(Disclaimer: I do not own Beast Boy, though I'd love to. This song belongs to Edwin McCain.)

I'll Be

By: Ellivia22

Chapter 1 Saving a Life



I look up from my book to see Robin standing in front of me. "Yeah."

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the carnival with Star, Cy, and I?" He asks.

I shake my head, raising my eyebrow. "Isn't Beast Boy going with you guys?" I ask, trying to keep the blush from creeping on my face.

Robin looks away slightly. He looks slightly uncomfortable. "He said he didn't want to come."

I stare at him, stunned. What the hell is going on here? I feel suspicious. Beast Boy, not wanting to go to a carnival? That's not like him. Before I can respond, Robin leaves the room. I think about it some more.

Once he took the antidote, Beast Boy was back to normal. That is, until a couple of days ago. He's been locking himself his room a lot more than I do, and that's saying something. I try to be there for him, but lately he's been pushing me away. Tears threaten to spill my eyes as I think about how much pain he's caused me by shutting me out. I can't stand not hearing his jokes anymore. Things start to rattle around me. I wipe my tears away quickly. Once I hear the T-car leave, I decide to go and check on Beast Boy. Maybe now that everybody's gone, he'll finally let me be there for him. I get up from the couch and walk towards his room.

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful

Stop me and steal my breath

Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky

Never revealing their depth

Tell me that we belong together

Dress it up with the trappings of love

I'll be captivated

I'll hang from your lips

Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I knock on the door. "Beast Boy?" I call.

Without waiting for an answer, I enter his room using my magic, since I figure the door was locked. I gasp in horror at the sight in front of me. Beast Boy is standing in the middle of his surprisingly clean room, his body shaking. Tears are running down his face, his eyes closed. My heart starts pounding when I see the gun he has pressing against his head. "Beast Boy NO!" I cry.

Right when I tackle him to the ground, Beast Boy pulls the trigger, the bullet barely missing both of us. The gun falls out of his hands and hits the ground, us following. As we fall, I hear the lightbulb above us explode. I'm not sure if it is because of the bullet or my emotions, but I don't care. I manage to pin Beast Boy to the ground and put a black shield over us at the same time to prevent us from being hit by glass.

Once I'm sure everything is okay, I suspend the shield. Beast Boy continues to struggle, trying to grab the gun, which is a few inches away. "Get off me Raven," he snaps, not sounding like the changeling I know. He continues to struggle, trying to get out of my grip.

"Are you crazy?!" I nearly scream. I hear windows breaking, but I'm too scared to care. "Do you really think I would let you go so you could kill yourself? Remember what you told me after Malchior betrayed me? 'You think you're alone, Raven, but you're not'. You're not alone, Beast Boy! Please talk to me!"

I'll be your crying shoulder

I'll be love suicide

I'll be better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Beast Boy glares at me, turning into a rat and easily gets out of my grasp. My heart pounds as I realize how desperate he is to end his life. I can't believe it. My Beast Boy! Well, if there's a way to prevent this, then as sure as hell I'll prevent it. Without hesitation, I use my powers to summon the gun into my hands. I open up the gun and pour out the bullets. I toss the gun aside. I let a small sigh of relief when he doesn't try to run out the door.

As soon as he notices the gun is empty, Beast Boy turns back into himself. He buries his head in his knees and starts sobbing. Silently I move beside him and pull him into my arms. He needsme. I've got to help him. His arms wrap around my waist. I hold him tight. "Why w-won't you let m-me die," he manages to choke out, his tears falling on my shoulder.

I ignore his question. "Why did you just try to take your life?" I ask in a slightly frightened voice, tears of my own threatening to fall. I feel him tense up in my arms.

He says nothing but his hand leaves my back to point at his desk. I take a glance around his room and realize that he is really serious about killing himself. I see four different piles containing his items. Everything he owned, in piles to each of the Titans. He's really serious. I raise my hand and a piece of paper from his desk rushes to it. "No need to hide, the Beast has finally died" it reads.

Rain falls angry on the tin roof

As we lie awake in my bed

You're my survival, you're my living proof

My love is alive not dead

Tell me that we belong together

Dress it up with the trappings of love

I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips

Instead of the gallows of heartache, that hang from above

My eyes widen, tears falling rapidly from my eyes. I hug him tightly. "Beast Boy, you took the antidote, remember?"

Beast Boy laughs bitterly. "Yeah, tell the others that."

"What are you talking about? They care about you. I care about you."

He shakes his head. "You don't see what really happens. Whenever I try to crack a joke, I get only false laughter. Every time I talk to Robin, Starfire, or Cyborg, I see them tense up. They won't even look me in the eye anymore. You know, they never asked me to go to the carnival with them. I was in the hallway when I overheard Robin talk to you. I went back to my room after I heard what he said. They still hate me after how I acted when I wasn't myself. They still believe that I hurt you intentionally. Robin kept begging me to tell the truth that night about what happened to you, though truly, I could not remember. Robin said he'd have to assume the worst, and that he'd have to put me in jail. They didn't believe me, meaning they don't care about me. They never have."

My heart pounds against my chest. How could they be so horrible to him? He never hurt me. He only protected me from Adonis. I told Starfire and the rest that he saved my life. How could they be so cold to him now? He took the antidote, he's perfectly fine. I rub his back softly. I feel Beast Boy calming down slightly. But I sense that's not the only reason why he almost killed himself. I decide to call him on it.

"What else?" I ask.

"What do you mean 'what else'?" he asks, pulling away slightly to look at me. Fake confusion is on his face. I don't buy it.

"This can't be the only reason why you want to die. I've been trying to talk to you. You keep shutting me out, and it really hurts. Please tell me why. Let me be here for you." I whisper.

I'll be your crying shoulder

I'll be love suicide

I'll be better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Beast Boy sniffles, giving in. "The team told me that they found me in Beast form you in my teeth. They said I kept coming back to attack you and just wouldn't leave you alone." I see guilt in his eyes. "I told them I'd never hurt you, ever. But they didn't believe me. They still think I'm going to hurt you, and they might be right. Who knows if this Beast is going to take control of me again? I don't want to take the chance for something like that to happen again. I can't live with the guilt of knowing that I hurt the girl I love above all things. I deserve to die," he finishes, burying his head in my chest.

My breath catches in my throat. Did he just say the "L" word? I can't believe what I had just heard. "You love me?" I whisper.

He nods. "I always have, and I know I always will."

I've been dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead

Tuned in, turned on, Remembered the things that you said

I'll be your crying shoulder

I'll be love suicide

I'll be better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your life

I lift his chin so that his green eyes meet my violet ones. "Beast Boy," I whisper. "Can you imagine how much hurt you would've caused me if I didn't walk in today?" His eyes lower. I place my hand on his damp cheek. "Especially since now I know how you feel."

"Why so you can kill me and-." I cut him off by pressing my lips against his.

I feel a warm sensation enter my body. I feel him kiss back, emotions running back and forth like electricity.

I wrap my arms around his neck as his circle around my waist. We break apart for air. Tears are running down my face in happiness. "I love you, Gar." I say, using his real name for the first time.

He smiles softly at me, the first smile I've seen in days. "Please stay with me," he says quietly.

"I wouldn't leave even if you asked me to." I whisper back.

Our lips meet again in another sweet kiss. The kiss doesn't last forever, but I know we will.

I'll be your crying shoulder

I'll be love suicide

I'll be better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your life