AOU: yeah! Third Naruto fanfic! I'm on fire!

Sasuke: (performs hand seals) that can be arranged...

AOU:no...bad Sasuke! Bad! I WAS your number fangirl! But now I think I'm Neji's!

Sasuke: in your face, Hyuuga

Neji: shut up, Uchiha

Shika: che, how troublesome. Alchemist of...(stares) Uchiha!

Aou: continue...

Shika: Alchemist of uchiha doesn't own Naruto or anything else in this fic.

AOU: yeah! So, stay away, lawyers!

Lawyers: aw...

Chapter 1: Good luck or Bad luck?

Kakashi's team, Asuma's team, Kurenai's team, the Sand sibs and Gai's team were all sitting, bored, in the Konoha Forest. Their senseis were out on a mission and wouldn't be back in a while. "I'm bored," Naruto said, stating the obvious.
"Isn't that obvious?" snarled Kankurou (AOU: whoo! he didn't say 'jyan'!)
"What do you want to do?" Shikamaru asked boredly.
Ino took out a deck of cards and held it in the air. "Who wants to play strip poker? Or that game Sakura made up, the one where if you lose, you have to kiss someone of your choice!"
"Neji's team is 14 and we're 13.Um, not surehowold the Sand Sibs are...but, still!We're too young to be playing strip poker and who would want to play something Sasuke-fangirls made up?" Kiba growled, turning to his puppy. "Right Akamaru?" "ARF!"
Sakura and Ino looked at each other, "um...sasuke-fangirls?" They stopped staring at everyone and settled in for staring, lovesick, at Sasuke, who, not lovesick, did not even acknowledge them with a look.
"I w-w-wonder where K-Kakashi-sensei, Asuma-sensei and K-Kurenai-sensei are?" Hinata stuttered, "And G-Gai-sensei too!"
Where the Jounins are
The four Jounin teachers were hanging out at a bar, discussing their Genins and Chuunin. "I dib speaking for the Sand sibs!" Kakashi raised his hand.
Gai's eyes went on fire. Damn it, Kakashi! Taking such a cool and hip position in a cool and hip style! No wonder you're my eternal rival!
Kurenai nodded and continued their brief discussion, which had started when Kakashi said, 'I dib speaking for the Sand sibs!'. The red-eyed Jounin took a swig of whiskey and observed, "The rookie 9 getes along okay, I guess. But in a mission, the ninjas must learn to work together quickly and silently, without asking each other who's in the cockpit of the team."
Jiraiya, who was hanging out with them, gave a giggle at the word, 'cockpit' and Kurenai slapped him across the cheek.
Kakashi and Asuma were about to speak when the door slammed open and the Godaime Hokage, a.k.a. Tsunade, walked into the room. She sat in an empty spot between Jiraiya and Kurenai and ordered to the bartender. "One bottle of sakura sake!" After the bartender gave her the bottle, she opened it and downed a quarter of the bottle in one go. Then, turning to the others, she said, "I have an idea that envolves the Sand Sibs, Gai's Team and the Rookie 9!"
"Really? We were just talking about how they should learn to work as a team!"
"Just what I was thinking," Tsunade gave a loud, demented, evil laugh that sent shudders down the backs of people that weren't too familiar with her. Kakashi, Jiraiya, Kurenai, Gai and Asuma were totally used to this, as Tsunade did this everyday, and everytime they heard it, they felt sorry for the Godaime's aide, Shizune.
"Anyway," Tsunade stopped laughing abruptly and Kurenai wondered whether or not it was a fake laugh."sorry for losing my head there. Raidou and Genma have reported that there's a haunted mansion outside our village gates. The mansion is being inspected and put on TV for the whole world on a show called, 'Let's inspect old houses!'. I booted off that show and added a new one, 'Konoha to Suna Shinobi' (Konoha and Sand Shinobi). There's only one episode and it'll take up a good portion of the week. Don't worry, I gave everybody in the village a special potion that will allow them to stay awake forever!" Tsunade gave another demented, evil, loud laugh that made Kakashi want to open his Icha Icha Paradise book, cover his ears and start reading.
"Actually," Tsunade stopped laughing. "It'll just keep them awake for a week."
Kurenai sweatdropped. "When do we tell them?" Tsunade smirked. "Right now. Take them and meet me at the village gates. Tsunade, signing off." She disappeared in a puff of smoke, then re-appeared to grab her sake. She smiled, embarassed, before taking a swig of sake and disappearing.
At the Genins and Chuunin
"ACK!" Kiba screeched, leaping backwards. A puff of smoke appeared a whisker from where he was before and their senseis stepped out.
"K-K-Kurenai-sensei?"
"KAKASHI-SENSEI!"
"Gai-sensei! I missed you so much!"
"Oh crap, it's Asuma."
"Hey, where's Baki-sensei?"
"Aha! Ero-sennin!"
"Stop calling me that!" shreiked Jiraiya. After a while, he regained his composure and told the Genins and Chuunin about 'Konoha to Suna Shinobi'.Everybody was totally shocked.
"WHAT!" Naruto
"..." Sasuke
"Th-That's horrible!" Sakura
"JYANARROOOOO!" Inner Sakura
"Akamaru, don't worry, I'll protect you!" Kiba
"..." Shino. Translation: WHAT THE HELL?
"Wh-Wh-What the h-h-hell!" Hinata
"Ah, how troublesome." Shikamaru
"At least it's a mansion...Ino, receiving glares from her friends.
"Is there food?" Chouji
"..." Neji
"..." Tenten
"WHOOPEE!" Lee
"..." Gaara
"Nani jyan..." Kankurou
"That is the worst news I've ever heard, besides the one when Gaara destroyed half our apartment." Temari
"Uh...yeah, this won't be easy." Jiraiya murmured. He hadn't told them it would be on TV. He just told them to stay in there for a while until they called them back out again, which would be hopefully be within a week's time.
"We'll have to knock them out." Kurenai whispered. "It might not be easy knocking out Sasuke and Neji." Kakashi observed
"I have a plan." Asuma jumped forwards and knocked everyone except Sasuke and Neji, out.
Sasuke grinned happily and Neji gave a 'hmph' of admiration.
"Good!" Kakashi gave a small smile. "Now, follow us."
"Whatever." The two genins followed Kurenai as she lead the way to Konoha gates.
At the mansion
"Nice mansion." Sasuke deadpanned. He and Neji had been knocked out by Tsunade and had been tossed inside. Everybody had awakened and they were screaming. "AAAH! WHERE'S THE LIGHTS?"
"AAAHH! SPIDER!"
"AAAAHHH! SPIDERWEBS!"
"AAAAHHH! TOO LOUD!"
Outside...
"Hoho. I inserted cameras in every corner of every room in that mansion So, there's a lot of TVs!" Tsunade gave her demented laugh again.
Kurenai smiled, "Let's go to your office to watch then!"
"I'll make the popcorn!" Asuma volunteered
"I'll get the sake!" Jiraiya volunteered
"I won't do anything!" kakashi...uh...volunteered
At the Mansion
"Great, just great." Shikamaru sighed. "It's troublesome but let's go find rooms where we sleep in, make them comfy and we'll meet here when we're done, kay?"
"Kay!" Everybody agreed. Kiba zoomed upstairs with Akamaru on his head and explored the whole second floor. He froze as he counted the rooms, then called down to the others below, who were still on the stairs. "How many people are there here!"
"15..." Gaara muttered.
"15 huh...?" Kiba gave a nervous smile. "Um...sorry to say this but there's only 5 rooms..."
"WHAT?"

AOU: I will end the first chapter here. How'd'you like it?

Sasuke: A mansion with only two floors asnd five bedrooms...

AOU: Its' long and wide, not tall, okay!"

Neji:...

AOU: Great, huh? Don't worry, I THINK I have everything worked out...anyway, please review!

Neji: I with she didn't get addicted with Naruto, otherwise, we'd be safe...