by Adrian Tullberg.
"You will do."
Rupert Giles, Watcher of the Slayer, defender of the light, and warlock extraordinaire, carefully shook, then zipped himself up before turning around to see who was talking to him in the alleyway behind the bar.
He blinked, then polished his glasses before putting them back on. He must be exceptionally sozzled if he was seeing and hearing a blue midget in a red dress.
Not a dress - a smock, or robe. With a green symbol on a white circle.
Giles, a little unsteady on his feet, took what the little man was offering.
A green ring.
"And ... what exactly am I supposed to do with this?"
"What you must."
Giles looked up from his examinations to demand a clarification - and the midget had vanished.
Now that he thought about it, the ring was too solid to be a hallucination. Although his experience in jewellry was limited, he was pretty sure that they didn't glow as a general rule.
Despite all that, it didn't seem to be magical. No runes, no strange smells. Just an odd design; two horizontal parrallel lines with a circle sandwitched between.
Giles shrugged. Life was short, and he was definiately over the legal limit. He slipped it on his middle finger.
Dawn passed the bag of Doritos to Willow. "So Giles is a superhero?"
"Yeah ..." Willow pointed at the monitor. "That's the Green Lantern Ring alright."
Buffy was knocking on the bedroom door. "Come out Giles!"
"I want your word of honour from each and every one of you that you won't laugh."
"Slayer, kick down the door. I'll get the videocamera."
"Never pass up prime blackmail material, niblet."
"All right! Here I am." Giles flung open the door. The ring gave him a spandex suit that covered him from feet to neck, green covered his torso, neck, and his boots. Black covered his legs and arms, with a white pair of gloves. A green mask covered his eyes and nose.
Everyone else in the room stared.
" ... yikes ..."
Giles turned around, slowly. "It appears whoever gave me this ring expect me to wear this in public."
Buffy was the first to regain her voice. "Ah ... Giles? It looks like ... well ... that costume is ... very ... very flattering ..."
"Buffy is trying to tell you that the costume is really tight and form fitting around your groin."
"Oh ... oh bloody hell ..."
"What? I just told him what everyone could see."
"I can't go out like this ... I'm supposed to be Green Lantern, not the Amazing Meat and Two Veg Man."
"Looks like a full meal to me."
"Anya, will you stop corrupting my little sister?"
"She said it, not me!"
"If you've got it, flaunt it, Rupert."
"Unless he's so old that it doesn't work, then that's false advertising."
Buffy turned to the source of the heavy, rythmic thudding noise. "Giles ... please stop hitting your head on the wall ... please?"