Story Details: Set in an AU world where, let's say, that Sasuke didn't go off to Oro. Besides, this story is meant to be fun, so don't expect too many angst-y things nor too much technical stuff. Alright?
Disclaimer: I do not own any (or claim to own) any of Naruto. This is just merely for fun.
Author's Notes: So, yeah. This is just a random fun thing to get the brain juices flowing.
Warnings: The perfection of Kiki, I guess.
It was finally over.
Actually, it wasn't. Not by a long shot.
After Kiki's death, things did not spontaneously go back to normal (as much as Naruto, Kakashi and Itachi wished that it would). After Kiki's rather abrupt death (Itachi still felt cheated), Naruto and Itachi had grabbed Gaara's shirt and hair and quickly left the scene of the crime.
Meeting up with Kakashi in his apartment, they wrestled the shirt back on to Gaara's body and proceeded to pretend that they had been there for the entire evening. Well, Naruto and Kakashi pretended that they had been there for the entire evening whilst Itachi had smirked, smacked Kakashi hard enough to give him a slight concussion and told Naruto that he would be back for Kyuubi in the near future.
He wisely left when Kakashi's coffee cup missing his nose by mere microns.
When Gaara came to the next morning, he was understandably confused about the entire affair. His confusion wasn't helped in any manner when Naruto practically pounced on him and demanded to know his age.
"Eighte- wait, no. Thirteen?"
Even though his answer was phrased like a question, Naruto didn't care. He was always a "the glass is half-full" kind of person anyway.
It seemed like Gaara didn't remember his love affair with Kiki and for that, Naruto was glad.
When Naruto next bumped into Sasuke, the avenger was also understandably confused when the blond squeaked and back-pedalled fast enough to land on his ass.
"What's your problem dobe?" Sasuke looked suitable angry.
Naruto froze and squinted at his recent tormentor. "Do you like me?"
Sasuke froze. "What?"
Oh! There was that famous Uchiha hiss. Naruto grinned and caught his friend in a bear hug.
"I knew it! You hate me, don't you?" Naruto had never looked happier at the prospect of someone hating him.
Sasuke shifted uneasily on his feet. "Well, actually."
Naruto stiffened and detached himself so fast from around Sasuke's shoulders that he got whiplash. I kid you not.
Sasuke growled and swiped at Naruto's head. "I don't hate you alright? You may be annoying and a brat, but I don't hate you. I just don't like you, that's all."
Naruto gave Sasuke The Eye. "So you don't like like me?"
Sasuke stared. "What?"
Naruto fidgeted. "You know! Like like."
Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Are you calling me gay?"
Naruto took one look at the emerging Sharigan, gave a laugh of pure relief and ran as fast he could in the opposite direction. He could finish this conversation another day.
And so, in a similar fashion things slowly, but steadily, returned to normal. Deidera and Sakura broke up when Sakura's father chased the blond man out of the house with a broom.
How dare that weird he-she thing come after his thirteen year old daughter? Didn't that he-she thing have any shame?
Sakura became so traumatised by the whole affair that the dating section of her brain shut down indefinitely. Needless to say, Sasuke was extremely thankful towards this new, less hormonally driven Sakura.
Kisame got his rude awakening about the whole fishnet thing when he glanced into the mirror the day after the battle and saw his- his- his nipples!
Gasping in horror, Kisame folded his arms protectively across his chest and grabbed a shirt. Thoroughly convinced that Kiki had done this purposefully to humiliate him, Kisame vowed to never open his up his heart again and pulled on his Akatsuki cloak. Now more determined than ever to crush all the hidden villages, Kisame left to find Itachi and forever become one of the toughest and cruellest Akatsuki members any of the villages had ever seen. Even Itachi was slightly (only slightly, mind you!) impressed.
Akamaru had been found wondering the streets by Kiba himself. After many apologies (and doggie treats), the small white dog grudgingly followed his master/friend home. Although Kiba was not exactly sure of what he was apologising for, he did so willingly because it was obvious that that was what Akamaru had been expecting.
When Kiki's body had finally been found, the funeral turnout had been huge. Her cause of death of officially ruled as a suicide and the peoplel of Konoha mourned the fact that they couldn't help her when she was alive. Kiki was well loved and it showed, for even the skies cried for her. Her bravery, selflessness and kind-hearted nature were recounted in great, mind-numbing detail by Tsunade and not a dry eye was left by the end of it. Except, that is, for Kakashi and Naruto. The two rested contently in the knowledge that one day their village will see the truth about Kiki and when that came, they were going to be the first by her grave with a shovel and a box of matches.
Somehow, it shouldn't have been a surprise when a lightning bolt struck the ground just as Kiki was being laid into the earth.
It shouldn't have been a surprise that after everyone had blinked the stars out of their eyes it was only to see an unfamiliar girl lying exactly where the lightning bolt had struck.
It shouldn't have been a surprise when the girl slowly sat up, her auburn hair glistening enticingly due to the rain.
It shouldn't have been a surprise to see the brilliant emerald colour of her eyes when she opened them to peer curiously at the new environment around her. Her porcelain face only added to her almost inhuman beauty.
And it most definitely shouldn't have been a surprise when she gave a gasp of recognition upon seeing Kakashi (Kakashi felt a bead of sweat roll down his back in something that greatly resembled fear). Naruto gave a strangled gurgle beside him, coming to the same realisation.
It shouldn't have been a surprise, and yet, it was.
"Who are you?" Tsunade finally asked, approaching the girl that reminded her so much of Kiki and at the same time seemed to be so different.
The brilliant emerald eyes sparkled. "Raki. I'm here to look for my best friend, Kiki. Have you seen her?"
The possibly non-existent Great Being just laughed and laughed and laughed.
Author's Note: My dears, you couldn't possibly think that I would leave as I did in the previous chapter, would you? –evil smirk–
But this is the end (really!). Hope it has made you laugh.
(The previous chapter holds the "serious" AN where I make my thank you speeches and so one and so forth)