A/N: Hello! I'm back with another story! This may be highly confusing to a lot of people since sometimes you can't separate the actions from the speeches. This is in MY POV so I'm the one doing mostly all the talking and stuff. So enjoy and RR please!
Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh.
Bloom's Guide on How to Chase/Torture/Annoy Your Favorite Characters
Chapter One: Seto Kaiba
A small lit room appeared out of the darkness. "Is everything ready?" I asked. Nothing, nobody answered. "Hello?" I yelled again. Still nothing, nobody answered back. "YOU ANSWER ME AND YOU ANSWER ME NOW!"
"We're on!" someone randomly shouted.
"Hi, Bloom here. Ever wanted to chase your favorite character with a giant mallet but just couldn't get enough? Or maybe with too many fan people around? Or that you just want to torture them but get caught every time?
"Well, this is it. Your guide on how to do so. First up, this is difficult since there are many types of fan girls out there. Normal, hyperactive, and the crazy kind. Well this is for the obsessed kind…….Which is like what? All you people? Just kidding, let's get started! First up in this guide if Seto Kaiba!
"Why the fan girls chase the CEO… Well, this is dumb…..Just look at the guy. He's cold, he's heartless, his haircut cost more than Joey's house. Yeah, I can see why now. To chase the CEO, well, the guy's like a walking, talking back for crying out loud! He got people everywhere protecting him. But there is still a way to lure him out of his company. Earlier I tried a different way and it didn't work out very well…"
I stand outside Kaiba Corp looking for rocks to throw at the CEO. "I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, KAIBA! I KNOW YOU'LL COME OUT! YOU'LL HAVE TO INSULT PEOPLE SOONER OR LATER! YOU KNOW YOU CAHN'T PASSES A DAY WITHOUT INSULTING SOMEBODY!"
Then a voice cracks up. "Hey who's throwing rocks out here!"
"Uh oh" And I ran away.
I snap back to reality. "Oh, so don't try that, it gets your voice very hoarse. If you want to chase him, you might want to try some of these suggested ways below and oh, if you have a torture/annoying device, please hide it, it scares him. Actually it scares everyone. But don't worry, you don't need to lure him out, he knows he can't pass the day without insulting someone at least one in every five seconds.
Suggested Ways to Chase the Guy Who's Made Out of Money
"One: Chase with a giant mallet, hammer, flamethrower, or any device of your choice. Why we want to smash our favorite characters? I have no idea, but its fun, try it sometimes!
"Two: Sometimes chasing Kaiba can be VERY hard and tiring since the guy has some long legs! No offence but he look like a ostrich without wings and a beak. You can make him come to you instead of the way around. How? Simple, you just need a mirror. Shine it in his face and he'll chase YOU just to look at his reflection a bit longer. One time, I think he sang to his reflection…..O.o
"Three: Reveal one of his deepest secrets so he'll come to cover up your mouth. What secrets? Well, try this…..
"KAIBA, I KNOW YOU SLEEP WITH PINK, FLUFFY BUNNIES AND TEDDY BEARS!" or "I KNOW YOU SING KAROKE AND THAT YOU SING IN YOUR SLEEP! I KNOW, I RECORDED IT!"
"You know you didn't really record it but hey, it works. Now on to the next one on how to annoy him!
Suggested Ways to Torture Seto Kaiba Who Looks in the Mirror More Than Yugi
"One: Pretend to insult Yugi or somebody when he's looking so he'll think you stole his insulting job.
"Two: Have Bakura send his collection of Blue Eyes White Dragons dolls to the shadow realm one by one while he's watching, helplessly that is.
"Three: Have Ryou sing the alphabet to him while he's being tied up so he'll have to listen helplessly.
"Four: Replace all his so call action figures, we all know they're really dolls, with Barney stuff. Then lure him in and lock the door. Do it, it burns his eyes.
"Five: Take his beloved hair styling kit and pour out their contents into another container, then fill up the bottles with water. Then, you pour out the water from the bottles one by one out the window with him watching and crying at the same time. Little does he know that the water from the bottles isn't really the real stuff… Oh well.
"Six: Mess up his hair. WARNING: RESULTS OF SUCH ACTIONS MAY INCLUDE THE CEO KICKING AND SCREAMING TRYING TO DEFEND HIS HAIR, SO I HIGHLY SUGGEST TO NOT ATTEMPT NUMBER SIX.
"Oh and while you fan girls are doing this, be sure to take A LOT of pictures, they could sell for millions! Oh and doing number six may results in a lot of bruises and stuff. Kaiba will go beyond his limits to protect his hair so please watch out, you have been warned. And this is my motto to all those favorite characters out there and I speak for us all.
We chase/torture/annoy you because we care!
"It's true, you know…… Okay, this is Bloom Flower, signing out. So please come back and we'll discuss another favorite character. How to chase/torture/ and annoy them. Bye bye now!"
End of Chapter One
A/N: Weird, strange, highly confusing, yeah I know. Please RR and tell me if you can comprehend this. No flames, if you don't like it in any way possible, then don't review.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh and Barney. Thank you.