Disclaimer: Hellsing belongs to Kouta Hirano.

Author's notes: Set after the Manga, possible AU for future issues and spoilers for volumes 7&8. I thank kelles for editing this. Feedback is appreciated.


"What is this supposed to be, Walter?" Integral asked, accepting the bluish paper her manservant handed her. By the size, she assumed it was one of the endless bills of rebuilding the Mansion that never ceased to arrive.

"Take a look, Sir Hellsing," he replied, annoyingly courteous and hiding a smile. She did not let his innocent façade fooled her – a fiendish gleam glittered in his red eyes. Walter acted far more rebellious as a vampire, even out of Millennium control, Dracula had explained to her he had rejuvenated in manners and not only in body.

As if I haven't enough with the Count. I have to nanny two child-minded vampires instead of one, Integral thought grumbling to herself and settled to scan the sheet. Amazon? She lifted a brow, chewing her cigarillo as she continued to read, examining the articles listed below. Titles such as 'Alucarda,' 'Bathory,' 'Carmilla,' 'Countess Dracula,' 'The Blood Splattered Bride,' 'The Brides of Dracula,' and 'The Vampyres,' among others in VHS format appeared in alphabetical order.

"What is this rubbish, Walter?" Integral demanded, crushing the bill. She was slightly miffed, with all the reparations, she was short of budget to indulge his horror fetish.

"Vampire films," Walter replied simply, he did not move a muscle from his straightened and stiff pose. Though his respect was half mockery.

"I gathered that," Integral shot back. She may have never seen one of those fictional and inaccurate flicks, however she was not stupid and could guess. "I mean, why did you order this? Trying to escape your reality by fantasy?"

"I feel insulted, Sir," Walter smiled, shaking his head. Inwardly, she grimaced to see his fangs, it was hard getting accustomed to watch the God of Death that state. "I certainly did not order those. It was Miss Victoria who purchased them."

"Seras?" That caught her attention, Seras had been awfully quiet lately. "Why did she do such a thing?" It was truly unlike her to do things without Integral's knowledge.

"Apparently, according to her, she wanted to learn more about her vampirism," Walter elaborated, his expression shifted to serious for a second before he regained his devilish quality. "It seems she couldn't just learn Latin to read the available books in the library."

"What about our Count? I assumed he finally started to seriously training her," Integral sighed, exhaling smoke through her nostrils. Vampiric dysfunctional families were a pain to administrate.

"Miss Victoria doesn't feel confidence enough to face him - which isn't surprising. And she didn't want to bother any of us for we were occupied."

"So she decided to purchase films instead?" Integral questioned, her voice dripping in sarcasm. "That wasn't smart, I never thought she could be so gullible."

"The 'voices' in her head suggested that it was a brilliant idea," Walter said, pointing to his head. "She allowed the Captain take over her body to buy the items on line, due to the lack of a store in London to purchase them herself. Or anyone living in the city to sell them," his tone was wry with sadistic humour about the tragedy. "She told me her Captain had watched them previously and thought would be a good help."

Integral frowned. While she trusted Bernadette in the tactical sense of defence and ammunition dealings, she rather doubted he was a good tutor in the formalities of the vampire kind. "Where is Seras now?"

"The merchandising arrived today," Walter answered, once again that bothersome smile appeared on his lips. "She is in her room watching the tapes. I brought her a video and a TV set for her personal enjoyment."

"Return the films to the senders," Integral rose, tossing him the rugged paper sheet. And before he could protest she added, "I don't care how you do it, as long it doesn't involve dismemberment or death. Just do it, Walter. I am going to speak with Seras."

"Don't worry, milady. There's a new virus of my own design I always wanted to test."

Integral ignored his obvious plotting and his heavy gaze over her back and retreated from her office to speak with the Captain, or Captains she did count as two. The knight descended twice – the ample and velvety carpeted staircase of the hall and the narrow and grim stairs that led to the basement. The Count was out tonight to impale with the rest of his unholy army, therefore she could speak to Seras without feeling the walls developed ears… and countless red eyes.

The volume must had been high, for Integral could hear the dialogue from the films, or rather the noises that came out of the TV – guttural moans and cries of pleasure accompanied by a laughable soundtrack. The owners of the voices were blatantly females.

What did she buy? she wondered, feeling her cheeks gaining heat when she distinguished to suckling from the rest of the sounds. Taking a moment to compose herself, Integral knocked the door. Immediately, the room became silent. Seras must have turned off the recording, Integral assumed.

"Er-yes?" Seras asked, tone quivering.

"It's Integral. I am going to enter," she answered, not asking permission. She did not need such in her own Mansion.

Integral lowered the knob and opened the door. Seras' room changed since last time, unlike Alucard, the girl had chosen to add a personal touch – painting her walls from a yellow shade and adding animal ornaments on the desk.

"Sir!" Seras saluted, rising from her chair, as the screen of the TV was static. She was dressed quite mundane - a long orange T-shirt that hid her curves and a pair of jeans. It was no secret Seras loathed her uniform of the short skirt Integral forced her to wear. She thought it was quite becoming on the former policewoman and better than her former attire.

The knight inclined her head, greeting the Captain quietly and soon she sat down once more, tidying her shirt and nervously closing her legs. "What can I do for you?" Seras asked.

Integral approached and sat on her coffin, staring at the television. "Walter told me about your purchased items…" she trailed off, fairly sprawling on the lid. Seras' nervousness increased, her fangs elongated as she tried to avoid eye contact. Integral watched her the whole time, taking notes of her behaviour linked to the casket. "The least you can do before returning them, is offering me to watch them with you. You wanted me to pay for them without seeing the quality of the products first?"

"But Sir!" Seras protested, gulping. "They are probably boring for you. What kind of reality could they show?" Her statement was a bit defensive for Integral's tastes.

"I would decide the accuracy of the portrayals, Seras," Integral reasoned, her tone was wise and collected. She waved her hand towards the remote control. "As an expert in the field, it's my duty. You may proceed."

Seras shot her an aghast look then pressed play once more. The screen flashed images of a pale brunette lady nibbling a bronze skinned blonde's neck as they 'played' in a bathtub filled with blood. There were gratuitous shot of nipples, of course.

Integral was both appalled and intrigued. She was aware of the lesbian approach of the female vampires. It was not mere fantasy; the records of Elizabeth Bathory and the tale 'Carmilla,' as real as Stoker's book, were the proof of that. Aside from that, the sensual scenes were affecting her self control, however, she managed to avoid blatant arousal - Seras could smell her and she would not risk to be discovered.

"Sir Hellsing," Seras interrupted her concentration on the writhing victim. "I-I can explain! I didn't know this had… well you know… I went to an orphanage and we didn't have these stuff there. It was Pip's idea! He told me that knew good films starring female vampires and he's laughing at me now," she said, a bit upset.

Integral smiled. Seras looked endearing when she was embarrassed. Before her, she was not aware vampires could blush so much that their ears reddened too.

"Pay attention, Seras," Integral ordered, pointing with her inner finger the screen again. The camera focused the vampire in pure ecstasy as she feasted in the blood of her lover. "Her victim is a willing virgin, correct?"

Seras absently nodded.

"Then it's not as far fetched," Integral told her, crushing her finished cigar on the lid. Seras' eyes glowed and let a small growl that soon abated. Indeed, her instincts had progressed. "You do remember the time I fed you, don't you?" she asked.

"Yes," Seras replied, her gaze was on the ground again and the blush increased. She was going to become a redhead if she kept acting like that. "I-I do."

"That was just a small taste of virgin blood, what that vampire is feeling," Integral concluded, watching the Midian kissed her lover passionately. "It's the unearthly pleasure of mouthfuls laced with desire."

"Oh," Seras uttered, fingering her collar. She was sweating, Integral could tell by the moistened glowing of her pale skin. Meanwhile, the human lover bit her companion's lips with blunt teeth, causing her to shudder.

"You don't have to rely on films, Seras. I wager you are eager but this extreme measure is unnecessary," Integral added slyly, sweeping the ashes off the lid. "Next time you have doubts about your nature… ask me directly. I could translate the Latin books for you or aid you to practice your vampirism. You are an asset for my Organisation, not a burden, more so now that I have run out personnel," she offered solicitously.

"Practice?" Seras wondered aloud, looking her with wide eyes. "What do you mean with that, Sir?"

In the screen, the vampire bent over the human woman's open legs, sinking on the blood and causing her to buck, arch and scream obscenities. Her imagination told her what exactly she was doing and needed no more visual teasings. Integral rose and turned off the T.V. set, turning to face her subordinate.

"Why, Seras? Isn't it obvious?" Integral asked, furrowing her brows. "I am going to help you to distinguish reality from fantasy. Let's see how accurate these films are." She smirked at the shocked reaction.

Against the popular belief, Integral was not uptight, she chose to be a virgin to keep an extra enticement and control over her vampires. A reminder her blood was a drug for them and she was the source of their addiction. Really, she had witnessed of her father's insatiable appetite for young men and women after her mother died. Arthur Hellsing did not educate his daughter as a pristine saint nor was he a shiny example of chastity for her to follow.

Seras stood and approached Integral, her motions were less clumsy than usual but not quite predatory. She gave her points for trying. Her grin, however, was absolutely cheeky. "If you don't mind, Sir," she said, "Maybe we should finish to watch the flicks then we can check their accuracy together."

"Might as well," Integral turned on the television again and led her to the coffin to sit over the lid together. Soon the room was filled once more with the pleasurable noises of female gasps, moans and the unforgettable sucking sound.