A/N Welcome back folks. How long has it been four, five months? Well let's not dwell on whose fault it is that this story hasn't been updated and let's look at the positives. Namely Part 2 of the "Kim writes a romance novel" story. Enjoy this humorous(I hope) little chappie.
Kim slowly opened the door to the master bedroom and peeked inside. She smiled; thankfully, the room was empty. Ron was nowhere to be seen. She tiptoed silently into the room and snatched her laptop off her desk drawer. She looked over her shoulders as she turned on the power.
Good, I can finally get started.
As she placed her hands over the keyboard, someone grabbed her from behind and kissed her tenderly on the neck.
"I think it's about time for Ron's mid-afternoon snackage."
Kim trembled lightly in his hands at first, but then she pulled herself together and broke away from Ron's grasp.
"No," she said firmly.
"Huh," he said slightly confused. "That's a normal reaction to your husband's loving embrace." It was then that he spied the open laptop. "Hey, have you started writing again?"
"Mommy look over here, over here," cried Adrian, as he jumped back and forth on the bed.
"That's great Ad'…. the kid's a natural."
"A natural at what, jumping on the bed? No jumping on the bed Adrian!" He jumped into her open arms and she stood him next to Ron.
"Alright you guys, just give me one afternoon. One afternoon of peace and quiet, can you give me that?"
"Sure thing Kim, everybody needs some alone time. Nevertheless, uh, can I once again bring up the subject of mid-afternoon snack----?
"Five, ten minutes tops."
"I said no."
"Alright, what do you say about a brief dip in the hot tu…"
"How about," she said, clearly annoyed, "if I started rationing the snackage?"
Ron put his hands up as a sign of surrender. "Fair enough… I take my leave." He picked Adrian up. "Lets go play Ad'… but first, maybe a cold shower."
Kim let out a sigh of relief when they finally left the room. She pulled the laptop closer and plopped herself on the bed.
"All right, here we go." She began to type.
That's where he saw her for the first time; she was a redhead with golden eyes. The sight of her almost stopped his heart. This vision of loveliness was almost too perfect to behold. He knew immediately that he had to have her.
Lady I want you, I want your body, I want your soul. He ran his hands through his ruffled blond hair and popped a piece of gum in his mouth.
This man is impossibly handsome, thought Kimber, as she noticed Jon Omatopoeia approaching her table.
He fixed his gaze on her. She dropped her eyes, the color rising in her cheeks. Suddenly she found herself acting like a sixteen-year-old girl.
"Oh yeah," Kim said as she looked over her writing so far, "I'm feeling it today."
Kimber blushed like a schoolgirl. Yes, she was a reserved person but she never thought of herself as shy. There was something about this man, which made her ignore everything about her personality. Forcing her to act like someone she didn't know.
Her fingers were dancing across the keyboard, when she heard a light knock on the door.
She stopped. "Yes?"
Ron peered in through the door. "Yeah, uh, Kim… I was checking on Sarah and she's giving off this smell."
"So uh, it's really bad."
Kim rolled her eyes. "Ok, if you change her diaper, then she won't smell."
Ron ran hand across the back of his neck. "Right, right… that thought did cross my mind but uh… I snuck a peek inside the diaper and it's real bad."
"I'm sure you can handle it Ron. She is your daughter after all."
"No, you don't understand… the smell, when it hits your nose, it's just… I… I… I can't do it."
She turned towards him, pushing her bottom lip out slightly.
"No please," he pleaded.
She tilted her head.
"You can't imagine how horrible it is… I'll do anything, I swear."
She looked at him with big sorrowful eyes.
"Not the pout," he groaned, "curse the pout… Alright I'll do it. Pray for me?"
"You have my thoughts and prayers." Kim smiled and turned back to the computer
"Something important is happening here. Can you feel it?" Jon said.
"Yes," she managed to choke out. "I feel it and it scares me." Her voice was barely a whisper.
"I won't do anything that you're not ready for." He sat closer to her, and she was filled with the scent of him. He looked into her eyes. Eyes filled with a mix of trust and fear.
"Oh God it's every where!" Ron screamed from the other room.
He laid his hands gently on her shoulder and pulled her close. She tried to pull away; she had to go before this grew into something she couldn't handle.
"If you're ready I'm going to kiss you," he said nonchalantly.
"Ack I can't get the smell off my clothes! The horror, the horror!"
She was excited but at the same, completely terrified. "I think I'm ready," she answered, his mouth was only inches away from hers.
She slid her arms around his neck. "I'm ready."
Suddenly Ron walked briskly into the room. He wore a surgical mask over his face and large latex gloves on his hands. "I need the baby powder," he said before rushing out the door.
He turned to her, smiling softly, caressing her cheek. "I won't lie to you Kimber, I want you, and I've wanted you since the first time I laid eyes on you."
Kim almost fell out of her seat when she heard the blast of loud music coming from downstairs.
"What in the world?"
Ron pointed the microphone at Adrian who began to sing "I'm never ever gonna quit"
"Cause quitin' just ain't my schtick" Ron continued. "I'm gonna stay right here with you. Do all the things you want me tooooooooo. Yeah!"
Adrian clapped at the end of the song. "That's a good song."
"You don't know the half of it Ad'. That song helped get you a sister." He pushed a few buttons on the karaoke machine. "One day my boy, you will also realize the vast importance of Barry White. However, right now my young padawan I shall teach thee the one dance move that will never go out of style…the robot."
Git on up on the floor. Cuz we're gonna boogie oogie oogie till you just can't boogie no more. Boogie no more. You can't boogie no more. Listen to the mus------
"Hey what's going? "Ron said as the song cut short. He smacked the Karaoke machine. "What's wrong with this thing----"
He stopped hitting the machine when he saw Kim standing in the room holding its power cord. It didn't take too long for Ron to realize she had pulled it from the wall socket.
"Too loud?" he chuckled nervously.
"Just a tad." She tossed the cord to the ground and walked away.
"By the way," he called after her, "have you given any thought about----"
Ron shrugged. "Can't blame a man for trying"
Jon nibbled at her ear, once again causing her to tremble. She knew she should push him away, but she found that she couldn't, she had never felt so desirable. A whimper of pleasure escaped her lips as he moved down her body with a spiraling pattern of kisses.
His goal was to make her want him, and he had succeeded beautifully. He brought his mouth to her lips and consumed her with a kiss that sent electricity through her body.
Kim stopped when a chill traveled up her spine. It was a warning signal that had never failed her in all her years of heroism. She stood up. "I sense trouble."
Adrian watched in anticipation as Ron squeezed every drop of chocolate syrup he could muster out of the bottle into the gigantic bowl of ice cream.
"And now for some nuts and a cherry...Perfect." He handed Adrian spoon. "Ad', prepare your taste buds for an adventure."
Ron and Adrian looked up at Kim at the same time, and then they looked at each other.
"Ron, didn't we agree after our sugar-rush adventure at Disney World, that Adrian would cut back on the sweets."
"We did… if I remember correctly it was you—"
She glared at him.
"Right, we did agree to that." He turned to Adrian. "Sorry buddy, mommy says no ice cream."
"But mommy said if we waste food it makes angels cry."
Ron smiled. "The man makes an excellent point Kim. What about the ange---" He stopped when Kim gave him a look that sent shivers through his body. "Alright Ad' let's save the ice cream for later and we'll go watch the Lion King"
"Yay, Simba," Adrian exclaimed as he ran in to the living room.
"Man he loves that movie," Ron laughed, and then he looked back at Kim. "I wasn't going to give him the ice cream. I was just going to um….have a told you how beautiful you look today?"
"Do you want me too make love to you Kimber?" he whispered, as his lips brushed against her ear.
"Yes," she said breathlessly, her fingers exploring his hair. "Oh yes!"
He kissed her thoroughly before trailing his mouth down to her collarbone.
"Ooooooh," she moaned.
He drew her close, as he stripped her of her dangling bra.
Kim stopped and took a sip of water. "This is getting a little steamy."
A whimper of long-denied pleasure escaped her as he touched her budding----
Kim could tell the noise was coming from the living room. She fought back her natural urge to find out what was going on. She continued typing, but of course she was half expecting another crash.
"This is your last chance," he said. "If you want to stop this, just turn around and walk away."
"I'm not going anywhere."
He kissed her with all the passion he had. She was hardly aware when he carried her towards the bed. His mouth covered hers for another mind-blowing kiss. Kimber ran her hands up and down his broad back----
Ah, the other shoe had just dropped. "No… no… Ron should be able to handle it. I should trust him."
She surrendered all that she was to Jon. Her soul had finally been set free…
"Hmmm, good things always come in threes," she grumbled. As she climbed down the staircase, she spotted Ron and Adrian running out of the living room.
"What happened?" she asked sternly.
Ron jumped at the sound of her voice. "Oh Kim, did we disturb you?"
"It's a possibility… So what happened?"
"It's actually a funny story, you remember the coffee table?"
"Daddy broke the table," Adrian laughed. "It just went kaboom and kableesh and crash!"
"Thank you Ad'… let daddy handle this." He turned to Kim. "So what happened was… I was a gazelle."
"Yes a gazelle, and I was being chased by the lion."
Ron patted him on the head. "He's a very convincing lion"
"I was Mufasa"
"Ooooh! Say it again!" said Ron.
"Mufasa, Mufasa, Mufasa, Mufasa!"
They broke out into laughter.
Kim cleared her throat and the laughter came to a stop in an instant. "I've got an idea, why don't you guys go to the park?"
"Right… the park…" Ron ran his hands across the back of his neck again. "The thing is… there was this altercation…"
"See, this kid was bullying Ad' and I tried to talk to his father and he was all like 'don't tell me how to raise my kid'. Then he got a little shovey, so I tried to reason with him----"
Adrian threw a punch. "And then daddy went kapoow and hi-ya… Like the Power Rangers."
Ron ran his hand roughly through Adrian's hair. "Ha… Ha Ad', you're getting daddy in more trouble."
Kim massaged her forehead. "And you were going to tell me this when?"
"Whew… I was thinking… maybe… like around… never."
It was tense moment as they stared at each other. Kim looked towards the living room.
"So is everyone alright?"
"Oh yeah, everybody is peachy keen. Ad's fine since I did most of the breaking."
"So you're ok too?"
"Good." She started back up the stairs. "We'll talk about the park incident later."
"I look forward to it," Ron called out after her. He looked down at Adrian. "Ad', we need to have a little talk about secrets, or let's avoid having daddy sleep on the couch."
He stared at her mouth agape "what are you saying?"
"I'm saying I love you Jon. I'm not leaving that is, if that offer to marry me is still on the table."
Jon gave a shout of joy before embracing her. "Of course it is."
"So how long are you planning on sticking with this lovable loser?"
"Forever," she replied.
He kissed her again. "That's not long enough."
She gave herself up to the excitement as Jon began to remove every article of clothing on her and making a point of kissing and caressing each part of her he undressed.
Kim stopped and looked at the time. She had been in a good flow for a while now. In fact, it had been a few hours since the last interruption. She was amazed that Ron had managed to keep quiet for so long. There was something suspicious about that.
The first thing she noticed upon entering the living room was the shattered table in the middle of the room. "Ron is a natural disaster."
She walked over to the big screen television and turned off the power, before turning towards the couch.
There she found Ron sleeping, his right arm around Sarah who lay asleep on his chest. Her small body moving up and down with his chest as Ron breathed in an out. Adrian was asleep at Ron's feet on the other end of the couch.
"Awwwwwwww." She cooed at the sight of her family together.
She placed Sarah on her shoulders. Ron awoke when he felt Sarah's weight lift off his chest.
"Hey," he said drowsily.
"Grab Adrian," she said, "let's get them to sleep."
"So how did your writing go?" Ron asked as he placed Adrian on his bed.
"I think it went pretty well." She kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you."
He smiled. "Just doing my job ma'am"
"So I guess we should talk about the whole fight at the park thing," he said sheepishly as they walked out of the room.
"Yeah we should, but first I think it's time for Kim's mid-evening snackage" she grabbed his hand and led him into the master bedroom.
"I've heard about morning snackage, mid-afternoon snackage, 3 A.M snackage, and commercial break snackage…but I've never thought about mid-evening snackage….Its brilliant!"
"I had a feeling you'd like that idea"
"I'm not complaining," he said as she kissed him. "But it seems to me that every time you write you get a little frisky."
A/N Since I've been gone for so long I'll leave you guys with a bonus. A sneak peek at the next chapter that I'm working on
Ron awoke with a start; a pool of sweat had dampened his side of the bed. He took a deep breath and collected his thoughts.
What is with these dreams about my old lifestyle? It's so weird. Hey Kim I…." He noticed that that the other side of the bed was empty.
Right she was taking the kids to the doctor today.
He slipped on his slippers and headed to the bathroom. I've been having these same dreams for the past week. Am I starting to miss the way I used to live? Am I starting to regret getting married already?
"It can't be," he said as he brushed his teeth "I'm happy being with Kim and the kids. Things are going great. I don't regret getting back together with her at all."
I'm too young to be having a mid-life crisis he thought as climbed down the stairs of his home
His maid Luciola greeted him at the bottom of the stairs. "Good morning Ronald. Here's your coffee."
"Thank you Luc, good morning to you too," Ron said as he accepted the cup
These dreams must mean something I've had them every night for seven days! He sighed
Suddenly the doorbell rang, Luciola made a move to the door but Ron stopped her.
"It's alright, I'll get it"
What am I getting all worked up for? The past is the past; it's all behind me now.
He opened the door and got the shook of his life.
"Hi Ronnie" exclaimed his ex fiancée Shelia.
"What…" Ron looked over his shoulder "What are you doing here Shelia; you can't just pop in here after two years unannounced."
She grabbed his arm "Ronnie aren't you happy to see me?"
Ron pulled away "stop that….geez" he looked around again "what will the neighbors think? Look Shelia I have no idea what you are doing here but let me get this through your skull. I'm married now…I have a family. So don't get any ideas about…" It was then, for the first time, did he realized that she was holding a small child in her other arm.
"That's my surprise…This is my son."
"Cute Kid I…...I…I…Please don't tell me ----
What did she call him!
"Say hi to your daddy!"
"N...nnnnn….no…no…no...No...No...No…Nein..." Ron stammered.
"What's the matter Ronnie…I used to call you daddy remember"
Ron gulped as he stared at Shelia "no" was he all managed to blurt out before slamming the door on her face.
It's a dream…I'm having a nightmare…oh god this can't be happening…oh man I'm hyperventilating. This is just a nightmare it's not real.
He slapped himself "come on wake up, wake up, wake up!" He continued slapping himself until his face was bright red.
Oh, right maybe I can resolve this peacefully. Without Kim tearing out my heart, yeah I will just explain to Shelia nicely that I already have a family. Sure, everything will work out I'm worrying over nothing.
Ron opened the door "Sh----
Shelia grabbed the child by the arm "wave to daddy Ron JR."
The world was once again beginning to spin around Ron, he was suddenly short of air "I...uh…I No!" he gasped before slamming the door shut again.
Heh now that is an interesting turn of events. This thing is quickly turning into a soap opera. Read and Review of course