A Day In The Cul-De-Sac
"Have you ever wondered how a bird flies or an airplane soars? Now, for a limited time only, you can discover these transitory secrets for the small price of twenty-five cents," advertised Eddy. "Each that is," he quickly added.
"Gee, I don't know.… What do you think, buddy?" Jonny 2x4 held the hunk of wood up to his ear. "Aha. Yep. Okay, Plank," he returned his attention to Eddy. "Plank wants to know if it's safe."
"Uh…sure it is, Jonny-boy! Act now and get a free party favor."
"Party favors? Give it to me, Eddy!" Jonny ran forward and dropped the two quarters into Eddy's jar, but didn't forget to take the party favors from Ed.
"Come again!" Ed grinned.
Jonny struggled to put his party hat on, but once he did, it sat crooked on his head.
"Yes…. Now see here, Jonny. These hand cut cardboard wings have been carefully selected to fit your person," explained Double D as he began to help Jonny put them on. "So if we…simply…buckle the…straps together…they should-"
"Outta the way, Sockhead," Eddy pushed Double D away and began fighting with the straps himself. "It buckles like…." Eddy pulled and tugged, but the buckles refused to meet.
"Ah, and such a bounty would be placed upon Rolf daydreamed as he sat among a huge pile of candied beets he was to polish and shine.
Rolf looked around for the source of the voice. "What do you think you are doing, spying on Rolf?" he interrogated.
"Chill, amigo. I just though-"
"Oh, it is only you, Kevin. What may the son of a shepherd do for you?" Rolf stood and bowed to him.
"Right…I was just around and I thought you might want to play some catch," explained Kevin.
Rolf frowned and shook his head. "This is not allowed, Kevin, as the turnip must not be sown. Come back when Rolf is through with his chores," replied Rolf, returning to the beets.
"Whatever," Kevin mumbled and walked away.
"There, they should work now! Nice work, Ed," Eddy complimented after they duck-taped the straps together. Ed, too, had duck-tape stuck all over himself.
"Just call me a hamburger!" Ed said, grinning from ear to ear. Everyone gave him a confused look.
"Plank says he still doubts the chances of this working," Jonny announced.
"Hey Plank, my dad's adding a porch to the house, wanna help?" threatened Eddy.
"Eddy! Manners!" reminded Double D.
"Fine," Eddy mumbled. "Try them wings out now, Jonny-boy!"
Jonny closed his eyes and began flapping his arms up and down like a bird. He slowly opened his eyes again to see he was flying about everyone else. "Way cool! I'm doing it! I'm flying!" Jonny hollered.
"Bravo, Jonny! Well done!" Double D cheered.
"You show'em, Jonny!" supported Eddy.
"Yup, yup, sharoo!" Ed cried out.
"How long do you think he can stay up there?" Eddy asked Double D, but no sooner had this been said, Jonny fell out of the sk with a great thud.
"Jonny! Are you alright?!" Double D raced to the boy's side, first aid kit in hand, to tend to any injuries.
"Hmmm…. Oh well, must have been all that hot air in his head," Eddy shrugged, but Double looked thoughtful.
"Hot air…Eddy! That's it!" he quickly shook Eddy's hand and ran off to his house.
"Huh?" Eddy asked, left staring curiously at his hand.
"There he goes!" Ed grinned cluelessly.
"Are they done yet, Sarah?" Jimmy asked his friend eagerly.
"Almost, Jimmy," Sarah replied. The buzzer on their play oven went off and she pulled out a tray of ten gingerbread men.
"Mmm! I love gingerbread," Jimmy reached for one only to have Sarah slap his hand away.
"No, Jimmy. Don't you remember what happened last time?" Sarah grabbed Jimmy's arm and pulled him out of the room just as Jonny drifted by the window. He was sitting in a laundry basket with four helium-filled balloons tied to it.
"Wow! Check me out, Plank! I'm an astronaut!" Jonny shouted, turning to Plank who was drifting nearby in a similar contraption.
"Hey Kev. What's up?" Kevin stopped tossing his baseball up and down. Looking up, he saw Nazz grinning down at him. He quickly stood up and leaned against the fence in a very fashionable manner.
"Oh, hey Nazz. Not much," he answered with a smirk. "You wanna play ball?" he asked, remembering the baseball in his hand.
"Sure!" she nodded.
"Cool! So do you want to bat or throw?"
"Uh…throwing's fine with me."
"Okay, go to the mount then," Kevin grabbed his bat while Nazz ran out to the field. He threw her the baseball when she reached the pitcher's mound.
"Ready?" she asked.
"You bet," Kevin gripped the bat.
Nazz threw the baseball to home base and Kevin hit it. It soared over both of their heads and disappeared at the horizon.
"Awesome, Kev!" Nazz cheered.
"Not to bad to say the least," Kevin gloated.
"Hey look, Plank! A baseball!" Jonny eagerly pointed at the soaring sphere. It flew skyward and popped one of the balloons. The laundry basket began to lose altitude as it slowly descended to the ground, but Jonny fortunately leapt into Plank's laundry basket.
"I'm sorry, buddy. If I would have known a baseball was gonna make me fall, you think I'd be up here?"
"Hurry up, Marie!" Lee's voice rang throughout the entire trailer.
"I'm coming!" Marie hollered back. She walked into the kitchen to see Lee washing dishes. She turned around to leave.
"Marie! Where do you think you're going?! Take these clothes out to May!"
"Alright, alright," Marie complained, picking up the laundry basket and bringing it outside.
"Put up these clothes," Marie ordered May.
"I don't see why I have to do this," May complained.
"You're the youngest, stupid."
May threw a wet sock at her.
"Why you-" Marie balled her hands into fists, but never got any further.
"Hey, look up there!" May pointed up.
"It's just the sky, May," Marie rolled her eyes.
A baseball came down on them like a stray meteor and hit Marie square on the forehead.
"Oh look, Marie, it's a baseball," May picked the baseball up and began throwing it up and down.
"What was your first clue, idiot," Marie stood up and stole the baseball. "Come on, we're not done yet!" She threw it back up in the air.
"Oh no, Plank! It's coming again!" Jonny shouted. Once again, the baseball hit their lone aircraft. They both began falling, falling, falling. Down and down they fell, until-
"Hey Nazz, is that a pumpkin?" Kevin asked, squinted at the falling object.
A/N- So I've decided to rewrite this story so it doesn't sound as crappy as it did before. I'll post one chapter every two weeks hopefully, and finally finish this monster off cos it's really bugging me. This is a parody of The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz, obvious enough from the title. If you don't want to read it, obviously don't. For those who do, please review and tell me how I can improve. No flames, though! Thanks!