Disclaimer: No, I don't own Pokemon, but I do own pokemon. Hey, that makes a lot of sense. More seriously, I'm not making anything off this piece, except to satisfy my crazy mind.

And as for all the future Pokemon Info, I got it from Serebii dot net, a very informative site about pokemon.

A/N: Anyone who knows me in real life knows that I'm not a conventional romantic, which is probably why I wrote this in response to the Ash/May vs. Ash/Misty rivalry. I'm both an advanceshipper and a pokeshipper, so it was extremely fun in this piece to shift either way.

Just keep in mind that ultimately, this is a parody of Ash's romantic situation, so it's supposed to be weird.

Warning: This is written in a stream-of-consciousness style and the randomness, well, you may want to sue me to get your sanity back.

Everything He Does



When I first began traveling with Ash Ketchum, I didn't think I would fall in love with him. Reason? Well, I was only ten! Besides, I found it annoying that he seemed to care more for his badges than anything or anyone else.

Now I know better. I see beneath his hotheaded exterior and I find who may be the sweetest person I know. The sacrifices he makes for his pokemon and for his friends are extremely touching, and I would whack anyone who says that he is not kind.

Maybe that's why I started liking him. You know, in more than a friendly way? The way that will make my heart flutter whenever he looks at me and make me want to dance when he smiles at me.

Lovesick? Well, I don't think so. You see, I think he likes me back.

Why else would he protect me whenever I get myself into trouble? Why else would he cheer me on during my contests? And I don't see him holding Brock or Max's hand like he holds mine—well, fine, only when we're running away from something…

But still!

Today, when we were folding up the sleeping bags, his hand brushed mine. I blushed and I looked at him, but he barely looked up.

I bet he's embarrassed.

I bet he doesn't want me to see him blush.

I'm already done with my Grand Festival, and Ash will be finishing up the Hoenn League soon. When he goes back to Pallet, I'll go with him. I'll tell him how I feel. I'm sure he'll be happy and pick me up and swing me around and all that.

Oh, he just looked at me again. And he smiled!

I just know he likes me.


Pallet Town is a beautiful place. It's not as great as Petalburg City, of course, but it has a quaint feel that I prefer.

I was secretly glad when Max went back home to stay with Mom and Dad and when Brock went back to Pewter to his family. For two glorious days, I traveled with Ash Ketchum. Just the two of us, walking side by side and talking.

I think he liked it too. He always sounds so earnest and so eager when he talks with me.

Doesn't that prove he likes me?

All I need now is a good time to tell him.

Well, that is, when Misty leaves.

I don't really dislike Misty as a person, really. In fact, I look up to her. She has awesome pokemon, for one, and she has a hotter temper than Ash!

It's just that, well, Ash knows her longer than me…

What if she likes him? In fact, I think she does like him. She looks at him all the time and she blushes and she smiles whenever he looks her way.

No, no. That's not the problem.

What if he likes her back? Because I think he may like her too because he sort of hugged her when he saw her and they talked about the old times and well maybe he blushed a few times too.

Isn't that horrible? Ash is mine!

I mean, he should be mine, right? We traveled together. We have similar beliefs. We supported each other. We are good friends!

I will beat Misty. I know I will. Maybe Ash hugged her and touched her more than he did me—never mind how wrong that sounds—but he's closer to me just because he smiles at me more. Doesn't that prove he likes me?

Oh dear, I'm repeating myself. Ash will be coming back from Professor Oak's soon—I'm so glad Gary Oak is a boy—and then, well, I'll ask him if he could show me around the place.

Just the two of us.


Because Brock is still at Pewter and Max is still at my parents', there are only three of us at the picnic. What picnic? Just a random one that Misty organized to reacquaint.

All of our pokemon are out, enjoying the sunshine. Well, except for a bayleef, who hasn't stopped nuzzling Ash since we came back. Thankfully, she's a very sweet pokemon, or I may have to—

"So, May," says Misty, smiling at me. "How are the contests?"

Making conversation. Trying to get me off-guard.

I glance at Ash before I answer, "All right. I made it to the quarterfinals in the Grand Festival, but then my pokemon lost." I smile at my skitty and my combustken. "But they put up a good fight. How's the gym going?"

"It's all right, but it's a bit boring." Misty leans her cheek against her knee. I think she just glanced at Ash. "My sisters can grate on my nerves sometimes, and the challengers usually aren't that challenging." She grins at me. "I'm sure you understand."


"I think I may want to work my legs again," she adds conversationally.

I'm suddenly alarmed. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm thinking of traveling again," Misty answers. "It'd be nice to go around with you and Ash and Brock."

Me and Ash?

She's kidding, right?

"You're going to travel with him again?" I say.

I must've sounded incredulous because she laughs. "Of course! I've always traveled with him!" And then she grows serious. "In fact, I traveled with him more than you did!"

Arbitrary attack.

Well, excuse me!

"But you don't do anything when you travel with him, except catch pokemon that should be his!" I return, voice louder than proper but I don't really care. "At least, I can cheer him on during his battles and he can cheer me on during my contests!"

If I had any doubt that Misty likes him, I don't anymore. "Well, I'm his friend just as much as you are. In fact, more, because I know him longer!" Misty yells back. "Why are you so possessive all of a sudden?"

I shrug. Good question.

No, not a good question!

I glance in his direction, just as he looks up and meets my eyes. He smiles, apparently ignorant that a battle for his love is raging on. "See!" I whisper. "He just smiled at me!"

"Um, guys?" Ash says. "What's going on?"

"Nothing!" Misty and I chorus.

We must've looked aggressive because he actually takes a step backwards. "Oh, okay," he says quickly, scratching his head.

He goes back to his bayleef.

Misty crosses her arms. "He smiles at me all the time!" she snaps.

"It's different with me," I tell her. "Not only does he smile at me, he always protects me, even though he doesn't have to."

I can rant off all the times he protected me, but Misty won't hear any of it. "But you've never held him in your arms, have you?"


Well…that'll come later.

"I've only had one season—I mean, year—with him!" I growl. "You had five! By the time we spent five seasons—I mean, years—together, we'll be…we'll be—"

"You won't be!"


"Hey, sorry to bother you guys, where're the sandwiches?" Ash asks. "I'm hungry."

We glare at him. He blinks and scratches his head again.

"Here," Misty says, thrusting him a sandwich. She suddenly looks at the hankie in his hand. "Ash, is that the one I gave you?"

"Uh-huh," he answers, moving away cautiously. "See you guys later."

Misty gives me a triumphant look.

Well, we'll see.


Over the next few days, I'm sure Mrs. Ketchum's linen closet grew twice its original size. Meanwhile, the handkerchief shops around Pallet must be worshipping Misty and me.

I don't know if Ash gets the point, though. He grows more and more dreamy every time he comes back from Professor Oak's that eventually I'll be adding both the professor and his grandson to my rival's list.

Meanwhile, Misty and I, we keep up a courteous appearance.

There isn't really anything we can become fired up over. Neither of us ever got kissed by him and neither of us got any meaningful valentines, so the most we can do is compare how many times he looked at us. And after a while, that gets boring.

So, we just glare at each other and try to get closer to Ash.

But I'm plotting, you see. If Misty has to go with Ash, fine! I'm going to. I'm going to go and show her, first person, that he likes me more.

Love me, in fact.

Yeah, I know I can do that. When he starts yelling out my name during my contest and helping me get back when I fall, she'll realize and she'll go back home.

She'll say, "Oh, I wish I never tried to break May and Ash apart because they're two sides of the same coin!"

I don't want to break her heart, but she's asking for it.

Just you wait, Misty Waterflower.


There's a thunderstorm. As we all know, rainy afternoons are boring. For me especially. I can't hike, I can't train, and I can't gush to Ash with his mother nearby.

Somehow, I find myself sitting on the porch with Misty. We sit silently for a while, almost like companions, and then Misty initiates the confrontation.

"Let's go," Misty snaps at me, pointing outside. "Let's go and talk."

I go. If she thinks that a little rain will stop me from, well, defeating her, then she's wrong.

It doesn't really matter that, you know, it's hard to hold a battle when lightning can electrocute me any second, but I suppose eleven-year-old girls can't think too well.

"I want you to keep your hands off him," she tells me, as we near the forest. "You are second-guessing him. You only think he likes you!"

"What about you?" I demand. "I don't see how you aren't."

Misty is angry. "He doesn't like you! So what if he helps you out all the time? That's Ash Ketchum! Sure, he's loud-mouthed and annoying and absolutely clueless when it comes to girls, but he has a good heart!"

"That doesn't mean anything! I see beneath that face, okay? He's driven and ambitious and incredibly stupid sometimes and arrogant, but—"

"But nothing! You don't know him. You only see him as bad-tempered and an idiot—"

"You are shallow. You don't truly like a boy who has bad fashion tastes and whose hair sticks out and—"

I suddenly stop at Misty's face. We turn and we see that Ash is at the porch, watching us. By the looks of things, he just returned from Professor Oak's when he heard, well, us.

I can't read his expression.

"Did he hear?" I mutter. The roar of the rain isn't that much louder than our voices.

"This is kind of embarrassing," Misty mutters back.

Ash is coming toward us, face neutral. Thunder cracks suddenly and both Misty and me wince.

"Here," Ash says, handing us his giant umbrella. "You'll get wet."

We are wordless. As I open up the umbrella to shield Misty and me, I look at Ash. He is returning to the house and he is becoming soaked.

I don't know why I suddenly feel so ashamed.


The summer is over.

Ash has his pack with him when I come downstairs. I grin at him, smirk at Misty, and take my seat by him.

And no, in case you're wondering, nothing changed. Still a stalemate between Misty and me.

"Are you going to challenge a new league?" Misty asks before I could.

"Well, of course he is!" I answer before he can. "When should we leave?"

"Ahem!" Misty says.

"Oh, you be quiet!" I hiss.

Ash stares at us. "Are you two okay?" he asks. "You are usually so nice to each other."

Misty and I stare at each other and burst out laughing. He's so endearing when he's clueless.

"Well, are you?" I ask. "I can go up and pack my bags right away—"

"Well, actually, I'm not," Ash answers. "I need to take a break from challenging gyms. I want to spend more time with my pokemon, train them to be better, before I challenge another league. So I think I'll be going into the mountains and train there."

He drinks some milk.

Oh. Okay.

"You know what?" I say. "I should do that for my pokemon too, before I try another grand festival. I need to start training my munchlax. Maybe I can take some lessons from snorlax. We can probably train. Together."

"And my water pokemon needs to be in open air after a while," Misty adds. "Being cooped in the gym for so long isn't healthy."

He stares at us. "You both want to come with me?"

We stare back.

He begins to laugh. "I don't know. The way you two are acting lately, I thought you want to, you know, go around, just the two of you."

Something isn't right here.

"I'm going with Gary," he says. "Gary learned a lot about pokemon and he's willing to teach me. You guys don't have to come if you don't want to. My feelings really won't, you know, be hurt or anything. I know you two are really good friends and it may be cool for both of you to travel with someone who isn't hotheaded and bad-tempered and…I know I'm annoying sometimes and all."

I know I'm blushing crazily now, and for once it isn't because he looks so darn adorable.

"Um, excuse me," I say. "I think I need to, um, find beautifly."

I run off. I know Misty did too, because when I turn around later, I find that he's sitting by himself, staring at his cereal.


Ash is leaving today and as much as I hate to see him go, I know I have to.

Even though Misty and I both want to go with him, we don't really know how to explain to him that we don't hate him and that, quite the contrary, we both have feelings for him.

Karma really stinks when it strikes. I should listen to Dad more.

Mrs. Ketchum and Professor Oak have already left, Mrs. Ketchum to cook and Professor Oak to do his studies. Gary Oak has gone into the cabin of the ship to retire from all the gushy goodbyes. Meanwhile, Misty and I are still standing there stupidly.

Neither of us know how to say goodbye and apologize at the same time.

And I guess neither of us want to leave before the other.

It's sad, but a rivalry doesn't dissipate just because we realize how immature we are.

Finally, Ash says, "The ship is going to leave. Thanks for being my friends. I'll be back in a couple of months. Take care."

He holds out his hands. Misty and I each take one and shake.

He pulls them away and goes into the ship. The captain waves at the people on the wharf and goes into his cabin. Moments later, the ship will begin to sail.

I look at Misty and she looks at me.

"Are you going back to the gym?" I ask her.

"Uh-huh. And you'll go back to Hoenn?"

"Guess so." I look up and I laugh suddenly. "But I'm still going to be back in a couple of months."

She laughs too, and suddenly I know that we are still friends; even if we'll be squabbling over Ash forever, there's no reason why we can't keep things friendly.

We both learned our lesson.

And anyway, I'll live longer if I'm happier, which means I'll get more time with Ash.

"Hey," I suddenly say.


My words come out in a rush. "We both know he's more interested in pokemon than us," I say, "but he'll come around. And when that happens…" I grin, and hold out my hand. "The second one to his heart is a rotten egg. May the best girl win."

Misty looks at my hand and then she grins. "You've got yourself a deal," she says, and we clasp each other's hand.

We turn around in time to see Ash waving at us. We watch as he and his ship disappear into the sunset, and we turn back, finally ready to leave Pallet.

A/N: Eep. I hope that isn't too horrible.

Well, drop me a review, please! I want to hear your feedback on this silly piece. (winks)

Love, Sunlight