Okay, here goes a one-shot that I wrote a while ago, I was pretty bored so I hope you like it:D
"What in bloody h-"

Richard Roxburgh leaped back, nearly knocking over the cameraman, as a giant bat-like creature flapped its way through the set. Steven Sommers shouted, "Film it! Film it!" Seeing the insane gleam in his eyes, the cameraman hastily complied.

Rox watched, a look of complete disbelief on his handsome face, as the thing landed on an overhead beam and transformed into…him.

It was definitely him, or at least his character. Same sharp features, same dark eyes and long dark hair pulled back with a silver clip, same regal cape, same…wow, I really am good-looking. He shook his head. Wait…

"Dracula! Wait!" Rox blinked as an extremely clumsy version of his co-actor came running through the set, tripping over several wires as he did so.

Hugh Jackman looked askance at Richard, who grinned somewhat evilly.

Van Helsing lurched to a halt and stared at them. He seemed a bit on the slow side, considering how he was standing there gaping at something directly behind Rox and Hugh.

"G'day, mate," Rox said genially, thinking that it couldn't get any odder than this. "I'm Richard Roxburgh and this is Hugh-"

"Anna."

"No, Jackman." Rox frowned.

"Anna."

Hugh raised an eyebrow.

"Anna."

Both actors turned around to see Kate Beckinsale emerging from her makeup station. "Hey, Hugh!" she said to Van Helsing, then stopped short. "Hugh? And…Hugh?"

"Anna!"

Van Helsing started toward her. "Who…what?" she asked.

"Kate? Meet Gabriel Van Helsing," Rox said, an amused smirk on his face.

Van Helsing just stared at her.

"What? Is this some kind of joke?"

Then Josie Maran appeared, dressed in her harem-girl outfit, chatting on a cell phone. Before she noticed the oddity before her, a cry was heard…

"Marishka!"

Everyone stopped and stared at the source of the sound. Dracula leaped off his perch and landed gracefully on the ground. Before Josie could do anything, Dracula had appeared in front of her and, pulling her into his arms, set his mouth against hers so hard that she went limp against him.

Rox stared. "I've got to learn how to do that," he remarked to Hugh, who also stood staring.

When Dracula let go, Josie stared up at him. "Rox? Wow, what was that for?"

"Who is this…Rox…that everyone keeps mentioning?"

"That'd be me, mate."

Dracula turned and stared at his double. "Who are you and vhy are you wearing my clothes?"

"Richard Roxburgh, mate. And you are?"

"Count Vladislaus Dragulya."

Rox nodded. "Thought so." He thought it best not to mention that Josie wasn't really Marishka; he hadn't finished reading the script, but he knew she died somewhere in the movie. "And this is Van Helsing himself?"

Dracula rolled his eyes. "The one and only. Do you happen to know how I could get rid of him?" He gestured to the monster hunter.

Van Helsing was still staring at Kate, who had just about made up her mind to go and get her can of Mace.

Josie had finally woken from the trancelike state that Dracula had put her in. "Wait…if you're not Richard, then who are you?"

"I have already introduced myself," Dracula said, annoyed. "Do you not know me, Marishka?"

"I'm not Marishka…"

"How can you not be? You are she, my darling bride." A devilish smile crossed his face—Richard was studying his every move, some of which ended up in the movie—and Dracula whispered something in her ear. She stared at him and then slapped him across the face.

Dracula's eyes flashed blue and he bared his fangs.

"Holy #&! He really is Dracula!" Hugh Jackman's eyes were enormous.

Dracula turned on him. "If this is not Marishka, then where is she?"

The Son of the Devil found himself face-to-face with a glass lens and an overexcited director.

"Can you do that fang thing again, Vlad?"

"Who…who are you?"

"I'm Steven, and this is the digital/CGI crew." Dracula found himself somewhat unnerved as he was approached by a blond young man whose blue eyes, behind his thick glasses, were glittering just a little too brightly…

Twenty seconds later, Dracula found himself running for dear life, screaming at the top of his lungs.


Haha there you go, please reviewbecause I have much, much more where that came from!

etherealfire