," she said with a confident grin. "That's why I trust it."
His smile soon faded as his eyes bore into her soul for a brief moment before making a swift journey to her lips and back again. The happiness and love that shone through his eyes gave Rose the notion that she had indeed made the right decision. A split second later, their lips met in a passionate kiss and all their worries that they had prior to this moment had vanished. Their love had been the only thing that kept them aware and happy. Nothing in this world could possibly come between them . . . or so they thought.
Her throat was becoming dry from her effort to hold back her grief and as she looked around her, she knew she could no longer bear it. She buried her face within her hands and freed her tears while her body shook against her agonizing sobs. She felt her heart shatter into a million pieces when images of his angelic face began to haunt her. Her long for freedom had cost Jack his life and there was nothing she could possibly do that would bring him back. He was forever gone from the life he deserved to live. She had not noticed that she was trembling against her heartbreaking sobs but even so, she would not care. All that she focused on was the fact that her one and only true love had died because of her selfishness. She wanted freedom, so she got it with the cost of his life.
She slipped her trembling fingers through her hair and let out shuddering sobs while her tears continued to break free from her broken soul. She did not realize that a nurse had noticed her until she felt a hand placed upon her shoulder.
"Are you all right, Miss?" the kind nurse asked while she gazed into her eyes.
Rose looked up before wiping away her fallen tears and nodded her head softly, even though she knew that she was far from being 'all right'; she just wanted to be left alone.
"I'm fine," Rose managed to choke out against her heartbreak. "I-I just want to be left alone . . . please." She looked over at the nurse with pleading eyes and was relieved when she saw her get up from her kneeling position.
"As you wish, ma'am," she said calmly before leaving Rose to her privacy.
Rose felt more tears slip down her cheeks as she looked up at the bright sky, wondering if he was looking over her despite all that she has done. She lowered her head and let out a mournful cry before she turned her attention back up to the heavens.
"Why did you have to leave me like this, Jack?" she spoke while her eyes glimmered with unshed tears. "After all that we've been through . . . I loved you . . . I love you still."
Rose continued to mourn over the loss of her love, just as the rest of the surviving women did. She could no longer bear the agony of holding back her tears and let out all the tears that longed to be free until she grew exhausted. She sat out there for hours thinking of him and the love she had felt for him.
Her memory of Jack would forever be locked away in her heart, only for her to look back on. She would relive the memories day after day until the moment she takes her last breath. She then made a vow to never tell anyone of her love affair with Jack Dawson or the fact that she was a Titanic survivor. She would keep her promise and move on, despite how hard and unbearable the thought of it seemed to this point; she had to do it for him. It was the only way she could prove to him that she loves him — even though he was no longer in existence. She was starting a new life filled with freedom and the only way that she knew she could move on was to keep everything she knew of her past life a secret; all including Jack and the Titanic. Even though she may not ever speak of him to anyone, his memory will forever live on in her heart and of that she was sure.
"I miss you," she breathed while looking up at the sky with bloodshot eyes.
A single tear slipped down her already tear-stained cheek as she lowered her head and thought of all those unforgettable moments she shared with him. They all lingered within her mind every passing second. There was nothing in this world that could lead her to forget the man who has saved her life more than once. He was not just an ordinary person; he was everything to her and more. But from now on, he will be her secret.