Title: Breaking the News
Summary: Remus and Sirius think it's time to tell Harry about their relationship, but Harry isn't cooperating much. And, truth be told, neither is Sirius. Or Remus.
Beta-reader: Grim Noire
Author's Notes: Gratuitous clueless!Harry.
"Harry, there's something we need to tell you." Remus Lupin was sitting on the sofa in the living room; Sirius was at his right side, blushing a deep red, his hands twitching anxiously.
"What is it, Professor Lupin?" Harry was in the armchair opposite to them.
"Well," started Remus, feeling a bit nervous himself, "do you see this ring?" He held out his left hand to the boy, showing the sparkling gold ring on one of his fingers.
"Yes." Harry wasn't getting it. This wasn't going to be easy.
"It's an engagement ring," Remus explained.
Harry's eyes widened in surprise. "You are engaged?" Remus nodded, and the boy grinned. "I'm so happy for you! Who's the lucky woman?"
Sirius looked away and blushed even deeper; Remus' cheeks were also starting to colour. "Ah, yes, well," he babbled, "that's the point. Have you noticed that Sirius is wearing a ring, too?"
Harry blinked owlishly, and then narrowed his eyes, looking as if he was starting to suspect something. "No, I haven't."
"Padfoot, will you show him, please?" Remus asked. But Sirius hid his left hand behind his back and looked away again. "Oh, come on..." He grabbed the other man's arm and tugged at it, but Sirius kept it firmly in place. Remus yanked harder, this time not so nicely, and Sirius finally—but reluctantly—showed Harry the ring.
Harry looked at it. "It looks just like yours," he told Remus, startled. The man smiled, and Harry took on a horrified expression. "Y-you two...?"
"There's nothing wrong about it," Remus stammered, his voice drowning Sirius' low curses.
"What do you mean, there's nothing wrong about it?" roared Harry. "You can't be both engaged to the same woman!"
There was an uncomfortable silence as the other two stared at him.
"Don't you get it?" Sirius asked incredulously.
"There's no woman, Harry," Remus explained slowly.
"You are not engaged to anyone? Why are you wearing those rings, then?"
Sirius smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand.
"Harry," Remus said in a loud, clear voice, "we are engaged to each other." There, that shouldn't leave place for any misunderstandings.
"Ah..." Harry nodded slowly, smiling. Sirius and Remus also smiled, in relief. But the boy just kept smiling stupidly, causing Remus to raise a questioning eyebrow. "I don't get it."
Sirius groaned exasperatedly. "All right, let me explain it to you better." He turned to Remus, grabbed his face with both hands and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Remus was a little startled at first, but then he closed his eyes and returned the kiss, losing himself in it.
When they finally pulled apart for air, their faces flushed, they noticed Harry was gaping at them in shock. Sirius looked away and cleared his throat, his hands twitching nervously again.
"You understand now, right, Harry?" asked Remus, smoothing imaginary wrinkles on his clothes in a vain gesture to hide his embarrassment.
The boy just kept staring at them, his jaw hanging loose. Another uncomfortable silence followed, and when Sirius couldn't stand it any longer, he stood up and went to the kitchen, pushing the boy's jaw up to close his mouth as he walked past him.
This made Harry react; he swallowed and looked at the clock on the wall. "Wow, look at the time!" he exclaimed suddenly, hastily standing up. "I'm really sorry, but I have to go"
Remus turned around to look at the clock, too. "Harry, it's only half past five..."
"Yes, yes," Harry said as he grabbed his jacket from the back of the armchair and headed for the door. "But I have lots of things to do. I was going to go to...er..." He left the house and closed the door behind him, leaving Remus staring at it.
Sirius entered the room again. "He's left?"
"Don't worry, he'll get used to it sooner or later. Want to go to the bedroom with me?"
Remus snapped back into reality. "All right," he said simply, standing up and following his lover into their room.