Title: A Well-Placed Slap (I am sooo sorry, I couldn't think of anything else. Title suggestions would be greatly appreciated)
Author: vegemite
Rating: K plus, for minimal swearing
Summary: Sequel to 'Medical Injectors.' My now somewhat embittered Random Rebel finds Han and Leia alone again, but this time it's a little less explosive...at first.
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. Dur. If I did, my stories would be published, regardless of whether or not they should be :P
A/N: Thankies to millpzonesyou (TFKAK), Paris, Momo, and Indy Smith for beta-ing. Sort of.

There they were again.

At least this time they weren't in the medical bay, so I didn't have to worry about their tendency to ruin my inventories. Well, that had only happened once, but my superior officer wouldn't believe me when I told him that Princess Leia had aided in Han Solo's abduction of one (apparently) highly sought after medical injector. Luckily, all I had to do was an extra hour's work in the med bay, and I spent that secretly watching a holovid.

Still, I had something of a grudge towards the two of them. That didn't mean I wasn't going to spy, though.

This time they were actually pretty peaceful. I had stumbled upon them hidden away in a corner, Solo giving some kind of gift to the Princess.

"I--we just found it, Chewie and me, on the last mission." He ran his hand through his hair, slightly embarrassed? Nervous?

"Han!" she gasped, clutching the small rectangular object. "This is a copy of my favorite Alderaanian story! A real, original, nerf-skin-bound copy! How did you get this?"

"It was just lying around." Liar. Anything related to Alderaan was expensive and hard to get your hands on these days. The Princess, of all people, knew this well. "I recognized the picture on the front from the holo in your quarters." Her quarters? When had he ever been in her quarters? They weren't...were they?

Of course not. From the way she was blushing and he was shifting around his vest every couple of seconds, it was obvious that these two were not sleeping together.

Damn. That would've made for some mighty fine gossip.

"Thank you, Han." She bit her lip, and before I knew what was happening she had thrown herself into his arms. He was a bit surprised, but after a few seconds hugged her back and grinned. Aww, how cute. And utterly pathetic. I hate sappy love stories.

"I just wanted to apologize," he said when they broke apart. Ah, here was the set up I was used to. They get into a fight, Solo has to mend it, even when it's her fault. "I didn't mean to bring that up..."

"I know." She smiled up at him shyly. Oh, come on! This was pitiful! Solo, what's wrong with you? Losing your edge? Princess got your tongue?

Oh, no. No! No no no! I didn't mean that literally! Please no!

I couldn't take this any more. While this would've made some interesting short-term gossip, I had to think into the future. Their peacemaking would bring about the end of all that was good about the Rebellion! And by that I mean that the hot chick from Tech wouldn't talk to me unless I had the details of the latest Solo/Organa fight. Women are so weird like that.

Plus my commanding officer would never believe me about the medical injector thing.

So I knocked over a crate. Yes, it was stupid, and anti-climactic, but it was all I could think of, and it worked. Solo and the Princess' heads snapped in my direction. Then Leia realized how close Solo was (pretty damn close!) and managed to muster a look of shocked indignation before snapping his head back in the other direction with a well-placed slap.

"What was that for?"

"You tried to kiss me!"

His eyes went wide and he threw his hands up in the air, stepping away from her. I think he might have been swearing. Heh. Good.

"What are you talking about, I tried to kiss you? You were the one trying to kiss me!"

"Captain Solo," she said icily. I think that everything on the planet that wasn't already frozen became frozen then. "You are mistaken."

"Captain Solo?" He was on the verge of roaring. "A second ago it was Han, and now we're back to Captain Solo?"

"That is the proper way to address you."

"You call slapping me proper?" This was getting good! I wished I had a datapad so I could get this down! Then again, Tech Chick might just skip me and get straight to the written stuff.

Maybe I was becoming a little obsessed. Was my fascination perverse? Was I being sadistic, knocking over crates in the path of true love? I hadn't acted this way the first time they'd "shared a moment" in my presence. Well, I hadn't realized women dig gossip yet. And the Dynamic Duo hadn't gotten me in trouble with my commanding officers yet.

Ah, who cared? This was getting juicy!

"It was appropriate, given the circumstances."

"Oh, this is just great...well, if it's 'appropriate,' Your Worshipfulness, I think I'll take my leave." He stalked off, muttering something along the lines of erratic women. Han, I sympathize.

The Princess was left standing there, alone, still clutching the book. She looked down at it softly for a few seconds, absent-mindedly touched her fingers to her lips, and left.