Last time: On Dragon Ball Z!
Daisuke dropped to his knees, face cradled in his hands. "How could she find out my secret!" He cried, tilting his eyes to the ceiling and raising his arms to the skies. "Why! No one was supposed to know about the women's underwear…no one was supposed to know…"
Daisuke: HOLD IT!
Daisuke: What the hell do you think you're trying to pull?
SG: Why, whatever do you mean?
Daisuke: SG, none of that actually happened last chapter…at all.
Daisuke: Uh huh.
SG: Huh…oh well. It's been a while, gimme a break.
Dark: Speaking of which, why did it take you so damned long to look at this again anyways? What's it been…two years?
SG: Hey, I was just…giving the story a dramatic pause…
Dark: Uh huh. You forgot about us didn't you.
Jman: Uh, yeah she did.
Dark: Ha! I knew I-…wait, who are you?
Jman: Who me? I'm SG's cousin, the one who REMINDED HER about this story. Because, you know, she had completely FORGOTTEN IT.
Dark: I should have known.
SG: …Uhhhhhhh, to the Batmobile! AWAYYYY!
Disclaimer: I really don't own it…any of it. I'm poor, honest.
Chapter 5: Some Not so Finny Fun
"My names Envy and I do believe that you…" He pointed at Dark. "Have something that I require."
"Oh, you mean this?" Dark replied, pulling a bottle out of his pocket.
"Yeah! Give it to me or die!"
"Wait, Dark… what? What is that?" Daisuke asked.
"It's tornado repellant," he replied. "It's in high demand. It's tornado season, in case you haven't noticed."
"Actually, I hadn't…"
He was interrupted by a shout from Envy. "Surrender or girly-man over there gets his intestines ripped out."
A high-pitched yell came from Krad…again. Satoshi rolled his eyes, turning to his dark half with his arms crossed. "Man, grows some balls already will you!" He exclaimed, huffing a bit as he shook his head. "Jeeze, how come Daisuke gets someone as cool and mysterious as Dark, while I'm stuck with some girly man like you."
"I am not a girly man! And I am sooo much cooler than Dark." Krad protested, regaining some of his prior manliness as he stuck his chest out.
"Oh yeah, and that's why the transvestite has your crackers, and you're just standing there whimpering like a little girl." Satoshi snorted, turning back to the others with a small sigh.
"I'll show you! I'll show you all!" Krad jumped up, his fists clenching as he turned to Envy. "No one takes my crackers and lives to tell the tale!!" The blonde dropped down low, his hands drawing together in a parody of a very well known…and somewhat cliché action. "Ka…."
A collective gasp was heard from the rest of the room as they began to realize just what it was Krad was trying to do. Daisuke rushed forward, Wiz on his shoulders. "No Krad, don't! You can't!"
"How is this even possible! I thought that the Dragon Ball Z references would stay in the authors notes where they belong! This can't be happening!"
"Oh shit, he's really doing it! Krad wait! Stop!"
"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Krad's entire body tensed, his blonde hair flying wildly and energy pulsing from his every pore as he shoved his hands and…nothing happened.
The entire room was silent, Krad's frame frozen completely as he stood there, his hands still extended, a pained expression on his features. After a moment, Daisuke ventured a chance to speak. "Uh, is that it?"
Krad slowly straightened, his face deadly calm. "Yeah, that's about it."
"Oh." Daisuke licked his lip again, before scratching the back of his head. "Soo, what was the point of all that then?"
Krad slowly quirked a brow, crossing his arms over his chest in the perfect 'cool guy' image. "It helps me maintain my tough guy image."
"Oh…" Daisuke opened his mouth, and closed it again. "Just…oh…"
"I'm still here, you realise!" Envy yelled in protest.
"Who's he?" Dark asked.
Envy grabbed a fork off a conveniently placed table and threw it at Dark, but it just stuck in the air halfway.
"Oh," said Satoshi, "that's because my house sits in an unstable part of the space-time continuum, and it can tear pretty easily. That's what the 'no sharp objects' policy is there for."
"Then why was there a fork on that conveniently placed table?" Daisuke asked.
"When will you learn not to question the mighty Authoress?"
"AND AUTHOR", a voice boomed from the ceiling.
"Oh god, there are two of them now?"
"THAT'S RIGHT, NOW GET BACK TO WORK."
Dark seized the opportunity while everyone wasn't paying attention to grab the fork pull down, tearing a huge hole in the space-time continuum.
Some water started to seep through as Dark shouted, "Quick! Everybody through!" and jumped into the tear.
"Dark!!" Daisuke yelled, and jumped in after him.
"There is absolutely no way I am–" Krad started, but then emitted a short scream as he was pushed in by Satoshi, who then jumped in himself.
The hole conveniently closed behind them, leaving Envy stranded in Satoshi's house.
"Well, at least I have the crackers", he said, reaching for one.
"Wait… what? Where are the crackers?" he shrieked. "Nooooooo!! GIRLY-MAN, I'M COMING FOR YOU!"
Shoulder length silver hair floated up as a figure slid through the darkness and into the depths of the waters of Atlantica. Who was this traveller you ask? Who else, but a certain Riku, with a certain mission, pertaining to the certainly concerning absence of a certain bubbly brunette named Sora.
Riku was on a mission, a mission important enough to get him to come to this wet place, and important enough to subject his delicate skin to the hygenic terrors of scales.
Shuddering, the silver haired bishounen swam through the high seas, intent on finding…intent on…intent… "WHO THE FUCK IS MAKING SO MUCH DAMNED NOISE!" He stopped dead in the water, the sound of high pitched squeaking ringing through his mind and causing his ears to bleed. "Augh!" He cried, clutching the sides of his head. "It burns! It…wait…I know that voice…SORA!"
Riku took off, beelining towards where he would find the key blade weilder, only to find his entire world falling to pieces as he caught sight of the other…dancing…with the most hidieous sea squid he'd ever seen. Oh no, no wait, that was Arial. "Sora!"
The brunette stopped, turning with wide eyes to the boy behind him. "Riku! What are you doing here?!"
"Me? What are you doing here Sora! Besides cheating on me with that…that…red headed bimbo!" Riku sobbed, throwing himself down to a rock that was wedged into the sea floor with a dramatic sob.
"Don't be sad, Riku!" said Bimbo…err…Ariel. "We were just dancing, singing and having a whole bunch of finny fun!"
"Finny… fun. Finny fun. So that's what they're calling it these days," Riku sobbed. "MY LOVE WAS DESTROYED BY FINNY FUN!! Augugughhh…"
Dark, who had just flung himself into the clearing from the space time continuum (followed of course by his companions), managed to come to a stop, his wings unfurling, beside Riku in the walking. "Hey, my name's Dar—"
Dark slowly raised a brow at the strange bows odd cry, before motioning to his red headed light half beside him. "And this is Daisu—"
"Finny fun… finny… fun…"
Dark turned to Daisuke. "It looks like we're not gonna be able to talk to him."
"I've got an idea!" Krad said, and swam over to Ariel.
"Hey, Bimbo," he said menacingly.
"Actually, my name's Ariel, and I was just having some finny fun, so if you could wait for a minute—"
She never got any farther.
"Nice one, Krad!" said Dark.
"Does that prove my manliness?"
"Aww, come on… it was a mermaid! Those things are vicious!"
"It was completely innocent…"
"INNOCENT!?" Riku screamed from the corner.
"Well… I guess you've taken a small step on the long road to manliness."
Krad squealed, and went off to find some more mermaids to murder.
"Hey," Daisuke said, "how come we can all breathe down here?"
"My tornado repellant seems to have some breathing-in-water qualities."
"You have no clue what that actually is, do you?
"Well. Here we are, stuck in the middle of an ocean, surrounded by mermaids, being chased by a homicidal transvestite palm tree who is searching for a bottle of what we only know as tornado repellent and…" Daisuke paused, before turning to dark in the water, his eyes narrowing. "Wait a second, you've had that bottle this entire time have you?"
"Yeup, I've had it with me for a good few days now. Why do you ask?" Dark smiled, his eyes practically twinkling as he fluttered his eyelids.
"…Why the hell didn't you use that stuff back at the house?"
"The Tornado Repellant."
"Oh…what about it?"
"Augh! Why didn't you use it back at our house when we were attacked?"
"Attacked by what?"
"Ohhhh! Well, you should have told me that we were attacked by a Tornado earlier!! I could have used this stuff to keep it away, and saved us a lot of trouble…"
Daisuke twitched, his mouth opening, before closing again as he turned to Krad and Satoshi.
"All right," said Satoshi, "our work here is done. Let's find a way out."
"Aww," said Daisuke, "I wanted to stay and sing with the mermaids…"
Dark swam up to Sora, with a frantic look in his eyes.
"WE NEED TO FIND MERLIN! DO YOU WANT TO LIVE? THEN TELL US HOW TO FIND HIM!"
"All you have to do is swim up to the surface…" Sora said, terrified, then went and hid behind Riku.
"I wonder what was wrong with him," Dark said, completely oblivious to the fact that he had just traumatized an innocent child for life. Shrugging, he turned towards the others, before motioning towards the surface and swimming away. They would find Merlin yet, oh yes they would.
Meanwhile, Riku had just noticed that Sora was using him as a hiding place. He turned, staring at the brown haired boy with still slightly hurt eyes. "Are you alright?" He asked, taking the other's hands in his own.
"I'm fine." Sora murmured, biting his lip as he looked up at Riku through thick, dark lashes. "But what about you? Are you okay?" He tilted his head, looking nervous. "I mean, I really hurt you Riku. By having finny fun. I'm sorry."
"It's…it's okay." Riku swallowed, turning his gaze to the side as he fought the tears that found his eyes once more. It took a lot to cry underwater…but this was just so heartbreaking, that the crying wouldn't stop. Finny fun was something special, and that Bimbo had almost ruined everything between him and Sora, "I just thought that I was losing you. I was scared Sora."
"Oh Riku…" Sora grabbed Riku's chin, tilting the other's face towards him with a compationate smile. "Don't you know that I would never leave you? I lo-- hey, is that a transvestite?"
Envy stumbled through the rip in the space time continuum…which had suddenly and conveniently reopened for his appearance. He looked around, completely ignoring the two staring mermen. He looked up, catching sight of feet kicking up at the surface, a smirk forming on his features. "Oh, run while you can Dark."
He chuckled, reaching down to his hip. "After all, you wont make it far. Not while I have your…Rabbit." He cackled, patting the head of a very scared looking Wiz. The little thing had been taped to Envy's hip, and the palm tree seemed oblivious to the critter's discomfort. Envy's grin widened and he turned, kicking off the ground and starting to kick towards the surface. "I will get you Dark…oh yes. I will get you….though it is rather hard to swim with this rabbit attatched to my hip. But I will still get you, I'll just get you slower. Muhahah. Muhahahaha. MuhahahahahahahahahahahahahaQ!"
Down below, Sora and Riku watched the spectacle with wide eyes. "That's fucked up man."
Jman: Read and Review!
SG: Or just read and enjoy, that works too.
Jman: Uh, actually no. They have to review.
SG: Or what?
Jman: Or I'll torture Sora to death with a fork! grabs Sora and holds the fork to his throat
SG: Well one, that's not Sora…that's Elton John, and two, that fork's plastic.
Jman: ….. Curse you corporate America! CURSE YOUUUUU!