I Am


"I am one, but I am one; I cannot do everything, but I can do something; and what I should do and can do, by the grace of God, I will do." Unknown


Life is filled with uncertainties. We can never be sure if each moment might be our last and so we cannot afford to leave anything or anyone waiting in the wings. For peace will never be achieved by one who lives with regrets.

I don't regret anything that I have done. I know that I am not perfect and I have no desire to be. I've made mistakes and I have hurt people. I know that and I can live with it because I also know that I have done everything within my power to atone for those mistakes. The rest is up to them. Maybe I am not the person that people think that I should be, but I'm okay with that too. I can't and won't be anyone but me.

I've been told that I am the reincarnation of a great priestess who, during her first life was beautiful, graceful, gentle, quiet and mature. She was powerful and well equipped with a bow and arrow - a champion archer. I have been told that I should strive to be more like her. I simply smile and nod silently, knowing in my mind that that will never happen because I am me and that is all I will ever be. I'm compassionate, optimistic, short-tempered, I try to be kind to all people. I'm passionate about the things I believe in and I tend to yell a lot. Especially when it comes to dealing with certain members of my circle of friends.

I am a decent shot with a bow and arrow, but I'm no expert. I am not exactly coordinated but I do the very best that I can. I've been called weak, but know that I am not.

I have been told that I should love a certain type of person and while my mind agrees that this person is probably the best thing that might happen to any girl, my heart pulls me to someone else entirely. Mr. Perfect doesn't need me - I am not perfect and I don't want to be. I am drawn to the one who does need me to heal him and I will because I know that I am the only one who can.

I have loved so deeply that I have simply wept at the thought. Because of that love I have forgiven the unforgivable, I have understood that which cannot be understood and I have done the impossible. I have given my heart freely to one who is not free and I have given it knowing that some day in the near future I will have to leave him and follow a path of life much different from his and leading me far from him. But my heart will stay with him no matter where I go because I know that despite everything I would never be able to love another as much as I love him and it would be unfair of me to try.

I am loved by the man who holds my heart. He has never told me that he loves me and he probably never will. I have never told him how deeply I feel for him and chances are I will never be given the chance. 'I love you' is a simple phrase, but I believe we will never speak these words to one another because we don't need too. Our love is pure and simple and complete. To try and express it in words would only taint it and make it a complicated mess.

And one day I will leave him because as much as I love him I know that to stay with him would ruin what we share and I could never allow something this beautiful to fester into something hideous and ugly. And when I do leave him I will wish that he would forget me because to remember would only cause him pain and I never want him to hurt again. Not after I've worked so hard to heal him.

I am a miko, but I don't practice. I am the purifier, the holy one, the guardian of an ancient stone, the next in line for a position that has been passed down in my family line for hundreds of years. I am the only one who can contain a power stronger than your wildest dreams - or my worst nightmares. That which I guard has brought pain, suffering and death to innumerable people, but it has given me everything I ever needed and never knew I was missing. It has brought to me more than I could have ever wished for.

I am Higarashi Kagome: granddaughter of Higarashi Hitomi; daughter of Higarashi Haruki and Takaeuchi Keiko; sister of Higarashi Souta.

I am Higarashi Kagome: sister to a girl who lost everyone to the brother she loved; sister to a lecherous monk who keeps a good spirit despite knowing he will loose his life to a curse he did not deserve; granddaughter to a priestess who had no reason to take me in or share her home with me, but who did so anyway; mother to a child I did not bare but feel as if I did; lover to a man who pines for another; enemy of he who threatens to take away everything I have worked to achieve.

I am Higarashi Kagome. I am a teacher and a student; I am a healer and a destroyer; I am a friend and a foe; I am a guardian and a ward.

I am Higarashi Kagome. I am the reincarnation of a priestess who despises me. I am the creator of a legend so fantamic most believe it never happened, but hope that it did. I am the guardian of a jewel so powerful that it scares me.

I am Higarashi Kagome. I am everything that I can and ever will be.

I am Higarashi Kagome.

Ka-go-me.