Carrots Are People Too

By Shyro Foxfeather


Beast Boy was at it again. He was spasmodically waving a butter knife in Cyborg's general direction and shouting the most absurd things.

"I told you no meat! How on earth—or any other planet—did you find meat bread? You have destroyed the sanctity of my breakfast!" He wailed as he waved the utensil threateningly.

Cyborg, who merely raised an eyebrow as he flipped the flapjacks, shook his head in disbelief. "B, you can't just not eat meat."

"Yes I can! If I ate meat it would be cannibalism!" Whined the green Titan.

Raven sighed, as her agitation rose. Day in and day out they would fight like this and it was wearing her nerves thin.

Beast Boy seethed in anger as Cyborg taunted him endlessly. He finally just aimed and fired the metal kitchenware at the half-human half-robot.

It bounced off him like rubber.

And at the speed it was going at it rammed right into Raven's book—which was luckily not a magic book and just a library book—like a bull's eye. Now a giant stab mark marred the pages of the poor Odyssey.

She turned to the two, fangs bared, as tendrils of smoke rose from her robe. To say the least Beast Boy and Cyborg were sacred witless. They must have turned three shades lighter.

Raven seemed to calm down to a mere blood boil as she curtly snatched her book up—knife and all—and strode out of the room.

As soon as the sliding doors shut B and Cy let out a relieved breath. The almost regained their former colors.

A few minutes later, however, they paled again as Raven walked in. She was lacking the book but she did have a sheet of paper in hand.

She turned her attention on Beast Boy, who had frozen at her gaze, and calmly walked toward him.

"Here." She hissed before throwing the paper in his face. He reached up a plucked it from his head before looking at it in a wary manner.

His eyes grew to the size of saucers before he flung the paper away and tore out of the room screaming bloody murder.

Cyborg blinked as he thought he had seen a grin on Raven's face. However, that had passed so he snatched the paper up from where it lay on the black and white kitchen tile.

And laughed. Hard.

It featured an article that had been printed from the Internet. It went on about the planet Ranhop and how it's people were all vegetables. It had pictures of carrot, soybean, and broccoli people too.

As Cyborg clutched his stomach Raven shook her head and replied morbidly, "Carrots are people, too."

Unfortunately this caused Beast Boy to eat—or drink—nothing but water for the next week or so until Raven lied and said she forged it.

Although it was amusing to see him rocking back and forth in the closet muttering that the vegetables were going to get him…


Disclaimer: Don't look now, the kiwis will eat your soul with their cheese plushies of doom! Beware the shoelace! Despite what information the rabid frogs may have informed you with, I do not own Teen Titans, which means we will be busy trying to take over the company running it and unclogging our chimney.


Beware the footy pajamas!