Disclaimer: Not mine.
A/N: I was doing a crossword puzzle on the plane, and they asked me for the title of a movie. Turned out to be "To Sir, With Love". Never having seen said movie, I can't speak for the plot, but the title was too good to pass up. This is written in the form of emails between the team, but mainly Carter and O'Neill. It won't let me put the at symbol etc after it, so imagine it's emails to their screen names, ok? Any time after Jack becomes a general. Will probably end up being SJ.
To Sir, With LoveFrom: BetterThanNASA
Subject: Game boy
I suppose you're wondering where your game boy got to. Well, Sir, It's sitting in 15 parts, 14 of which are on my lab bench. I have the other piece with me, and I'm about to go to P7X-412. I didn't want to resort to blackmail, but you haven't checked my last 17 mission reports. They're all in a nice pile in your top drawer, on top of all the unopened Post-It notes and my memos on signing the reports.
On a lighter note, Sir, I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean everyone isn't out to get you". It's true, Sir, the Goa'uld seem to be everywhere and they're always out for our blood.
Please sign those reports,
Subject: I Can't Believe You!
I can't believe you dismantled my game boy! That was evil! You'd better put it back together when you get back. Do you know how long it took to finish all that paperwork? You could have replaced about half of the content with the words "alien doohickey". I couldn't understand most of what you said.
That last one sounded interesting. Amazons, huh? Did they make you wear that Xena outfit? More importantly, does Daniel have pictures?
A semi-benevolent Goa'uld? That's new. I want a briefing on that when you get back.
Your Brilliant CO,
Brilliant, are you now? Why didn't I get that memo? You really should keep the base apprised of any major changes in IQ.
Anyhow, Sir, Bast appears to be an immensely powerful Tok'ra. She's openly told the people of P7X-412 that she isn't a god, but she can protect them from others. Heck, even when they understand what they're getting into, her people offer themselves as jaffa and hosts.
By the way, Sir, did you hire all the lab techs? They're all smart guys, but they're so busy thinking that I'm a dumb blond and staring at my chest that one of them managed to break something I'd spent five hours fixing. I'm going nuts. I think they've been geeks so long that they've never had a social life. Something we all need to be careful of, Sir, and now you too, with this sudden upswing of brain power and all.
First off, calling you Carter is getting annoying. I keep wanting to put "Bellows Mender" or some other old occupation. Stupid, yes, but I'm giving in and using Sam. Don't worry; you're still one of the boys.
The lab techs I hired are staring at your chest? Huh. I had them pegged as leg men, myself. I'm sorry they broke one of your toys. What was it? Naquadriah reactor, alien cloning device?
A tok'ra with jaffa and an empire? How weird is that?
Jack (Sir makes me sound old)
You are old. Older than I am, at least. And you're my commanding officer. Calling you Sir is a sign of respect.
First of all, "one of the boys"? Sir, as much as it may be difficult for you to comprehend, I'm a woman. I still kick ass and I can defend myself against anyone who says differently.
Sir, why did you have my assistants fired? I said nothing about not wanting them around, I just asked if you'd hired them! Please, Sir, I need the help. Remember, there was a reason they were hired in the first place.
A/N: To be continued. I just wanted to post this much now.