Why Me?

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Tru Calling. This fan fiction is based off the season two episode 'Last Good Day' and includes dialogue from the episode along with events.

Why did it have to me? Why did she have to pick me? I'm Death – I'm not supposed to be asked for help. Yet she asked. I really wanted to let her live, but I can't. I can't mess with Fate even though I want to. I shouldn't have let her go after that list!

"Jack! Help me!" Megan screams as she clings to my arm with both hands. I want to pull her up and help her.

But I can't, I'm not supposed to. Why did she have to ask me? Why couldn't she have asked Tru? Here she is, begging me to help her and her life is in my hands. Fate is in my hands.

"Jack! Help me! Jack!" she screams again and she looks down at the ground. It's a long way down and I remember seeing her dead the day before on that same piece of ground.

I feel frozen inside. I can't seem to pull her up or let her go. I'm just standing there, afraid, letting her cling to me. What should I do? Should I let go, as Fate wants it to be? Or should I help her, like she is begging me to do so?

"Pull me up! Please Jack! Please!" she sobs. She's terrified. She doesn't want to die. I want to help her like she's asking, but I can't seem to do it.

"I can't," I tell her, shaking my head. "I can't. I'm not strong enough."

I'm not lying and I can see the fear in her eyes. I'm too used to being Death, too used to making sure Fate gets what It wants. I want so badly to change my ways, just this once, just to save her. But I can't. I'm not strong enough to do it.

"Jack! Jack, please! Help me!" she pleads again, looking at me with her saddened eyes.

I shake my head, hardly believing what I'm doing and say, "I'm sorry, so sorry."

"Jack! Jack!" she begs again, knowing that she can't hold on for much longer.

She knows that she's about to die. She knows that I'm holding her life in my hands. But her hand slips and slides out of my hand as she screams and flies down to the ground. I can't believe it. I let her die. I'm frozen in shock and it takes me a few seconds to move my hand as Tru appears at my side. We both look down and see her final seconds and watch her hit the ground, helpless to stop it.

I back away in disbelief, How could I have let that happen? How could I have not saved her? Tru is staring me, but I can't meet her eyes. I can't believe that I let Morgan die. I'm horrified at myself.

"I wish it were you," Tru says to me, not bothering to hide the disgust for me and what I'm just done in her tone.

"That makes two of us," I reply, still shocked at what I had done. I could have saved her! I should have saved her! That or I should be the one on the ground. But I'm too late. She's gone and I can't change that. I can't change that…

Why did it have to be me?