Title: Keys to Diplomacy

Author: Letta

Dislaimcer: I don't own the show or the manga.

Rating: R

Summary: Naruto enjoys the perks of being Hokage when the Kazekage visits for a diplomatic meeting. Naru/Gaa

The rest of this can be found at AFF, same title, same penname. Link in profile.

Naruto looked at Gaara.

Gaara looked at Naruto.

Naruto grinned. Ever since becoming Hokage, he had been having lunch with some of the most interesting people. This list included the current Kazekage. It wasn't actually the first time they had met or eaten together since the blonde had followed the redhead's lead and got appointed to office.

The reason for the Kazekage's visit was twofold. Part of it was exchanging and adapting training regimens to hopefully gain stronger shinobis for the future of their villages and to strengthen alliances. Not that the alliance between the two villages was in danger given who the kages were. The second part was to settle some obscure trading issues of some merchants between their villages that neither of them cared about. They felt the same way about it, but Naruto had been the one to so eloquently put it, "The bastards are just bitching for the sake of bitching."

Naruto had suggested they make trading more strict and harder to do, just because it's really make them whine. The Sand's kage was slightly more practical, but he couldn't say he didn't think about it.

It turns out, Gaara was fond of oranges. And chicken. And staring at Naruto.

That's okay, he was staring too.

Whether or not it had been his intention, Gaara had developed a staring contest between the two kages.

Gaara quirked a non-existent brow at Naruto's grin.

"What are you smiling at, Uzumaki?"

"Nothing," he replied, smile growing broader.

"It is not nothing."

"So maybe it isn't."

"Then what is it?" Sand's leader demanded, growing annoyed with the antics of the Leaf's ruler. The redhead was beginning to see how the Leaf had grown considerably proficient in negotiations since Naruto had been appointed to office. Everyone gave him what he wanted because dealing with him otherwise resulted in the grinding of teeth and smashings of heads against brick walls.

Yes, Naruto was a genius in idiot's clothing.

Or maybe it was that he didn't give a damn about diplomatic relations so he didn't care how he acted in front of foreign dignitaries.

Gaara honestly wasn't sure.

The positions for the Hokage's advisors usually had to be refilled every few months.

Luckily, some of his more permanent advisors, namely Shikamaru, had known him since before he had attained his position, and had developed countermeasures. Shikamaru ignored him through the clever implement of naps. Neji had opted to work part time. Unsurprisingly, the Hyuuga's success rate on difficult missions received just after advisements with the young Hokage were astoundingly high... and usually quite violent and brutal to anyone who got in his way.

Naruto had been meaning to set up an appointment between Neji and a shrink. Not because he was worried about the Hyuuga's mental health, but because he thought it would be funny. Maybe a little painful, but Naruto's ANBU guards were obligated to step in before it got too serious. After all, it was their job to protect the Hokage from serious bodily harm and assassination attempts.


The question snapped Naruto back to attention, and not even caring that he had been caught daydreaming in front of a foreign power, he grinned even more. Besides, it was just Gaara, and they were sort of friends. At any rate, they could relate to each other.



"Yes. You were staring at me," Naruto clarified.

"And that made you smile." Whether it was a statement or a question was unclear.



The Hokage shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess I have a thing for attention."

Gaara said nothing, but stared. After a moment, he smirked.

Naruto squinted his eyes in confusion. "What?"

"You like my attention?"

"Sure, I guess."

"You like me staring at you?"

"What are you getting at?" the blonde asked.

A moment later a wave of sand swept everything off the desk in between them. A loud crash and the sound of unsorted papers resounded throughout the room.

Naruto blinked and looked at the floor to his left where all his paperwork lay, not to mention the broken plates that had once held their lunch. He couldn't possibly get to work on it now that it was all out of order… Unwittingly, Gaara had just provided the Hokage with another excuse to put off paperwork. 'Gaara did it.' would deter most of his advisors. A lot of them seemed to be scared of the Kazekage.

If the fact that the ANBU guards had not charged into the room at the sound of the crash surprised Gaara, he didn't show it. The truth was, they were used to such sounds coming from their Hokage's office. Unless they actually heard their blonde leader shouting curses and felt his chakra explode into action, they tended not to worry. Naruto frequently erupted into violent cursing, but when he began to use his charka, he was either getting in a fight, or he was trying to destroy paperwork. Both occurrences usually merited their intervention. There were lots of people that wanted to beat Naruto up. Few who could. Fewer who could before the ANBU guards got into the office, if any.

Naruto's attention was back on Gaara when the redhead firmly planted both palms on the desk and then started coming over. The blonde's eyes widened as sand fisted around the front of his shirt and roughly pulled him forward. His lips met another pair as a hand weaved through his hair before gripping the strands and yanking him closer. Mouths mashed together harshly, before lips parted and teeth clacked together noisily.

Not one to be passive for long, Naruto grabbed the Sand kage's arm, yanking forward and swiftly pinning the redhead to the desk as he stood to gain more leverage. Using his free hand, Naruto clasped the Kazekage's jaw and pulled it open, immediately slipping inside for further exploration. Gaara, for his part, eagerly responded, before flipping them over and reversing their positions. With gusto, the sand nin began to run his hands down the length of the blonde's body.

Naruto shivered, then rolled them over again to get the upper hand... and rolled them onto the floor with a heavy thud. Gaara's sand barely had enough time to cushion their descent, but neither seemed to care.

Outside the doors to the Hokage office, Neji switched off his Byakugen immediately after the second crash. Feeling the sudden decrease in chakra usage, one of the other ANBU guards turned to him.

"I don't think we need to worry about them killing each other," the Hyuuga responded, thankful that his mask was in place. It hid his blush.

The other ANBU looked at him a moment longer, but Neji refused to elaborate. Naruto knew that they usually used a Hyuuga to spy on him during his meetings in case things got out of hand, supposedly for the Hokage's own safety and security (though everyone knew better) and he knew that they would be this time, too. Either the blonde had forgot, or he just didn't care. Probably both.

Neji decided that the next time he was asked to spy on the Hokage, he'd come up with a mission. He really did not care to know how many of Leaf's diplomatic issues were solved in this manner.

Back inside the office Naruto had successfully divested Gaara of his vest and coat, noting with some surprise that Gaara didn't wear a shirt underneath.

It was kind of sexy. Actually, it was really sexy, and as far as Naruto was concerned, an invitation. Who would he be to turn down such an offer? The Hokage, but that's not the point. It's not like he could turn it down, anyway. What with the way Gaara was breathing. The way he was moaning. The way he was saying his name! Cheeks flushed, chest heaving, one leg hooked over his hips while an arm was desperately trying to pull him closer... hair even more tousled than usual, eyes wild with amorous lust... Gaara was an unwitting advertisement for sex.

Naruto grinned wickedly. Thanks to Jiraiya's tutelage and Kakashi's under-the-table advice, he knew more than his fair share regarding sexual activities. It was another wonderful opportunity to apply that knowledge to its fullest.

So he did.

Diving down, the blonde viciously attacked the hollow of Gaara's neck, gripping a thin wrist with one hand while his other trailed down the Kazekage's arching back, stopping just above the waistline of dark pants. He smirked when a growl bubbling from Gaara's throat turned to a rumbling purr.

Laving his tongue over a waiting collarbone, Naruto bit down, bruising the flesh and earning a strangled mewl. The sounds Gaara made were so interesting. Much more interesting than diplomatic discussions, besides, he was currently strengthening diplomatic relations. Growling lowly, the blonde bit his way down the redhead's chest, reveling in the taste of feverish flesh, salty with sweat. He breathed deeply, drinking in the sand nin's scent as the hand lightly tickling the small of Gaara's back hooked fingers into the hemline of black pants, sliding around to the front to thumbing the clasp designed to keep them on.

Gaara, for his part, had his free hand desperately fisted in blonde hair, rocking his hips not-so-subtly against a toned abdomen. A hand lazily toying with the hem of his pants at the front hitched his breath. "Naruto..." he let out in a shuddering whisper. Not even a sinful god had ever sounded more deliciously becoming.

An instant later and the redhead had wrenched his trapped arm free and fairly tore the cloak off Naruto's shoulders before rabidly ripping the thin material that covered the blonde's chest off his sculpted body. Dry lips scoured the expanse of skin and it was the Hokage's turn to moan.

Outside one of the ANBU guards turned towards the door worriedly. He was younger and newer to the ranks.

"Should we go in? It sounds like their fighting or something. I think I just heard a moan."

"The Hokage frequently gets into scuffles with diplomats from other ninja villages. This is not unusual," another, more senior ANBU said.

Neji tried to melt into the wall. The two ANBU with him weren't aware of exactly what kind of 'scuffle' was producing the sounds that would occasionally escape from within the room. He wasn't about to enlighten them, but for the record, it was 'unusual'. At least, he hoped it was.

As if to prove his point, the older ANBU turned to him.

"Would you use your Byakugen to check?"

"No!... That's not necessary. The Hokage is..." he paused for a moment, "…fine."

Neji scowled beneath his mask. The melting into the wall trick failed miserably.

Naruto quickly undid the pants of the man in his lap, feverishly pushing them down slim hips. He dipped his tongue into the hollow of the redhead's warm throat, causing the other to arch up against him, giving him the opportunity to slide the black material down slender thighs.

Apparently Gaara didn't wear anything under his pants, either.

He wasn't one to complain… well he was, but not about something like this.

Grinning like the devilishly handsome man that he was, Naruto brushed against the sensitive skin between the Kazekage's legs. The sand nin keened appreciatively, as he struggled to further divest the Hokage of his clothing.

Naruto, being the thoughtful and eager man that he was, decided to assist his ally and quickly shucked his pants before laying Gaara on the floor and covering the redhead's form with his own.

The two sweat-slicked bodies slid against each other as Naruto let one of his hands trail between them. Gaara immediately arched up into the touch currently assaulting his nether regions as the blonde began idle strokes.

"S-stop teasing, Uzumaki."

"Che. Only if you beg."

A few more passes along straining flesh had rough hands fisting desperately in blonde locks. In retaliation for the virtual neglect, Gaara bit down on a tan shoulder, drawing blood. Naruto hissed in pain as his eyes lidded even more. In response, he viciously tore at red hair, exposing the throat and brutally attacked with his mouth.

Gaara grit his teeth as his hips bucked wantonly against the man above him, the pain from having his hair pulled spurring him on further. He dug his nails deep into a muscled back, leaving angry red streaks.

The Hokage clenched his jaw before roughly shoving his fingers in a warm mouth.

"Suck," he bit out, his tone demanding.

Gaara exited the office, an arm thrown over the Hokage's shoulders for support. Naruto looked at the youngest ANBU.

"Please assist the Kazekage back to his rooms." He couldn't keep the grin off his face as he said this. The young ANBU member tentatively offered his shoulders as support, carefully looping Gaara's arm over him. Naruto quickly reached out and smacked Gaara's rear end, his grin stretching wider as the three ANBU stared. Gaara made no sign that he'd noticed, save for the very slight coloring of his face. The Konoha nins watched as the redhead hobbled off with help, wincing every so often.

Naruto was rather pleased with himself.

Then the blonde turned to Neji and winked.

"Enjoy the show?"

The Hyuuga sputtered before answering.

"As the Hokage, you should have more respect for your title than to engage in such acts during what are supposed to be diplomatic negotiations."

"Gaara didn't seem to mind, and he's the Kazekage."

"Gaara can't even walk right."

"Yes, I know," the Hokage said, a rather perverted grin spreading across his features. Before he could be answered, the blonde went back into his office and shut the door.

The other ANBU ripped off his mask, his face contorted in fury as his eyes reddened dangerously. He glared in the direction the Kazekage had disappeared in.

"I'll fucking kill him."

"He's in enough pain as it is, Uchiha," Neji replied, inwardly smirking at how his comment made the other man stiffen, face darkening even more so. He wondered how much longer it would be before the Hokage figured out someone else had a crush on him… and exactly how many seconds later it would take for the blonde to act on it. He'd doubt he'd be able to keep himself from laughing long and hard the day he saw the dark haired man next to him leave the office behind them with a noticeable limp. In the meantime, he would satisfy himself with making comments with seemingly innocent origins to rile up the Uchiha heir.

A/N: As for the end part with Sasuke... well, all I have to say is that Naruto may very well be bi, but Sasuke is definitely gay.