With a Rope
Rated PG-13 for slash
Disclaimer: Static Shock isn't mine. Though if the creators ever want to sell the rights to Shiv, I'd be more than happy to put in a bid…
Authors Note: Wow, it's been so long since I've written fanfiction for a cartoon. It's somewhat odd, but oh well. I love the couple, and this fic was a lot of fun to write! I also love the game featured in this fic; I play it all the time. And do note that all fortunes used are real ones. Anyways, beware the PWPness and some slight OOCness. I tried my best to stay in character, but you'll have to forgive me when I stray a bit… And yay for crack couples; they make the world go round! Have fun with this fic. I might do some more if people want me to… smile
Flames do nothing but make me laugh, although I'll listen to any CC you have. Please read, review, and enjoy! Finished 4-5-05
"Look, I know you're like, part Asian or something, but do we really have to eat this junk?" Francis glared down at the brown goop on his plate as he complained. Shiv swore it was some chicken thing he couldn't pronounce, but the disgruntled redhead had his doubts. It was probably some cat that ran away from home... It had probably belonged to some rich old lady who called it Commodore Fluffy Paws… He really needed to stop hanging out with Shiv.
"Come on Francis, it's good! And I'm sick of burgers all the time…" Shiv wouldn't let his companion's bad mood bring him down. He barely ever got to eat Chinese food. And he'd been craving some egg rolls lately…
"At least burgers are cheap. This stuff tastes gross and it's expensive! And don't call me Francis, you psycho…" Shiv ignored the psycho comment. Why get upset over something that was true?
"Quit your whining; we get fortune cookies at least!" Francis rolled his eyes at his fellow bang baby's enthusiasm. Honestly, who could get excited over little cardboard tasting cookies with tiny pieces of paper with idiotic comments in them? Apparently, only Shiv.
"You know where you can put your stupid fortune cookie? Up your-!" Luckily, (or unluckily, depending on how you looked at it; Shiv had quite a clever comeback that he was sure would make big bad Hotstreak blush) their waitress chose that moment to bring them their bill and, of course, their fortune cookies. Shiv's eyes lit up as the plastic wrapped novelties were placed in front of them. He looked like a kid at Christmas time… Francis didn't know whether to be amused or afraid. He settled for a bit of both.
"You can't seriously like those things…" Shiv snickered as he tore open the package and dumped the contents on the table.
"Are you kidding?" he asked, as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. "I don't actually eat them, they taste like cardboard! I just like the fortunes. Come on, come on! Open yours too!" Francis rolled his eyes and sighed, but complied nonetheless. Might as well humor his deranged friend…
"Fine," he growled, crunching the cookie in its bag until it was mere dust. Then he ripped open the top and dropped the powder on the table, his fortune sitting in the middle of the former cookie. "There, happy?" Shiv nodded, a huge grin planted firmly on his face.
"Read it, read it, read it! Then we can play the fortune cookie game!" Francis didn't know what the "fortune cookie game" was, nor did he think he wanted to know. But as usual, he found himself doing as Shiv asked. He refused to think that this mentally unbalanced bang baby had any power over him. Because it wasn't true, really it wasn't… He decided to just hurry up and read his fortune before he went any further with that train of thought.
"Anything will work if you try hard enough." There, that wasn't so bad… But then why was Shiv looking at him so expectantly? "What?" Shiv sighed, looking exasperated.
"We're playing the fortune cookie game! You have to say it!" Okay, now he was sure he didn't want to know what this game was all about. But naturally, the curious part of his mind just had to know…
"I've never played this game before, genius. Care to tell me what I have to do?" Yeah, that maniacal grin was defiantly a bad sign…
"After you read your fortune, you have to add 'in bed with a rope'!"
Francis blinked. A few times actually. Did Shiv seriously say "in bed with a rope"? Yes, yes he did. And was Francis really going to go along with this childish, perverted game? Oh yes, yes he was.
"Okay… Anything will work if you try hard enough in bed with a rope." That being said, everything was silent at the two bang babies' table for almost thirty seconds.
Then Shiv burst out in hysterical laughter.
"You said that with such a straight face! Hahaha! Oh, that was great!" Francis resisted the urge to choke the light welder. He had to keep reminding himself that Shiv was crazy and couldn't help it…
"Will you shut up and read yours already?"
"But how can I shut up and read at the same time?"
"Just read it!" Shiv's grin remained as he did just that.
"Find release from your cares and have a good time in bed with a rope." That set him off laughing just as hard. Francis had to admit that he saw the humor in the game. And Shiv's was much better than his was. The thought of Shiv having a good timed in bed with a rope was rather hot… Oh great, now he was becoming perverted. He needed some new friends…
"Hey look, they gave us an extra one!" The pyro's thoughts were interrupted when Shiv gave his exclamation. Another cookie? Another perverted fortune that could give him bad mental images? Sounded like fun!
Before he could comment, Shiv already had the fortune out and was reading it. Though unlike before, he wasn't laughing. However, there was a strange glint in his eyes…
And Francis was becoming impatient.
"Are you going to read it or not?" Shiv smirked, giving the pyromaniac the "I-know-something-you-don't-know" look.
"I knew you'd like this game. And since I wouldn't want to keep you in suspense…"
He paused for dramatic effect.
"…An unexpected relationship will become permanent in bed with a rope."
Francis couldn't understand why Shiv wasn't in hysterics. That was the most perverted one yet…
Then it clicked. The gleam in his eyes. The very apparent leer. They had an unexpected relationship, in the form of a friendship neither of them could explain. And if it was to become permanent… Wow. That sounded pleasurable.
"I have a bed." Shiv looked absolutely ecstatic at Francis's understanding.
"And I have a rope!" Francis had to admit, he was downright thrilled too.
"Then let's go!" Shiv threw down some money down, and they quickly got up from their table. In a rare moment of out-of-characterness, Francis picked Shiv up bridal style and carried him out of the restaurant; much to Shiv's combined amusement and delight, and much to the other customer's confusion. You'd think they'd never seen two criminals about to go and strengthen their relationship in bed with a rope…
On the way out the door, they passed two teenagers about their age, who were left with their mouths hanging open at the peculiar sight. The bang babies paid them no attention and continued on their way.
Richie turned to Virgil, his face disbelieving.
"Was that what I think it was?" Virgil nodded, mouth agape.
"Uh huh." The blonde raised an eyebrow as he tried to make sense of everything.
"Do I want to know?" Virgil shook his head.
"Nope, probably not." Richie shrugged; that was fine by him.
"Okay then, let's go eat! We can play the fortune cookie game when we're done…"
Maybe Francis and Shiv wouldn't be the only ones having some fun with a rope that night…