He Ain't Heavy by The Lady Arianrod

a/n: Takes place as Al questions his past. Introspective look at the Elric brothers. This first chapter is Ed's POV.

Disclaimer: I don't own Full Metal Alchemist.


"It's a long, long road

From which there is no return

While we're on the way to there

Why not share

And the load

Doesn't weigh me down at all

He ain't heavy…

He's my brother …"

'He Ain't Heavy', The Hollies

No one said that alchemy would be the death of me.

Well, it wasn't. I'm still alive, but… Life can be so damn heavy. It's full of those really long silences that can be hurtful and downright unnecessary…

That's why I hate when they happen. Al doesn't think that his life has value—he's thought this for a while. And that time when he asked me what I was going to tell him… He's been quiet ever since.

It really can get frustrating when Al believes that I used alchemy to influence his memories. Even though I want to scream and shake some sense into that quiet, looming metal skeleton….

I can't.

I remember his voice, his warmth, his actions… He is still that kid who used to run alongside me through the ankle-high grass… The kid that caught lizards and frogs to bring to Winry… The quiet, kind boy that always idolized me---


Even though this whole damn mission—no, this life—has gotten so incredibly out of proportion, I don't care what happens. I only want to get Al his body back, even if he stares into my eyes and says that he hates me.

He isn't a stranger or a fictional boy. He is the same kid that I still miss—and love.

I sometimes wish I'd say that more often.