By Hadlee May
Summary: Life with Jess in the two years after he leaves Rory's dorm. Jess/Other
Disclaimer: I don't own the song Wounded. I don't own Gilmore Girls. I only own one character, and you'll know who she is when you read it.
AN: I got this idea when listening to the song Wounded by Good Charlotte, so basically Jess's emotions are based on the song, though they aren't clearly depicted in the story the way they are in the song. It took me two days to write this, and I'm extremely proud, so please review. I hope you like it.
It was his fault. He knew it was his fault. He'd been reminded constantly that the reason he had spent two years pining of what he couldn't have was his fault. He'd left. He hadn't said goodbye. He'd come back and said things that would put yet another tail spin on the love of his life's world, only to leave as soon as the words had fallen from his lips.
When it came to Rory Gilmore, Jess Mariano could never thought clearly. He'd picture the conversation in his head. What he was going to say, how he was going to say it, in what proximity he would be of her when he said it. The thinking was pointless. The moment he'd look into her blue eyes, all the words he wanted to say would fade away and everything he wasn't supposed to say would come out.
It had never been his plan, per say, to give her the ultimatum he'd given her. "Come with me." He'd said, "Leave everything behind." he'd begged, "I know you want to." He'd screamed in desperation, but she'd still said no. And with his heart crumbling to pieces he'd walked out of her dorm room, out of the building, and to his car, where he'd finally broken down.
That had been one of the only times he'd allowed himself to cry…over himself, over someone else. Within minutes the tears were gone, and he was pulling out of the parking lot and out of Rory's life.
Two years had gone by, and surprisingly, he'd survived. He called Luke twice a week, and Liz once. A once a month call had been placed to California where he would spend ten minutes speaking to Jimmy and fifty talking to Lily. He'd kept his job as a messenger, and worked a part time job at a book shop on the side to keep himself distracted. (he got discounts on books).
It'd been there were he'd met her. Pisces. Her mom was a professional astrologist and had named her after the sign she'd been born in. Jess remembered thinking she was crazy, but she was good company…when she was trying to do his birth chart…something she tried often.
"I can read you whether or not you give me your information." She'd countered in the break room. She had 'The Only Astrology Book You'll Ever Need' open in front of her, her green eyes staring him down.
"Do you ever get tired of doing this?" He groaned out, turning the page of 'The Old Man and the Sea'. Pisces shook her head excitedly, smiling. "I'm not giving you my birthday." He told her flat out.
"I don't need it…I'm good at guessing…" She flipped through the first chapter several times before stopping at one page. "I assume you're a cancer. It'd explain your crabbiness." She smirked. Jess looked up at her giving her a patented Mariano glare.
"Hmm…and I'll bet anything you have an aquarius rising, maybe virgo…moon in Gemini or maybe pisces." She continued. Jess sighed loudly, setting his book down in aggravation.
"Fine!" He mumbled, "July 13..." He relented, his eyes rolling out of habit at her happiness as she squealed as she pulled an empty sheet of paper out of the back of the book and quickly wrote down the date. He went back to his book but after a few moments felt her stare on him. "Yes?" He questioned without looking at her.
"I need a time." She stated simply, as if she didn't know he was extremely annoyed at him.
"8:30 at night, now leave me alone." He turned another page.
She had quickly went to work figuring him out through astrology, leaving him in the silence of his own world. He remembered her happily telling him that her guesses hadn't been too far off. Cancer, Aquarius rising, moon in Gemini.
In the first few months, Jess read more then he had in his pre and during Rory days, going through book after book. Within a month, he'd gone through his entire Dickens collection, and moved onto the 'His Dark Materials' then quickly moving to 'The Catcher in the Rye' before delving deep into the world of Hemingway. At one point, he'd even stooped to reading Pisces' 'Linda Goldman's Sun Signs', only to find that everything Pisces had said about him was true.
A half a year after his appearance, then disappearance from Rory's dorm, Jess had finally figured out that everyone else was moving on. Luke had called and had accidentally let out that Dean and Rory were dating again. Jess hadn't asked for details and Luke wasn't going to give any so the subject had been changed. The conversation had ended with Nephew asking uncle 'When is your birthday, Uncle Luke?" For some reason he didn't feel bad about making his favorite and only uncle Pisces' new victim.
After the phone call he'd went to Hayden Grant, an old friend of his and drunk himself into a stupor.
It would be the first time he'd call on Pisces for a favor. Opting to not stay with his friend, he'd let his fingers stumble of the numbers on Hayden's kitchen phone and whined until she agreed to come get him. He'd spilled everything to her when they'd reached her apartment. About his mom, his uncle Luke (he'd also given her Luke's birthday), Stars Hollow, Jimmy, Sasha, Lily, and lastly, Rory. He'd explained everything he'd done. Leaving, coming back, leaving, coming back again, his mother's wedding, and finally, the final confrontation, which led to him leaving…again.
In response, Pisces had pulled him towards the bedroom and laid him in her bed and had told him to sleep.
He'd woken up the next morning with her in the bed, her body resting comfortably resting nearly a foot away from his. When she'd awoken, she didn't mention what he'd told her last night, and Jess was thankful. He'd been even more thankful when she brought him an Advil and a glass of water.
The only good that had come from his confession was that almost immediately this girl had become his best friend. They walked to work together, ate out together, went to movies, talked, and read. Turned out his astrology obsessed friend liked to read almost as much as he did.
Time went by quickly, and eventually, Jess had quit his job as a messenger, gladly accepting the book store owner's offered position of manager.
It was nearly a two months after his drunken confession that Pisces mentioned Rory one day while they were shelving books. Jess had immediately clammed up, moving further along the shelf, slamming books into it's place. "You should talk about it." She commented quietly.
"Why?" He asked not looking at her, only taking another stack of books and placing them roughly in their spot on the shelf.
"Because, despite it being your nature to clam your feelings up and mope in silence, it's been over a year. You've been beating yourself up over it for too long."
"Pisces, this isn't your business." He said through gritted teeth. In the past few months Pisces had in fact become one of the closest friends he had. She had told him that it was destiny that they become friends 'Written in the stars' and she had meant it literally, with her odd devotion to astrology. She was easily open with him, telling him things about herself that she hadn't even told her parents, yet the information he relayed to her was filtered. Always about Luke. Always about Jimmy. Always about his step sister…or on the way half sister that was due any day now…never about Stars Hollow in detail. and especially never about Rory.
"You're right. It's not…but I still think you should talk about it…when you're not drunk." She'd left the aisle with that piece of advice…lifting a box into her arms and re-shelving on the other side.
Jess had gone to a childhood friend's house that night with full intentions to get as drunk as humanly possible, but after one beer, he'd left and headed to Pisces. When she'd opened the door, he'd started talking. About everything. And she listened without interruption. The evening had ended with Jess cradled in her arms, comforting him, despite his lack of tears.
It was two months later that he realized that the feelings he had for Rory were decreasing, and his feelings for Pisces were increasing. He wouldn't act on said feelings for nearly four months.
Surprisingly, he found himself in his beat up Sedan with Pisces, his girlfriend of two months, in the passenger seat.
It'd been two years since he'd last seen Rory Gilmore. And he knew that everything that had conspired between them was his fault. He'd left, he hadn't said goodbye. He'd come back again, then left, then cam back again, only to leave one last time.
But he liked to think that he'd grown up since then.
Well, maybe a little bit…he still had a ways to go
"God, I hate Good Charlotte." Jess whined as Pisces pushed the green and black cd into his car's cd player. Pisces shrugged her shoulders, leaning back into the seat, moving her shoulder length brown hair out of the way, pulling it into a messy bun behind her head. Proving his point, Jess reached his hand towards the eject button, but was stopped by a quick hand reprimanding him roughly with a loud slap.
"Don't touch." She instructed.
"It's my car." He argued.
"Yeah, and if what you say is true, you're driving me straight into hell, so I guess we're even." She smiled sweetly at him before turning her attention towards the passing scenery that was viewable through the passenger side window.
Jess glanced at her for a moment with a smirk before turning his attention back to the road. She had been shocked when he asked her to go to Stars Hollow to meet his Uncle Luke. After a few moments, she had tried every way possible to get out of it. Even her beloved astrology. "Jess…this is a big step. I mean, family means a lot to you, your uncle Luke means a lot to you…are you sure you want me to go with you?"
For once he found himself in a position where he found himself being a rock, it scared him, but his face never faltered, nodding and kissing her quickly on the forehead, he'd whispered in her ear, "don't worry, now go and back your bags."
In all truths, Jess was just as scared as she was, and too scared to go back all by himself.
"Don't miss the exit." She commented pointed to the sign that said 'Stars Hollow next 3 exits' on the side of the road.
"I'm not, now stop complaining or I'll break that cd when you're not paying attention." He teased. She rolled her eyes. There was silence in the car for a moment, save for the sounds of 'Girls and Boys' wafted throughout the car.
Then, "Are you nervous about going back?" She asked quietly, "I mean, the chance of you seeing her…" She trailed off. Jess didn't answer and Pisces didn't push it.
As Jess expected, Stars Hollow was just the way he remembered it, clean and quiet. From beside him, Pisces chuckled.
"You're right…it is hell." She smiled.
Jess didn't say anything as he parked his car behind Luke's. Turning the car off, he sat quietly in the passenger seat, his head leaning against the steering wheel, taking in one deep breath after another., After a moment, he unbuckled his seat belt and opened the door, stepping out of his car with sure footing. This wasn't about Rory…or Luke even. This was about him. Jess closed the door and leaned against it, waiting for Pisces to join him.
"You ready?" They asked at the same time, causing both of them to laugh.
"Don't worry, Luke'll love you…and Lorelai might even be fascinated by your great knowledge of the stars."
"This is funny?"
"What?" He chuckled leading her up the wooden stairs that led to the upstairs apartment.
"Me being all supportive, relishing in the fact that you need me." She smiled, "I'm acting like a cancer."
"Huh." He replied. "I thought I was being supportive." He teased.
"I'm supposed to be the needy one….Start acting like a man, Jess." She grinned as they walked around to the front of the diner.
Lost and broken Hopeless and lonely Smiling on the outside And hurt beneath my skin My eyes are fading My soul is bleeding I try to make it seem okay But my faith is wearing thin
So help me heal these wounds They've been open for way too long Help me fill this soul Even though this is not your fault That I'm open and bleeding All over your brand new rug And I need someone to help me sew them up
I only wanted a magazine I only wanted a movie screen I only wanted the life I'd read about and dreamed And now my mind is an open book And now my heart is an open wound And now my life is an open soap for all to see
So help me heal these wounds They've been open for way too long Help me fill this soul Even though this is not your fault That I'm open and bleeding All Over your brand new rug And I need someone to help me So you come along, I push you away Then kick and scream for you to stay Cause I need someone to help me Oh I need someone to help me To help me heal these wounds They've been open for way too long Help me fill this soul Even though this is not your fault That I'm open and I'm bleeding All over your brand nw rug And I need someone to help me sew them And I need someone to help me fill them I need someone to help me close them up
THE END Unless you want more…which I'm not sure I'll be able to deliver for quite a while.
AN2: 'Wounded' is by Good Charlotte…this is not a song fic, but the song basically tells about this relationship between Pisces and Jess…the sad oh my heart hurts, though is about Rory. : ) I'm sure you get it.
Using my limited knowledge of Astrology…I'm totally working on it, I tried to tell a story that wasn't really from any point of view but just telling a story. I hope it wasn't too choppy…I tried to keep months and time accurate.
Oh, and I promise I'll be updating 'Like Jess, Like Eliza' and 'And Over Again' as soon as I possibly can, I've been writing a story based on the show Lost, but using the people I work with as characters…
I feel I could totally add onto this one…make it either a series, or, add another chapter to let everyone know exactly what happens after they enter the diner…
Tell me what you think!
REVIEW PLEASE…IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO WRITE AND EDIT THIS!