A/N: This story was started a long, long time ago Half-blood prince was published, so some things will go against cannon in later chapters. Please keep that, and the fact that this is an AU, in mind.

Disclaimer: Basically everything belongs to the mind of J.K, Rowling except for the Hitchhiker quotes which are the work of Douglas Adams


"This must be Thursday, I never could get the hang of Thursdays."

-Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy


Chapter One


"The story so far:

In the beginning the Universe was created.

This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

-Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy


"I don't understand this spell, honey pie, can you tutor me?" a very attractive teenage girl shouted across the Gryffindor common room. She was sitting with a group of giggling girls, clearly not studying. They were in fact doing their nails, using their Charms books as foot rests. The girl had long silkily straight brown hair, perfectly straight white teeth, and vacant looking brown eyes. Under her Hogwarts uniform, she wore a very tight blue tank top and tight low-ride jeans.

The boy she was yelling at was also sat in the middle of a crowd of people. He looked up when she shouted, smirking. He was undeniably very attractive, with jet-black hair that never seemed to lie flat, no that he minded. In fact, when he thought no one was looking he was known to pull his fingers through it, trying to give it that windblown loo. His emerald green eyes always seemed to sparkle and he could always be seen laughing and joking with a crowd of friends. Or, as was about to happen, kissing his girlfriend, Hermione Granger.

"Sure, baby," Harry Potter yelled back across the common room at Hermione as he got up amongst loud jeers and hoots from his friends, crossing over to Hermione's group of friends. The girls around Hermione started to giggle uncontrollable as she stood up and the two of them went off to find a dark corner.

"Well, looks like we wouldn't be getting into our dorm tonight," a red-haired freakily faced Ron Weasley half-joked, shooting an annoyed look at his best friend. The other boys sitting around him laughed.

One of them, Dean Thomas, a handsome black boy, quickly changed the subject.

"So any ideas for tomorrow?" Dean asked the group.

He was of course talking about what the sixth year boys, who had formed an organization for mischief named after their idols, the Marauders, were planning for their next big prank. The group consisted of Harry, who was the unofficial leader, his sidekick Ron, and the others Dean, Seamus, and Neville.

The group was unfortunately not as great as the originals. They had never managed to become animagus for one, though they liked talking about it. They lacked the enthusiasm and for some, talent, of the elderly marauders. Still, they did pull a few funny pranks, that, and the memories of their predecessors stopped the teachers from expelling them. Unfortunately, they had inhered their predecessor's tendency to be slightly stuck up little creeps, but no one's perfect.

Just then the portrait hole opened and two girls entered. They both had long red hair, which reached all the way down their backs, and almond shaped emerald green eyes. One was shorter than the other and freakily, her name was Ginny Weasley. The other, Marie Potter, was pale and much taller. They both wore black tank tops and short black mini-skirts with chains dangling from them, hanging over their fishnet black stockings.

"Hey girls," Dean called the couch, "had any luck tonight?"

"Hey that's my sister you're talking to," Ron grumbled, though he didn't seem to mind all that much. The two girls had had more boyfriends than anyone in the history of the school, including both sets of Marauders. They did have one stick rule, no sex, which made them the object of much teasing amongst the male population of Hogwarts. It was all friendly, the two best friends were liked by basically everyone, even the Slytherins.

"I know man," Dean replied winking at the girls, "What are you going to do about it?"

"Make you piss green and silver," Ron said with a straight face. There was a pause, then everyone around him, including Dean, started to laugh. No one bothered to ask Ron if he could do it, he couldn't.

"So what'd we miss," Ginny asked, ignoring her brother and perching on Dean's armrest, smiling at him.

"Oh the usual, the love birds have found a corner, we're just waiting for them to get back so we can plan our next prank," Seamus told her.

"Hey Harry," Ginny yelled into the corner, "get your butt out here, we're planning."

"Just a sec," Harry called back, sounding out of breath. There came some more giggling from Hermione, then Harry emerged, grinning.

"Honey pie, can't you stay just a little longer," Hermione, cooed.

"Sorry, I have to plan, you know I have a reputation to uphold," Harry told her, panting her butt. Hermione, knowing she would lose if she tried to argue, kissed him one last time and went back to her friends, who were all giggling nonstop.

"God, I can't stand her," Marie complained as Harry joined them, flopping down into the best armchair next to the fire, "she's so annoying and probably has the IQ of a flobberworm."

"Hey, that's my girlfriend you're talking about," Harry said, though he didn't seem too angry, "besides she's a great kisser."

"You're horrible," Ginny complained, "you're using her, but she's just so annoying that I couldn't care less."

"Good, because I'm not listening anyway," Harry shot back at her, playfully.

"Are the two of you done flirting so we can start planning?" Dean joked, causing Harry to give him the evil eye and for Ginny to go slightly red.

"Wait, where's Neville?" Ron asked.

"He's got a detention," Ginny replied glaring at Dean, "he tried to prank McGonagall, idiot, everyone knows that's impossible."

"Nothing's impossible," Harry told her, "just really hard, we'll get her one of these days."

"Yeah, right, keep dre-" Ginny was saying when she was interrupted by a loud bang followed by four people appearing in the middle of the common room.

As not that many students knew it was impossible to apparate inside of Hogwarts this probably wouldn't have caused so much of a stir if it wasn't for one thing… Those four people were already in the room.


"So much for the laws of physics..."

-Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy