Hello people! I've written this one-shot for my Aussie mate Brooke, hopefully this will cheer you up a bit darlin! Huggles
Hope you like!
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Another white wall…that's all I seem to be seeing lately.
Thinking about it, you usually associate white with good things, bright and happy, but for me, I just link it to pain and anguish.
I've been sitting in this hospital for weeks now, I haven't left, how could I when the one I love is laying there, barley alive?
Looking at him now, he looks a lot better, he's got more colour in his cheeks, doesn't look so pale.
That's another thing that white has ruined for me, a few weeks ago he was deadly white…disturbingly white…I thought he was dead on several occasions, but to my relief he wasn't, it scares me, even now.
But, he's still critical, whether he ever comes out of that state is still unknown, and it hurts, it pains me, not knowing.
I feel angry, he shouldn't be here, and he did nothing wrong… if anything he is a hero… but he is here and I remember why very well, those images will never be erased from my mind.
We were walking down the street like normal, him and me hand in hand, we'd been dating for five weeks and two days that day, not that I'd been counting…
Anyway, we were waiting on the pavement, waiting to cross the street, when a little boy dropped his ball and it bounced onto the other side of the road, the kid ran out to get the ball just as a car came really fast round the corner…
From that point everything went in slow motion, he let go of my hand and ran out into the road pushing the boy so hard he was flung back onto the pavement…instead the car went straight into him…it was horrible…I remember it exactly, the car smashed into him with such force he was flung onto the bonnet of the car, up onto the roof and then fell right off the back, the sound was a sickening crack…but that wasn't all, there was a car behind that couldn't brake in time…it ran right over him….
I felt paralyzed, I couldn't move, all I could do was scream…
Now he's here, he came here with a punctured, completely messed up lung, his knee shattered, shoulder broken, three broken ribs, and internal bleeding, his head was also badly injured, they don't know if he's brain damaged or anything, they need to wait for him to wake up, if he even wakes up…
This happened four weeks ago exactly, they managed to stop the internal bleeding, but have only just been able to find a donor for a lung…he has a rare blood type so he needed to wait…I just thank god he's got one in time, which is something he doesn't really have to waste at the moment.
The doctor came in, and I smile at him, he was a nice guy but I couldn't pronounce his name, he was from Russia, like Kai and had impossibly long last name, so I just called him Dr. Czeko for short.
"We're ready for him now…" he said gently, placing a hand on his shoulder.
I hated those words, yet I loved them, I hated them because I knew once he'd gone in, he may not come out, it haunted me, I know he'll be ok, I do, but there's still that element of fear.
The doctor gave me five minutes when he saw me begin to cry, and gratefully I accept them, treasuring every precious second.
He left the room, and I turned to the boy lying before me.
I run my fingers through the silver-blue hair that I loved so much, he never understood why I liked it so much, but it's just so unique and suits him beautifully, silver at the front, sapphire-blue at the back…perfect.
I whisper to him, in hope he can hear me, I tell him he's going to be ok, and not to be afraid, because he'll get through this, he'll be alright, he'll soon be back to normal and lead his normal life, with me, and the team.
I kiss him on the forehead, I know we're running out of time, and I squeeze his hand, and for a second, just a second, I could've sworn I felt a tiny response, did he hear me?
The doctor returned, saying that my time was up; they'd waited as long as they could.
I nodded reluctantly; I didn't want to let him go, but I knew it would be worthwhile.
A few more doctors came in, and put a mask around his face, which they told me was anesthetic, within minutes they started to wheel him out the room, all I could do was blow him a kiss goodbye…
Seconds became minutes…minutes became hours…but the seconds themselves felt like hours…I can't take this, I can't take not knowing, what's happening to him? What are they doing to him?
I sat in his room; waiting, just waiting, nothing else came into my head, just those thoughts.
I looked at the clock, four hours had passed by, but to me, it had felt like days.
Every time a nurse or doctor passed, my head automatically snapped up, hoping one of them had news.
Finally, my hopes were no longer needed; Doctor Czeko came in the room.
"How is he!" I asked immediately.
The doctor smiled, "The operation was a success, but we've done all we can, now it's up to him…"
I let out a sigh of relief, I knew it all along, I knew he'd do it, and as for the rest being up to him, well, he's not the kind to give up, so I have no worries there.
I ran my fingers through my black hair, all I want is for him to be back in my arms.
I heard a noise and looked up, some surgeons wheeled my boyfriend back into his room and lifted him gently back onto his bed, I smiled, and he still look like an innocent child, after all this.
I heard Doctor Czeko clear his throat, and I looked up.
"Well as I said, the operation was a success, but now it's up to him, if he doesn't wake within a week, then I'm afraid he won't ever wake…"
I nodded, but I knew already, it wouldn't be long before I saw those dazzling eyes again.
All I do now I guess…is wait.
Nine Days Later.
I can't believe it…he hasn't woken…I was so sure he would…. ok, I have to be rational about this, I'm sure they don't mean EXACTLY a week…
My head snapped up when I heard someone come in, it was Doctor Czeko; with a very glum expression on his face…I felt my heart shatter.
"Rei…I'm very sorry…he won't wake…"
I felt the tears roll down my cheek hysterically, this couldn't be happening.
"You don't know that for sure, please! Give him some more time! He'll wake!" I said, trying to reassure Dr. Czeko and myself.
He gave me the most genuine look of sympathy.
"Rei…I'm sorry, but he will not wake, I know this must be very difficult for you, but, we got five doctors opinions and they all came out for the worst…Rei, we're going to have to turn the life support machine off…"
I felt myself numb, I felt like I was the lifeless one…
"Please…just a little longer…." I pleaded.
Dr. Czeko shook his head.
"Rei, I'm sorry, but there is no way he will wake now…we all did the best we could…"
I broke down, I cried hysterically, no way could this be happening…he wasn't going to wake…I would never see him smile…hear his voice…
Dr. Czeko put his hand on my shoulder.
"From what you've told me, Kai seems to be a very proud young man…at least you know this way he'll go with dignity…he won't spend his life hooked to a machine, achieving nothing when his dreams were so high…I know it is oh so easy for me to say…but this is the kindest thing for him…I know you want to hang on to him…but think about what is best for Kai… I'll give you some time to think it over…."
He left…and I was crushed…how could he expect me to so willingly let him go? How? My Kai was a fighter…wait…still is a fighter…I don't care what the doctors say, I know him more than anyone, he doesn't give up so easily.
But…what if they are right? No, I can't think that…he wouldn't leave me…ever…
I carried on telling myself this over and over, I held his hand the whole time, if…and I say IF…his time is up…I need to know that he knows that I'm here…and I'm never going away….
I told myself this until three doctors came in, one of them being Dr. Czeko.
I turned to them.
"Rei, I know you still think he will wake, but I'm afraid there really is no hope…I'm sorry."
I felt my tears come again.
"Why do you have to do this? Surely you can give him some more time?"
The doctors shook there heads sadly, "I'm sorry Rei…. it's time…"
I cried again, it's all I could do, I felt worthless, and helpless, I'd let Kai down….
Dr. Czeko walked up to the life-support machine at a painfully slow pace, and stood beside it.
"…Are you ready Rei? Would you like to say goodbye?"
I nodded through the mass of tears streaming down my face, and I stepped forward.
I can't…I can't say goodbye…I refuse to say those words…so I leant over and kissed him on the top of his head and whispered to him in my language, he could speak it too, at least it was something personal.
I pulled up a chair and sat next to him, holding his hand tightly, the doctors didn't even acknowledge this.
Dr. Czeko took a deep breath, "Rei, we're turning it off now…"
I cried. That's all I could do. Cry.
I looked up and saw Dr. Czeko's hand on the switch; I grabbed Kai's hand tighter.
I watched in numbness and horror as he flicked the switch…and I felt sickened and empty when I heard the heart monitor start to slow and finally flatten…
I felt my whole world shatter…in a split second I'd lost everything.
I felt him go limp in my hands…. he was gone…he died…and I couldn't help him.
I felt…an indescribable feeling of loss, grief, emptiness and guilt, he was the one I loved, I was the one he loved, and now, now we were separated it hurt…it hurt so much.
Dr. Czeko put his hand on my shoulder, and told me I had to come with them to sort some things out.
I couldn't believe him…how could he be so insensitive…Kai was gone and all he cared about was the paper work…
They left the room and I finally got the strength to tear myself away from the lifeless form of my love…it felt like I was tearing my heart and soul in two…
I started to walk towards the door.
"Didn't…think…I'd…give up…. so easily…did you?" came a familiar voice.
I spun round, and my hopes were confirmed, amazing crimson eyes gazed tiredly at me.
He smiled at me, "Of course I am…I'm too…stubborn…. to die…"
I laughed through my tears, which were now falling happily down my face, I ran back and flung my arms around him.
He was alive! I knew he would be!
4 Months Later.
"Rei! I can do it you know!" Kai said angrily to me, but I just sniggered, he'd been trying to get out of his bed, and being as stubborn as he is he won't let me help.
"Kai, I'm only helping you up, now where are your crutches?"
Kai glared at me and pouted, I'd been fussing over him since he got let out of hospital last month, but the doctors said he needed as much rest as possible!
"Rei, we're gonna be late!" he whined, "I told you not to make me lay down! It takes me forever to get back up!"
I rolled my eyes and pulled him up and helped him steady, I handed him his crutches and we walked out the door, me carrying the cases, as Kai obviously couldn't.
I sat him in the car and I got into the drivers seat and started the engine.
"You ready Kai?" I ask him, seeing his face looking back at our home, with certain sadness etched in.
"Yeah…" he said to me quietly, "Just sad to say goodbye to this place…before I…before I couldn't do stairs anymore and stuff I adored this house…but…I guess everything has to change…"
I grabbed his hand, "You'll be able to walk properly again…it'll just take time…" He nodded with a tear going down his face and he quickly wiped it away.
"Hey, as long as we're together I don't care where we are…" I tell him.
"Even if I can't walk or do anything myself?" he asked sadly, and I looked at him surprised.
"You really think I'd stop loving you because you can't do some things yet?" I asked him.
Kai shrugged, "I don't know…"
I pulled him over and kissed him gently, "Well if anything I love you more, if it's possible…"
He smiled at me, I missed his smile, and I haven't seen him smile for a while due to obvious circumstances.
"Well…China here we come…" he said to me grabbing my hand again, "I'm sure I'll love the new house as much as this one…" he said and I smiled at him, and we drove off, the setting sun gleaming over the horizon, it was the perfect end, and the perfect beginning.
As we drove, I couldn't help but recollect the events of the past few months.
The boy that sat beside me, grasping my hand, shouldn't be here… the doctors saw him for dead…but somehow he lived, and I thank God constantly for bringing him back to me, looking back, I always knew it would turn out this way, I knew he would do it….I knew he would pull through.
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Finished, sorry if it's no good, I wrote it for my little mate! And Brooke, I wrote this in hope that it will cheer you up, if I wrote something stupid, tell me and I'll change it!
I hope you all liked it!