After The Fall
Gosh, it's been so long since I've written a fan fiction piece that I actually felt comfortable enough about to post it anywhere. Not that this is a masterpiece or anything. :o) I wrote this immediately after having watched the episode "Trial and Error" (spoiler warning for that episode!) and it deals mainly with what happens with Adam after the episode ends.
I don't mean to defend Adam or what he did, because when I saw him with Bonnie, I thought, "You SOB, how could you do that to Joan!" However, what's done is done, and I just couldn't get the crying Adam at the end of the episode out of my mind. And while I don't mean to condone his actions, I still feel for him and think he deserves a little support from a friend. That's why I had to write down Adam's scenario that I think might have unfolded.
I am a bit unsure as to Grace's role in this piece, she might come across a little too soft, sympathetic and a little too un-aggressive. But even Grace must have it in her heart to reach out emotionally every now and then, so this is my dream version of a supportive Grace. ;o) Feel free to comment on this or anything else about this short piece.
So, before my introduction gets longer than the actual fan fiction, here goes. Oh, one last thing: These characters are not mine. Nor am I claiming they are. They are property of CBS, Barbara Hall Productions, Sony or whoever else they might belong to. I'm not making any money out of this. Sheesh, yeah, I wish I was.
Thanks to Deb for beta-reading and editing. It's much appreciated!
These characters and settings are not mine. Nor am I claiming they are. They are property of CBS, Barbara Hall Productions, Sony or whoever else they might belong to. I'm not making any money out of this, although I wish I was.
gave her a part of yourself because I wouldn't sleep with you.'
'You had my heart, Adam. That's what you took when you went to hook up with her.'
'We're done. It's over.'
Joan's words reverberated in Adam's head, over and over. Growing louder and more persistent every time he replayed the scene in his mind, his talk with Joan after the mock trial in school. Adam sat on the floor of his shed, his back against one of the closets, his face on his arms that were crossed on his knees. He didn't even notice that tears were still streaming down his face, dropping to the floor that was dusty and covered with stray wood shavings.
After Joan left the mock court room, back at school this afternoon, he stood there, leaning against the desk for maybe half an hour, but it seemed like an endless amount of time to him. He finally pulled himself together enough to gather the strength to walk out, past Grace and Luke who were discussing something or other in the hallway. He heard Grace calling his name, but he just walked on, home, where he went straight to his shed.
As if trying to ban what happened from his mind, he frantically started working on a large board of wood that he wanted to saw into smaller pieces for an art piece he was working on. However, he ended up making the pieces way too small and misshapen and almost sawed off half his finger with the electric saw.
Resigning, he sunk to the floor with his back to the closet. He still heard Joan's last words in his mind when there was a voice calling his name.
"Rove! You in there?" It was Grace's voice.
"Go away. Just leave me alone!"
The door opened just enough for Grace to look in. "Adam..."
He looked up at her, tears fresh on his face. In a harsh tone he interrupted, "I said leave me alone, okay!"
Grace opened the door and took a few steps in Adam's direction. In a soft voice she said, "I don't think you really wanna be alone right now."
Not finding the strength to contradict her, he buried his face in his arms again. Grace closed the door behind her and sat down on the floor next to Adam, keeping enough distance between the two of them as to not give him the feeling she was prying. They sat in silence for minutes, the only sound being occasional sniffing sounds from Adam. Grace simply sat there, watching his shoulders heaving ever so slightly. For a second, she wanted to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but then decided against it.
After a few minutes, Adam lifted his head and wiped at his tears with his sleeves. Looking at Grace, he asked her, "What are you doing here anyway? Shouldn't you be with Joan?"
Grace shrugged almost imperceptibly. "She yelled at me for not telling her that you told me. Things got a little heated, so I left. I think she needs some time to figure things out."
Adam exhaled through his nose. "How could I have been so stupid? What was I thinking?" He looked at Grace for an answer.
She looked back at him, a sadness in her eyes that Adam had not seen before. "I don't have any answers for you, Rove. As far as I'm concerned, I would have to agree, it was a gigantically stupid thing to do."
His eyes filled with tears again. "She was my best friend, she loved me, she trusted me. And I went and screwed Bonnie. And the worst of it is, I wanted it. I really wanted it. It just felt so right then, and it feels so wrong now." He wiped away a tear from his cheek. "I destroyed everything we had. And we had such a great thing. Why did I ever take that away? Why?"
Adam rubbed his face with his hands. When he looked up again, he said, "Grace, do you think she is ever going to forgive me?"
"I ... I don't know. You really hurt her, I don't think she's ever going to forget that. But I would like to think that the Joan I have gotten to know over the last two years will forgive you eventually. As to how long that is going to take, I can't say."
Adam looked at her with a desperately lost look. "What am I going to do now?"
"The only thing you can do is to give her time."
Adam nodded, then wiped at his nose with his sleeve. Almost embarrassed, Grace fished a tissue from her jacket pocket and gave it to Adam. He took it and blew his nose. He whispered, "Thanks."
Grace looked at her watch. She got up from the floor. Standing in front of Adam, she put out her hand. "Come on, Rove, it's late."
Adam looked up at her with a confused look. It took a few seconds for him to process what Grace had just said. In a whispering tone, he answered, "Yeah," and took her hand. Grace pulled him up and led him to the house. He seemed to her like a puppet whose strings she was pulling. In his bedroom, she led him to the bed, and he sat down.
Grace turned to go. "Get some sleep, okay?"
"Yeah," he said lifelessly, his shoulders slumped. They both knew that there was no way Adam would get a decent night's sleep tonight.
When she was almost out the door, she turned around. "Just so you know. I'm on Joan's side here. What you did to her, there is no way to justify that, no excuse to explain it. I thought you should know that."
Adam looked at her with a blank expression and just nodded. Almost imperceptibly he said, "Okay."
The lock clicked into place when Grace closed the door behind her as she left the Rove house. She just hated being put in the position of mediator. Both Adam and Joan were her friends. As if she didn't have enough things to deal with at home. But if her friendship with Joan and her family had taught her anything, it was that friends were there to help you out when you didn't think there was any hope. And she prayed to God that there was hope, that He would somehow make Adam and Joan to find their way again. Of course there was no saying they would walk that same way, but there comes a time to have a little faith in God to make things right.
"Yes," she thought, "Sometimes Dad's not far wrong, God will find a way to put things back together." Imagining what her dad would say if he could read her thoughts just now, she walked home through the dark streets of Arcadia, a small smile playing on her lips.