Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Period. Except of course, the Plot.
Warning: Contains Slash. Male/male relationships. If you don't swing that way…Bugger off.
A/N: This was supposed to be a one-shot but I decided to add more. And this made a little dilemma…which I will fix. It's a little cheesy at the end but it's totally necessary.
Stjimmysgurl – here's more…I continued partly for you, honey.
:D – There are too few Draco/Blaise fics out there, I had to write one.
Thank you, thank you to my reviewers…See what a little love can do.
Chapter Two: Comfort
I don't know what the hell you're saying
cause you're going blind
using all the lies they told you
to hurt your mind
"Stately Lover", Lacuna Coil
The next day began with the mother of all hangovers. I woke up and quickly regretted that impulse. I felt a throbbing in my head that was going to try to rip it into two separate pieces. My tongue felt at least five times its normal size and made entirely out of sandpaper. I tried to reach over to my wand which was normally on my nightstand, but it wasn't there. Both my wand and nightstand didn't seem to exist anymore. Then I realized, with the speed of a two slugs pushing against each other, that I wasn't in my room. Nor was I in the Slytherin dungeons for that matter. Yup, I was in THE room again, curled up in the middle of the floor. I tried to open my eyes but they didn't like to cooperate. I placed my hands firmly on the floor and hoisted myself into a sitting position. And that was when the world decided to do a cartwheel. I supported myself with my right hand and with my left, pinched the bridge of my nose. When the whirling was over and my urge to throw up subsided, I opened one of my eyes a crack. Sunlight was filtering in through the window, dust particles seemed to dance in the rays. I had both eyes open now and the pounding in my head resumed. Actually, it never left, just got pushed back to the back of my head.
It didn't make sense, why was I here. Then with the speed of those slugs going sideways, I remembered what happened the night before. Damn. Damn. Damn, damn, damn, damn. Draco. Erg. Standing up seemed to be a challenge. My legs were still asleep, I think. I swayed and staggered but finally had both feet following my brain. From what I could tell, it was already noon. I had a hand on the wall, helping me walk. I soon noticed the door was open. I guess I didn't close it then. Opening it wider, I unsteadily walked outside. I needed a shower, new clothes and a spell to get rid of my migraine. I made my wobbly way to the dungeons. A few Slytherins passed by, whispering to themselves. I caught one girl saying, "…all-nighter…party." I had half a mind to glare at the girl, the other half was still in the room. I noticed that all the little Slytherins that were up and about were lower years. First years, Second years, Third years and the occasional Fourth years were looking fairly refreshed and ready for the day or rather, the second half of the day. Thankfully, that day was a Saturday, no classes and no need for excuses. I got to the portrait and said the password, at least I tried to say it. After several attempts at forming coherent words, I finally got the password right. Either that or the portrait felt sorry for me.
I soon figured out why only the lower years were awake. What was inside the common room could only be described as an orgy on pause. People were scattered everywhere. There were students on the floor, on the tables and generally all over each other. Pansy was draped on the arms of a chair, what was draped on her I couldn't quite distinguish. It was either a very pretty man or a manly lady. Everyone was in various states of consciousness. The occasional scream was heard from those waking up cuddled with someone they didn't really know, up until last night. Ah, drunken misunderstandings. The Ugh's and Ohh's were present amidst the harmony of hurls. Ah, the morning after, always a fun affair at the Slytherin House. I picked my way through the throng of people and up to my dorm. All the curtains to all of the beds were closed and a silencing charm was placed on the room. Uh-oh. Then, I got angry. Someone was screwing around on my bed, and it wasn't me. I marched with a steady yet hung-over mission to scare the living daylights out of the couple who were stupid enough to do it on my bed. I pulled back the curtains and got the living daylights scared out of me. What I saw was too ghastly for words, but I'll try. Crabbe…Goyle…Sixth year girl. I almost fainted. I slowly grabbed my wand on my nightstand, closed the curtains, went to my trunk and fished out some clothes then left. When I got out of the room, I sprinted to the prefects' bathroom. There, I vomited for the second time in 24 hours.
After showering and trying to scrub my eyes off of that image on my bed, I did my anti-hangover spell, which I came up with, and headed to the kitchens. I. It was around midday, I love long showers, and I had completely missed breakfast and lunch. Hunger churned around my stomach reprimanding me for waking up so late. There was the portrait of the bowl of fruits in front of which was a certain silver-haired Slytherin. He was wearing his school robes, though it was a Saturday, looking clean and Dracoish again. I stopped, turned around and completely changed direction. Facing him after last night was the last thing in my list of things to do. I hurried along the corridors totally ignoring my stomach's plea for food. It took me about ten minutes debating where I should head out to. Dorm, no; Outside, snowing…Library! He'll never go there. I needed some things for my Charms essay and I did have to do research for my Aencient Spelles class. It was like hitting two hippogriffs with one stick. I entered the Library and basked in its ambiance. The soft light and the warm colors did wonders for my harassed mental state. I walked over to the Charms section, turned the corner and…oomph!
"Mudblood," I greeted the bushy thing that hit me. Her books and miscellaneous items scattered all around her while she herself fell to the floor. I was unfazed and started to brush imaginary dust off my person. That nickname used to get a rouse out of her, now it did nothing but get her attention.
"Zabini," she replied. She picked up her wandering belongings and stood up. She came up to about my shoulder.
"Wild party last night? I saw less than half the Slytherins at lunch and even less during breakfast." She was studying me, looking for whatever she could get to analyze my psychotic well-being or whatever.
"You should know, dear. If I remember correctly, you had Rodgers howling like a werewolf." After stating this maliciously controversial fact the Granger turned into a shade of red that rivaled their house color and walked away, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Oh, and say hello to you boyfriend, Weasel for me."
Now that was fun. Of course, no actual howling was heard. It was a bet we had, me, Draco and Daniel Rodgers. He's a very impressionable Sixth year with lots of daddy's gold to spend. Draco bet Rodgers 50 galleons that he couldn't bed either one of the Golden Trio before Christmas break. He approached us during the party and said he had Granger in his dorm ready for a shag. I paid up but Draco needed more. And what Draco needed was proof. Ah yes proof. And proof did come, in the form of photos, lovely, moving photos. Draco gave him his winnings and pocketed the photos. Blackmail, he said would be very, very handy and well worth the money. I sat down after getting the books I needed. Digging around in my robes, I found some parchment. Now, if I only had a quill. I took out my knife, never leave the room without it, and set it down on the table. Hmm, transfiguration. Taking out my wand, I tried to recall the spell I would need when I found out I didn't know one. Duh, library! I headed for the Transfiguration section. I found what I was looking for...Mutobilius. There was a mini explosion when I tried it out on my knife. Pince made a sort of choking noise, probably itching to reprimand me but a student was asking her something. Okay, let's try again. I looked at the book and found my mistake. The spell only worked on alloys, my knife was made from pure Adamas. I found another spell, hope this works…Traduci. Aha! A quill! Now, down to work.
A few hours later, I headed up back to my dorm to deposit my stuff and shout at the two boulder-headed idiots. I found them in the common room, playing nice with a few First years. My stuff was hastily laid on a nearby table. I slowly, casually walked over to them.
"Ahem, gentlemen," I said with a deadly undertone, "If you two would be so kind as to follow me outside?" I was planning to give them a stern talking to, and then hex them. They looked around and saw me. Usually, they only follow Draco, but as Draco's associate, they occasionally follow me. But it seems not today. I couldn't tell if they're disobeying me because they want to or because they don't know what I'm asking them to do. I thought what the hell and decided to hex them right there. Firstly, I put a Full Body Bind on them. I levitated them and stuck them to the ceiling twirling them around for good measure.
"That is for shagging on my bed." I lowered my wand and let them hang for about five seconds then I sent then hurtling down. The whole dungeons shook with the impact.
"And that was for letting me see you on my bed after shagging." Then finally, I put an Itching Charm on them. They would be itching for weeks. Crabbe started to roll around the floor. Oops, I forgot to lift the Full Body Bind, oh well.
"And that's for ignoring me a while ago." With that, I put my wand back into my pocket, got my homework and went to my dorm. I inspected my bed and called a house elf to change my beddings and burn the old ones. Placing the books and parchment down on my disinfected bed, I heard the door open. And who else could it be.
"Draco," I said without turning.
"Blaise," he greeted back, "I see you've been busy in the Library."
"Well, you know, homework doesn't do itself." I was bending down, pretending to fix my things. I really didn't want to look at him at the moment. I could hear footsteps coming and tried to drown it out with the rustling of parchment. I felt his slender hands snake their way around my waist. He hugged me from behind. I stood up and accidentally leaned in further to the embrace. He bent down and started sucking, nibbling, kissing down the side of my neck.
"No more turtlenecks for you," he said into my neck.
"What are you doing?" I asked out of sheer reflexes.
"Making up for lost time."
"Draco, its time for dinner, and I'm really hungry." Which was true. Plus, he was making me shiver again. My knees were going to buckle any second now. He stopped his necking and whispered oh-so-silently into my ear,
"Meet me at that room of yours after midnight."
"You do know I'm seeing someone, right?" I had to push him away.
"You didn't seem to mind at all last night." His silky voice almost made me want to ask him to take me right there and then. I had to resist even if every part of my existence wanted him.
"Last night," I said turning to face him, which was a mistake because he didn't let go of my waist so now I was pressed up against him in a very unnerving fashion. I could smell spices again. Our faces merely inches apart made my breathing hitch for a fraction of a second.
"Was a mistake," I finished lamely after regaining composure.
"See you later." And with that he headed out of the dorm, robe billowing behind him.
I really, really hated him now.
I waited a few minutes before going down for dinner. I did have to arrange my things and pull myself together. I grabbed my school robes and headed toward the Great Hall. As soon as I entered, various aromas wafted in my general direction. God, I was hungry. I sat at the far end of the table, hoping to eat without having to face Draco. He would usually sit somewhere in the middle, with me beside him. Crabbe and Goyle would sit opposite us and Pansy would sit on the other side of Draco. Looking over, I found my seat unoccupied. Bullstrode tried to sit there but got a nasty glare from the Slytherin Prince. He turned his head and saw me glancing at their direction. Turning back to my meal, I filled my plate with everything I could lay my hands on. I could feel his stare burning a hole at the side of my head. Eat Blaise, focus on food.
Then I heard laughing. I looked up and stared at the Gryffindor table. The Golden Trio was chatting animatedly with other students. I saw the mudblood flirting with the Weasel. My, my, the Head Girl is a naughty, naughty one. Mr. Harry Potter was talking to a delectable Irish Gryffindor. Seamus Finnegan, the guy I'm seeing. He looked simply delicious with his sandy brown hair and sexy accent. Just then, two owls swooped down from the ceiling. They circled a bit before diving. One came towards me, it was a school owl. I got the letter tied to its leg, gave it a piece of my roll and let it fly off. The letter was short only saying 'Let the show begin.' I looked up trying to make sense of it, when I saw the mudblood's face drain of color. The other owl was for her, and from what I could tell, it wasn't going to be a nice, quiet dinner.
"Hey, Granger!" Not good. Draco was shouting from his place at the table, with a smirk on his face. "Nice pictures!"
Granger was trying to hide the pictures from the Weasel, but he eventually got hold of them. His mouth dropped and his face was frozen in a look of horror. He looked at Granger and said something. She ran out of the Great Hall, bawling her eyes out. He stuffed the lewd pictures into his robe and, Gryffindor to the end, marched right up to Draco hoping to keep thy maiden's honor. He was being tailed by the great Boy-Who-Lived and one other Gryffindor, my little Irish friend. Shit! The professors were weary, but did nothing. Snape was about to jump up but the Headmaster's stare held him back. The redheaded flaming ball of hatred, known as the Weasel, said something to Draco and went outside. Crabbe and Goyle were about to rise, when Draco gave them a severe look and followed out of the Great Hall. He passed by where I was seated and spared me a quick glance before he left. Damn! He was asking me for backup. Without any further thought, I stuffed a roll into my mouth and followed suit.
When I finally found the room they were in, the Weasel was storming out. That really bugged me. He was the one who wanted a rumble. I walked in to find Draco at one side of a disused classroom with the pair at the other. I went over to Draco's side, sneering at the Gryffindors.
"Was Weasel chickening out?"
That got quite a reaction from Wonder boy.
"For your information, RON went out to find Hermione. I don't even know why you're here Zabini, you weren't invited."
"I need a second don't I?" This was Draco. He was just standing there, all cool, twirling his wand between his fingers.
"A second?" I asked, apparently I haven't mastered thinking quickly under pressure.
"They want to have a Wizard's Duel. It's Potty with Finnegan for his second," he said, stopping his wand tricks and bowing his head down as if contemplating the mysteries of the universe. Then, he looked up and asked,
"Would you be mine?" He was staring at me again. His eyes flickered with a secret meaning, a secret question, a secret wanting. Again, processing was slow, but when I got it, it hit me like ten bludgers in rapid succession. He's making me choose between him and Seamus. It isn't even about Seamus really, if I chose him, it's like me choosing Draco Malfoy above everyone else I might be involved with. It's choosing Draco Malfoy above everything else I hold dear; principles, love, honor…It's choosing Draco Malfoy above Blaise Zabini. That really wasn't fair. But if I let him down…no, I can't even think about not choosing Draco; loyalty was the only choice he was giving me.
"Sure," I said. Draco then pocketed his wand and headed for the door.
"Duel's over Golden Boy, I've already won."
He planned this, he planned everything! I was livid. After Draco's exit Seamus walked up to me after whispering something to Potter. Apparently, Potter knew about me and Seamus and that's why he didn't faint when Seamus took my hands in his and kissed them. He asked me about Draco's behavior and the Mudblood's pictures. I asked him to tell Potter to leave, but Potter refused to. I said something like, Fine then I'll leave, then I did. Seamus would want an explanation, as all Gryffindors do but I wasn't up to telling him about Slytherins' shady dealings; loyalty is a fickle little bugger. I had to get out. I marched right past the Great Hall, where dinner was still being served, and straight into the grounds of Hogwarts. It was still snowing and the cold bit feverishly into my skin, but that didn't matter.
I walked on until I got to the lake. There was a thin layer of ice on top but I knew below it would still be liquid. I took out my wand and melted a circle of ice big enough to fit a person. My robes came off in a careless manner and within seconds I was standing with only my boxers on. I was shaking, but I didn't pay it any attention. I dove right into the freezing lake. Instantly my mind was made blank by the shock to my system. I used to swim in a lake near our manor when I was younger but only in the winter time. The instant numbing sensation makes one focus on the activity at hand. I would do it whenever I felt stressed out. There was only one thought in your head when you swam in ice, and that is to remain alive. I swam deeper and deeper into the abyss. My lungs were begging for warm air and I could feel my limbs getting stiff. Then, I stopped diving. I remained suspended in the infinite dark. I looked up and saw the moonlight through the hole I made. I raced towards it, with one thought in my mind, surviving. I surfaced, got dressed and headed towards the castle. Without bothering for a drying spell, I tracked water and snow into the halls. My hair was plastered to my face with small icicles hanging from each tendril. I am most certain that my lips are blue from the cold and that my hands were shaking. My robes felt heavy and were starting to get wet from the inside. They gave no warmth at all. I heard students exiting the Great Hall, dinner was probably over. The corridors soon filled with people, some staring at the dripping boy in their midst.
"Zabini!" Oh God, it was the Weasel's voice. Before I knew it, I was shoved none-too-gently against a wall and flaming red hair had monopolized my vision. He had a fistful of my robes in his hands and was obstructing any movement from my torso up.
"Seamus says you know something about Hermione's pictures, so spill!" He said the last word with a bang to my head against the stone behind me.
"Why would I know anything about that mudblood of yours, and if I did, do you honestly think I would tell jack to filth like you!" The pain on the back of my skull was blurring my vision. Thank God, my insults are set on autopilot. Weasel punched me square on the jaw. It wasn't enough that I was freezing; I had to be bleeding too. I could hear people gathering around the scene. Whispers and bets made their way to my ears.
"You Slytherin scum!" He was frantic. He then put his forearm across my throat making it quite difficult to breath.
"I know you did something to her! Some sort of spell…TALK!"
Well, needless to say I couldn't, not with his weight on my windpipe. Of course he didn't know he was the one stopping me from giving the answers he needed.
"Mr. Weasley!" The stern figure of Ms. McGonagall swam into view. Weasel let go of me and I doubled over, trying to get my breath back.
"20 points from Gryffindor for fighting with fellow students and detention. Now, Mr. Zabini please go to the hospital wing and everyone else go to your respective dorms."
"This isn't over," Weasel hissed before turning back and heading away.
I touched my tender jaw and tried to assess the damage. It's going to bruise. I felt around and touched something damp. Turns out, I had a cut from where his ring collided with my jaw. I looked at my finger and saw specks of red. I hastily wiped it on my robes and reached for the back of my head. I felt a rather huge lump but no blood. I went to the dungeons and straight to my dorm. There was nobody there so I stripped and dried off. I got warm clothes from my trunk and left my wet clothes on the bed where a house elf would pick them up later.
I went to the bathroom and locked the door. Pulling out my knife I pried open a loose tile on the wall. I reached in and found a vile. It was a small vile with dark blue liquid. I took out the stopper, covered it with my thumb, tipped and righted it in one swift motion. The stopper was put back and I hid the vial back into the wall. Replacing the tile, I sat on the floor. I set my thumb over my tongue and closed my eyes. Instantly, my whole body went rigid. The potion seared through my veins leaving a trail of heat. My vision was bombarded with colors and swirls. I could feel my heart pounding, trying to rid itself of the potion. My toes curled and the hairs on the back of my neck stood. I started convulsing on the floor. My head swam and images flashed before my eyes. Ringing started in my ears and then the familiar cold swept through my body.
Walking through Hogwarts at night can be a challenge. You never know what lies behind shadows. I finally decided to get up and meet with Draco. We were going to talk and put all this craziness behind us. Navigating was a little tough considering I technically didn't know where that room was. I was drunk and sleep-deprived the times I found it. That was why I was late 30 minutes before I saw the familiar hallway. I took a deep breath and headed for the door. It was slightly ajar as I peered inside. The window was closed and the boxes were still a threat to society. Everything seemed as it was when I first came here. Everything, that is, except the couple having sex on the floor. Moonlight illuminated their figures. I saw and flash of silver-blond and that was all it took. Shoving the door open, I stood there while the door hit the wall and the bang disrupted the couple. It was Felis, looking a little horrified. She tried to cover herself up with their robes scattered on the floor.
"Blaise, you are late."
"And you are naked." Which was half true, he was shirtless. Felis looked confused and stopped her frantic search for clothes to wear.
"Felis, love. Thanks for the quickie but it's over."
"What? I-I-I don't understand."
"Run along little kitty." Draco waved a dismissive hand and Felis was flung out of the door with her clothes flying after her.
"Impressive." Which it was, we could all do wandless magic but doing it so carelessly was impressive. Draco stood up and walked towards me. He was getting closer and closer. I put a hand to his chest to stop him. He looked down at the hand and then back to me.
"No, Draco. I came to talk." I pushed him gently aside and closed the door.
We were seated like we were the night before. Draco had a shirt on now and was staring into space. There was silence up to that point. I studied him. He looked like he did when he lost his stuffed unicorn. We were about 9 years old. He loved that old ratty thing even if he had clearly outgrown it. Senior Malfoy ordered him to get rid of it saying that no Malfoy was to be attached to a silly stuffed animal. Draco refused and hid his treasure away. I came to his house one day and found him curled up in his bed. He wasn't crying or complaining, just staring out the window.
'What's wrong Draco?'
'I lost Uni.'
'Oh.' I couldn't comfort him then. I didn't know what to say. Then, I just hugged him. He didn't move, his body was stiff. I never saw his parents hug him before. I don't think he was ever shown affection physically.
'It's going to be alright.' He relaxed into my embrace and before we knew it, we were sleeping together. I was woken up a few hours later. My mom said we had to go home. I saw Draco still sleeping and asked my mom if I could stay with him. My mom had tears in her eyes, I didn't understand. She said something like we had to leave because Draco had to talk with his family about something. I said he lost Uni and I had to stay. She was dragging me away. I wanted to stay, so I shouted and shouted. Draco woke up. He looked at me with sad eyes. Then the looming figure of Lucius came into view. He glared at me and I stopped shouting. He went into Draco's room and shut the door. My mom bent down and told me that we had to go. She said something about private matters and obligations. We left, never knowing what Lucius wanted with Draco. We moved after that and I didn't get to say goodbye.
I didn't see him again until we both entered Hogwarts. Draco was different and distant. It was later that I found out that Lucius was the one who took Uni away. He took Draco away as well. Draco was being groomed to be a Death Eater, to be next in line to the Malfoy throne. Lucius was furious when he saw us sleep in the same bed. He said that Malfoys didn't need anything, anyone. Draco was to be the Malfoy heir. He couldn't be weak or needy. He must learn to be self-reliant and independent. Emotions made people weak. And a Malfoy was never weak. I wasn't brought up that way simply because I wasn't the heir to anything. I had an older brother. He was supposed to be the Zabini heir. He died, serving the Dark Lord. And I was next in line. I guess that was why I never got annoyed with Draco's arrogance or his mean streak. I lived a fairly normal childhood and now I was being introduced to his world. I was never pressured into anything. I've seen both sides.
"What is this really about Draco?"
"What's what about?"
"THIS, the kissing and everything!"
"Please elaborate, Zabini."
"First, that thing with Seamus? Why do you have to drag him into this?"
"I didn't drag anybody, anywhere. He was the one tagging along."
"You know I would have chosen you above anything. There was really no need."
"I knew you would choose me, but I had to let you figure that by yourself."
"Let me finish. I had to let you find out where your loyalties lied. And this isn't about dating anyone. Go screw Snape for all I care! The point is, you shouldn't let personal matters interfere with the bigger picture. I had to let you cut your own ties."
"What bigger picture?"
"The war is coming."
"I know it's coming. It's always coming, it's never here. I'm sick and tired of it"
"With your brother gone, you will have to protect your family."
"I don't understand"
"You will, in time."
"Stop being so damn cryptic! This isn't about the fucking war! This is about you and me."
"Blaise, I had to make sure you were going to side with…"
"Is that it? You want to make sure that where my loyalties were? That's why you kissed me."
"That's totally different."
"Because, I need you! Okay? You are the only one I can trust. I need you! Is that what you want to hear? I, Draco Malfoy, bleeding need you! I don't want to be alone anymore. You couldn't possibly understand before, but now…Now you and I are in the same boat. I need someone to make sure I don't go overboard. There has to be one person I can depend on to not kill me when my back is turned! One person by my side. And that person has to be you!"
"What do you want from me? I can't save you."
"I don't want you to."
"Then what do you want?"
"I don't know."
"You stop being a prick for one second…"
"Just SHUT UP! Blaise, I just need you to be Blaise. You'll be Blaise and I'll be Draco. Nothing has to change."
"But it already has."
"Just, just be Blaise for me."
"I will always be Blaise, but not for you."
"Then just let me be Draco. I just need Blaise for now. I can't lose you, not now. Not when things are starting to happen. Please."
His eyes mirrored those of a nine year old boy's waking up and finding his friend was going to leave him. It was then that I got it. He wasn't asking for romance or for a quick fuck. He was looking for comfort. I hugged him, like I did 8 years ago. He tensed up again. He clearly wasn't comfortable with sharing his feelings. But he knew he was going to lose me if he didn't let me see a little deeper. I can't give him comfort, but maybe I can give him Blaise.