Hey everyone! This I plan to do a little differently from my other story, "To the Mall!"

Flashbacks are bold

'Thoughts' or stressed words are in italics

Song are in italics and bold

This one-shot has some major angst and ummm… heavy… stuff on Shuichi's part. I won't say anything else, but it might make you scared for him. Anyway, on to the story. By the way, my screen-name does not apply to this.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation, written by the blessed Maki Murakami. I also don't own "From the Inside" by the talented Lincoln Park. (Sniff)

Breaking Point

"Okay, people, great job today!" K said as he walked into the studio.

Mumbles reached K in weary agreement, as Bad Luck put their instruments away, and drug their feet along the floor. Shuichi sat down heavily, sighing, into a red leather recliner; Hiro gently stood his electric guitar on its stand and sat down into a chair next to the band's vocalist, and almost slid down to the floor. He didn't even have energy to keep himself upright! Meanwhile, Suguru went back to the control room to speak to Sakano, always the work-aholic.

K paraded into the studio waving his gun around like the maniac that he is. "Wonderful! Excellent! Fantastic!" he rejoiced loudly. "You have earned yourselves a day off!"

"Ungh," were the celebrations.

Hiro completely ignored his manager and gazed curiously at Shuichi, who was staring into space, not saying a word. The only thing he had said today was "Hello", and that was when he had come in six hours ago. He had sung, but that was all. He hadn't even been jumping around, breaking things like he normally did.

Hiro had watched him closely the whole week. Shuichi's mood had slowly deteriorated as time went on and every day he came into work a little quieter, a little less obnoxious. He had dark circles under his eyes, like he hadn't slept for a long time. His eyes had lost their breathtaking glow; they had grown dull over time. His body had become noticeably thinner, but nobody commented.

It was universally believed he'd had another lovers spat with that stupid novelist, but Hiro knew this was different.

One week ago:

K pointed his gun at an otherwise immobile Shuichi and he demanded to know why he was late yet again. Shuichi shrugged and suddenly looked his manager in the eyes. K was slightly taken aback.

His singer's eyes weren't the rare amethyst color they had always been, but a black as deep as the darkest night.

K fought the urge to back up a step and he withdrew his gun from Shuichi's forehead. He blinked and looked again, to be sure of what he had seen, but Shuichi's eyes were their usual color. He shrugged and turned toward his oblivious band and called for them to get working.

The day went as it normally did, and K dismissed what he had seen.

He thought he'd imagined it.

Hiro gazed over at the young man and he called his name softly.

Shuichi jumped and blushed light pink. Hiro wondered what his best-friend had been thinking to make him blush.

"What Hiro?" Shuichi definitely sounded world weary.

"How's Yuki?"

idiot freakget out

Shuichi violently jumped out of his chair and stormed around the room.

"He's fine, Hiro. Just freaking fine! Don't worry about him! He's just typing away in his study, doing absolutely freaking nothing!" He sank to his knees and pushed against his head with his hands as ifto crush the thoughts from his mind. Hiro hurried to his side and grabbed his distressed friend's arms, yelling at him to stop.

After long minutes had passed, Shuichi stopped and was still for a while. He dropped his hands from his head. The rest of the band had rushed in, seeing Shuichi in this state, and they surrounded him with worry on their faces. Shuichi was staring at nothing, cocking his head to the side, he seemed to be listening to something the others couldn't hear.

Shuichi seemed to come to his senses then, and he blinked and shook his head in confusion. He looked at the others around him and he gave them a shaky smile.

Sakano looked like he was about to faint (DUH!). K was resting his hand on his gun, and Suguru just stared at Shuichi, who giggled nervously.

"What the heck was that Shuichi?" Hiro asked, almost bewildered to the point of silence. "What's wrong?"

The singer stared at Hiro for an unmentionable amount of time. The others didn't think he would answer at all, and then a different look came into his eyes, one that showed he wouldn't tell them, wouldn't trust them.

"Gomen nasai, everyone. I don't know what has gotten into me. I-I think I'm going to… I'll go home now," and he stood up, walked unsteadily to the door, and was gone. Just like that.

I don't know who to trust

No surprise

(Everyone feels so far away from me)

Heavy thoughts sift through the dust

And the lies


Eiri Yuki sat at his plain desk and stretched in his chair, feeling gentle pops in his joints. He had been sitting in his study, typing for two days straight, until he had finally finished his latest novel. Yuki saved his work, e-mailed the manuscript to his editor and stood up. He knew it wasn't the best he had written, but all he cared about at the moment was getting something to eat, having a couple beers, and sleeping. And maybe see Shuichi, too.

Yuki realizedafter a couple minutes of relaxingthat Shuichi hadn't pummeled him on the spot when he had gotten home from work. He usually got home around eight o'clock in the evening, but he hadn't heard asingle soundfrom anywhere in the apartment. Shuichi hadn't screamed his name at an unholy level as a greeting, hadn't glomped him after bursting into his study.Now that Yuki thought of it, he realized he hadn't even talked to him since…three days ago.

"Hey, Yuki," called a timid voice from the door to Yuki's study. Shuichi wasn't answered except for the incessant tapping of the laptop's keys. His shoulders slumped, and they let go of the hope that, maybe once, his lover would answer him kindly, if at all. "Yuki…"

There was silence from the intent novelist.

"Please Yuki… just talk to me. Please…"

Finally, Yuki responded. "What do you want," he asked icily. Shuichi felt a small flame of hope rekindled in his heart, despite the coldness of the words.

"I was wondering… well, if we could spend some time together; get a bite to eat, maybe," the boy asked tentatively.

Yuki spun around in his chair and he looked at Shuichi, who was still peeking in from the door. Yuki didn't see (or maybe he chose to ignore) the turmoil and the confusion of thoughts tumbling in his lover's eyes.

"No, brat. I have work to do." And he swung back to his laptop gracefully.

That flame finally breathed its last, and darkness soon seized his heart.

Yuki inwardly winced as he recalled the cold, heartless, and cynical words he had said to his devoted lover. He recalled the young man's eyes, and what he had seen in them when he had turned around again. Or lack thereof.

But he, just like K, had dismissed it as fantasy.

Yuki walked stiffly to the door and twisted the knob. He pulled open the door and he stepped into the living room. He was somewhat surprised to find Shuichi on the black leather couch that had been so expensive, yet wasn't comfortable at all.

Yuki put a frown on his face and he called Shuichi's name, and he looked up at the man. Yuki thought for an instant that it wasn't Shuichi that was looking at him. Sure, he looked like Shuichi, with the same pink hair and the same clothes. The one thing that led Yuki to doubt that this was his boyfriend, however, was his eyes, which were like that evening three days ago.

They were as black as night.

Trying not to break

But I'm so tired of this deceit

Every time I try to make myself

Get back up on me feet

All I ever think about is this

All the tiring time between

And how

Trying to put my trust in you

Just takes so much out of me

Golden eyes widened in surprise at the color of Shuichi's. 'What the heck is going on? Are those contacts? No, but… how did they turn black? What is going on...'

Shuichi stood up from his uncomfortable position on the couch and smiled widely, a smile that caused Yuki's thoughts to falter and awaken an instinctive warning to run.

Take everything from the inside

And throw it all away

'Cause I swear

For the last time

I won't trust myself with you

"Hey, Yuki," and the said man saw Shuichi's eyes change back to their clear amethyst hue. "Whatchadoing?"

"Go away," He said, and continued on to the kitchen. He faintly heard Shuichi follow him quietly for once. While reaching to open the refrigerator door, Shuichi spoke again.

"We had a good day at work. We got a couple more songs recorded and we're about done with a new album." His voice was soft, as if expecting something, but wishing it wouldn't come, dreading it.

Tension is building inside

Steadily

(Everyone feels so far away from me)

Heavy thoughts forcing their way out of me

Yuki grabbed a beer and closed the door again. He opened the can and took a long swallow. Shuichi continued in his soft voice, "So soon, we will-"

"Listen brat, I don't care-" Yuki started.

Trying not to break

But I'm so tired of this deceit

Every time I try to make myself

Get back up on me feet

All I ever think about is this

All the tiring time between

And how

Trying to put my trust in you

Just takes so much out of me

"Yuki," said a sing-song voice.Yuki turned to look at the singer. "He he he." He saw Shuichi doubled over with laughter, holding his sides; he was hysterical. Shuichi stopped and gasped for breathe, as if he had just run a mile. His eyes turned to a deep purple momentarily.

shuichi

"I can't h-hold itback, Yuki, not anymore. I'm so s-sorry." Then he began to giggle again. He looked at Yuki again with black eyes.

"He he he he! Ha ha ha ha!" The eccentric giggles morphed into something raw and harsh.

stupid leave go away

As Yuki looked on with growing horror, he thought, 'He sounds…mad.'

Take everything from the inside

And throw it all away

'Cause I swear

For the last time

I won't trust myself with you

"Shuichi… what's going on? What's Wrong?" Yuki asked cautiously.

inept crazy leave me alone

The vocalist looked at him in confusion, a frown on his face. "What's wrong? I don't know, Yuki. You, I guess. You're being kind. How thoughtful. It may have been a bit late, though." He shrugged indifferently, "Too bad."

Yuki frowned and narrowed his eyes. 'This is making no sense whatsoever. What is wrong with him?'

Shuichi stretched lazily, raising his arms to the ceiling and looking up. Yuki dared speak, "Shuichi, why-"

"No! Don't even ask me why I'm acting like this!" Just like that, Shuichi's small arms plunged down to his side again, and he looked at Yuki with an almost murderous glare in his eyes.

I won't waste myself on you...

Waste myself on you...

"It's too late Yuki. He he! Too late. I won't waste my life with you anymore. No more hoping, ha, no more trusting my heart with someone who won't t-trade his!" The emotions, the bitterness, anger, coldness, and the resentment within Shuichi's voice shocked Yuki into taking a step back.

fool ingrate clumsy baka

I'll…..

Take everything from the inside

And throw it all away

'Cause I swear

For the last time

I won't trust myself with you

Shuichi threw his head back and laughed, "This is priceless! The great Eiri Yuki, the man who broke my heart," and he brought his head forward again and narrowed his eyes at Yuki, "and my mind, apparently, is scared! Of…little…old me!"

Shuichi cocked his head a little and he started to cry. "Why? Why! Why did you do this to me!All I ever did was love you!" He dropped to his knees and sobbed as if the world had ended. Huge wracking sobs forced their way out of him, leaving the broken body gasping for breath. Yet you could hear giggles through it all.

'I did this. How did this happen? Where were the signs?' But Yuki knew where they had been; behind the closed door of his study. And his heart. 'How could I have done this?'

Yuki took a small step toward the young man, and was stopped again by Shuichi's scream.

"Get away from me! Get away!"

Yuki complied, stepping away again. Shuichi looked at him and slowly rose from the cold floor. He never took his eyes from Yuki and they circledeach other,neither letting their gaze leave each others, untilShuichi's back was to the small door that led to the forth-story balcony.

brainless disappear useless

Shuichi backed up to lean against the glass that made the door. "Well Yuki? What do you have to say for yourself? He he he he, Yuki has thirty seconds; and counting." Shuichi put his hand on the sliding door's handle.

Yuki thought desperately. 'What could I say? I know what he wants, what he needs, but how can I say it? I can't say it!' Precious seconds ticked away. Time was running out, but Yuki finally said, "I'm sorry, so sorry."

Everything from the inside

And just throw it all away

'Cause I swear

For the last time

I won't trust myself with you

"Aww, what a nice thing to say, but 'sorry' doesn't redeem yourself. He he! Too bad." He opened the door and backed out to the cold steel railing that was the only thing stopping him from toppling over the edge. Shuichi leaned against it.

"Wait Shuichi!" Yuki stumbled forward, holding an arm out to him. He reached the doorway when Shuichi spoke again.

"Why? I've waited for two years, Yuki." Tears formed in his eyes and a smile grew on his face. "Don't you think that's long enough?"A tear fell amongst the giggles. "He he he, see you in hell, Yuki."Yuki, frozenwhere he stood,caughta final, fleeting glimpse of tears falling from amethyst eyes andShuichi arched backwards,

and fell into the blackness of the night below.

yuki