Disclaimer: "The Pretender" and its characters do not belong to TNT and NBC and are being used without permission. Please don't sue because I have no money. Please don't sue because I have no money.
Author's Note: Pushed to far Jarod does the unthinkable. Everyone has a breaking point and this was Jarod's. First story that is like this, so please tell me what you think.
I Love You
Jarod stared at the two-story house gathering up his courage into what he was going to do. He had traveled all the way to Blue Cove, Delaware to say what was on his mind to Miss Parker.
He made up his mind and walked up to the front door ready to knock. The door opened as a very surprised Miss Parker looking at him.
"Are you crazy? Sweepers might be watching the house."
"I already checked around. There are no sweepers here."
"Then maybe I should call them."
"Please Miss Parker. Don't do that. I just want to talk to you. That's all. I'll talk to you and then leave. Please hear me out."
"Come in then."
Jarod walked into the living room and stood there waiting for Miss Parker to follow him.
"What do you want Jarod?"
"Ever since we got back from Carthis I think there has been a change between us. I know that there's more to our lives than I run and you chase. I know what that is. Love. I love you Miss Parker."
"Love? You don't even know what love is lab rat. How could you know what love is? You were stuck in the Centre since you were kidnapped. You never got to experience, so how would you know what it was?"
"I know that I love you."
"No, you don't Jarod. You have no clue what that word is. You might love that little girl who gave you that kiss, but I'm not that little girl and you're not that little boy anymore."
"I know that Miss Parker. I loved you since I was that little boy and I still love you now. That will never change."
"How can I love you, huh Jarod. You are a lab rat, a science experiment and a monster."
"I am a human being with feelings, Miss Parker."
"No, you are what the Centre made you."
"I am not a monster."
"Yes, you are. Not even I can love you. Now get out and leave before I call the sweepers."
Jarod looked at her one more time and turned to leave. He couldn't believe that she could be so mean to him.
He stayed in Blue Cove for another night because he needed to see someone else.
He got out of the car and headed to the front door. He hoped that at least Sydney wouldn't hurt him.
He knocked on the door and waited patiently until Sydney came to the door.
"Jarod someone could see you."
"Don't worry Sydney noone is around. I checked."
"Come in then."
They headed to the living room and Jarod looked around. There were pictures of Michelle and Nicholas. He then sat down and faced Sydney who was sitting in one of the chairs.
"I came here to tell you something. When I was a little boy inside the Centre I had noone except you and Miss Parker. There were times that I cried myself to sleep because of that. I wanted to tell you that I love you as a son should love his father. In my eyes you are my father. You were the one who raised me, you were the one who showed me how to tie a tie and you were the one who helped me when I needed it. "
"Jarod we had this conversation before. You are not my son and I am not your father. Yes, I did sort of raise you. You were my pupil and I was your mentor, of course you would form an attachment to me, but I can't be your father."
"You are my father. You may not be my biological father, but that doesn't make you less of a father."
"I'm sorry I can't be that to you. I have a son Jarod."
"Yes, I know that you have a son. Without me you would have never known about Nicholas. You love him don't you? You love him even though you don't know him, but me who you spent time with year after year you don't love me. I am just a science experiment to you? Aren't I? Am I that much of a monster that nobody would love me? Am I that terrible?"
"Jarod, you know that answer to that."
"Do I? Miss Parker doesn't love me and you don't love me. How could I think otherwise? Thank you for being honest at least. Don't get up I'll let myself out. He got up and quickly went to the door, closing it behind him and walking to his car. He drove away deep in thought and decided he had to get out of Blue Cove today.
He had been here for a while in his latest lair thinking about what had gone on before in Blue Cove. He hasn't had any luck trying to find his family. They were more adept at hiding than he was. Of course his father had his clone to help with that. He hasn't even had the energy to do a pretend lately.
He picked up the gun and toyed with it a few moments and then put it to his head. He couldn't go on like this forever and he was so tired of doing this dance. He wanted it all to quit and he had to end it.
They barged in looking around. The body had already been taken to the local morgue and they had identified it already. Miss Parker stood there in shock in the middle of the living room Sitting on the table were some envelopes. One was addressed to her, Sydney, Broots, Major Charles and the rest of his family.
She opened hers and read it.
You are probably wondering why it had to end this way? I was tired of this game that we played for almost most of our lives. I was a lonely boy inside of the Centre and you were my one true love and the light of my dark life. We had so many adventures inside the Centre and we were such close friends. I don't know what happened to make you hate me so much, but I got tired of trying to find the little girl inside the woman you grew up to be. I told you that I loved you and you threw it all in my face. I couldn't take it anymore. Am I that unlovable? Am I that much of a monster?
The other two envelopes are for my family. The family that I never got to find, or get to know. Please give them to them if you find them. Please don't take them back to the Centre if you find them.
Sydney watched as the tears trickled down her face and opened his.
Why couldn't you love me as a son? Am I not that important to you? I know that you tried your best in protecting me from becoming someone like my brother Kyle and I thank you for that. I guess you couldn't, or wouldn't love me because I was a lab rat. I know that you love Nicholas more than me because I remember the time that I helped rescue him for you and you hit me on the head. You wanted to rescue him because he's your son. I know that you loved him, but could never love me. I don't know what I did to not be loved, but I am sorry. I have reached you time and time again, but you threw that in my face.
I told Miss Parker that the other envelopes are for the family that I never got to know. If you see them, or if Miss Parker and you see them please give them to them. And please don't take them back to the Centre.
Then it was Broot's turn. He was surprised that Jarod would leave him something.
Thank you for helping me with Damon when I needed it. I saw you with Debbie in the park last week and I'm glad that you both are happy. Please accept this check that I sent you and buy something for Debbie and yourself. I'm glad that you got custody of Debbie and you are a wonderful father to her. Don't let her grow up to soon and cherish her because she will grow up too soon.
As I told Sydney and Miss Parker. The other envelopes are for my family. If you, Miss Parker or Sydney see them please give them to them, but don't let them take them back to the Centre.