A/N: So, if I get a good response to this I'll continue it. I haven't really got a season in mind, just one of the more sane seasons. This does include quite a lot of gay overtones and I'm not talking just about Tim and Gavin. So, anyhow, if that offends you, I gave you a warning.


'Right, right!' Brittas clapped his hands loudly, the sound echoing around the empty car park. 'Can I have your attention please?'

Laura rolled her eyes at his 'special-occasion' tone. 'What is it, Mr Brittas?'

'Well, Laura, I have a few things to tell everyone before we leave. Matters of great importance.'

'Yes, I was afraid of that,' she muttered then added so he could hear, 'Perhaps we could do this on the minibus, it is rather cold out here.'

'No, I...' He looked around the huddled staff members. 'Hang on, where's Carole? And Linda?'

'Already on the bus.'

'Laura, I specifically said no member of my staff was to board that bus until the driver conformed to company guidelines and disposed of his chewing gum in an appropriate manner.'

'That isn't a problem anymore.'

Brittas looked surprised. 'He did it then?'

'No, no, he went home.'

'What!'

'It's nothing to worry about...'

'Nothing to worry about!' he interrupted. 'Laura, I've got my staff together for the weekend, the one weekend we've got while...'

'Yes, while the electricity's being fixed,' Laura finished. 'No, what I mean is that Gavin's volunteered to drive.'

'But it's supposed to be his weekend off.'

'He doesn't mind.'

'Well, I...'

'Please, Mr Brittas! We'll never get there.'

'Alright. Everybody on the bus now please! Chop chop.'

As they filed onto the small blue bus, Laura mentally counted them off. Gavin in the driving seat, Tim, Julie, Colin, Linda and Carole were already on and Helen was... Where was Helen? Glancing round she saw a figure disappearing around the corner of the building. A safe bet.


'Carole, Carole, Carole!'

'Here he comes,' Julie whispered to the quivering receptionist beside her. 'Act like you don't know nothing.' Thinking, she added, 'That's the easy part.'

'Right, Carole!' Brittas dunked his head through the sliding door. 'I just wanted to check you got a babysitter alright.'

'Well, Mr Brittas, I...' Carole started but he cut her off.

'It's just you know my thoughts on children and theme parks. Not really for them now, is it?'

As Carole stammered with her reply, Julie moved her foot slightly, trying to make sure everything was shielded. It hit something though, something which squeaked.

His eyebrows creased. 'What was that?'

'What was what, Mr Brittas?'

Cue a whimper. 'That.'

'Um, my shoe, Mr Brittas?' Carole tried.

'Carole...'

Julie watched as the receptionist meekly pulled out a holdall from under her seat. Brittas took it, unzipping it. Carole, meanwhile, tried to talk her way out of the situation. 'I did have a sitter, Mr Brittas, but there was a problem with paying her and you know how Ben likes to bite...'

'Where's the other one?'

'Under my seat,' Julie said.

'Carole, Carole, I can't take a bus out of this car park if... Hang on, where's Ben?'

'Knew that one was coming,' Julie muttered.

'W-well, Mr Brittas, you know how he likes the dark...'

'You put him in the luggage compartment, didn't you?'


'Helen!'

With one leg over the wall, she looked back. 'Oh, Laura, I was just...'

'Admiring the view?'

She hesitated before bringing her leg back over and hopping down. 'It's very nice.'

'Mmm,' Laura nodded. 'I think we're about ready to go now.'

'God, I wouldn't bet on it,' Helen fell into step with the deputy manager.

'You think something'll go wrong?'

'Doesn't it always?'

'I did most of the organising on this one. He hasn't had chance to complain to any managers or pick fights. I think we're in the clear.'

'Laura, he's coming with us, isn't he?'

'Well, you never know. He might have a good day.'

Helen smiled at her optimistic nature. 'We can pray, I suppose. Just promise me one thing, Laura.'

'Of course.'

'Don't let Gordon drag me on anything big. You know Gordon, always wants the best for his money, don't let him bully you.'

'Oh, I think I know how to handle him.'

'We'll see.'


'You can't do this!'

'Timothy, I think you'll find I can. Carole, get your children out of the bus storage space and go home.'

'Well, Mr Brittas, I don't actually...' Carol started.

'Really, Mr Brittas,' Gavin said. 'Can't we just take them with us?'

'Take them with us! What kind of suggestion is that, Gavin Featherley?'

'Quite a good one, I'd have thought,' Julie muttered.

Carole was still chattering away. 'What with the centre being closed, I'm in a bit of a pickle...'

'Wrong answer, Julie!'

'How'd I guess?'

'Mr Brittas, they're just children,' Linda tried from her seat just in front. 'They'll have a good time.'

'After a journey under the bus!'

'Problem, Mr Brittas?' Laura had arrived behind him with Helen at her side.

'I'm dealing with it, Laura.'

'He's told Carole she can't come,' Tim put in.

'What? Why?'

'She's storing children under the seats!' answered Brittas.

'Oh.' Laura seemed to think quickly. 'Well, we can put them in seats, there's two spare at the back.'

'Think, Laura! They need safety seats and as for the one in storage...'

'Storage?' Laura repeated.

'Gordon,' Helen moved forward irritably. 'Use our car seats.'

He wasn't listening. 'What?'

'From our car. We can put them in here.'

'Well, we haven't paid for them!'

'They're under four, you don't have to,' Tim smiled.

For a moment he looked defeated. 'Well, there's Ben!'

'Ah, yes,' Laura answered. 'I took the liberty of organising him a ticket.'

'Oh, alright then.'


'Thirty miles to go!'

'He's going to do that every five miles, isn't he?'

'He used to do it every two miles until someone found a new use for a gear stick.'

Laura smiled at the woman next to her. 'He better be careful, even Ben hit him a minute ago.'

'These two seem alright, don't they?' Helen looked across Laura to the sleeping children. 'Bit quiet.'

'They're not used to the daylight, they'll sleep most of the day I think.'

'I remember when Gordon used to sleep all day.'

'When he was in the coma?'

'Mmm. Good days.'

Laura nudged her. 'Look at Tim.'

The young man was sat next to Linda glaring at Brittas in the front seat who was chatting to a panicked-looking Gavin.

'See? What's everyone going to be like by tomorrow?'

Colin turned around. 'This is a fabulous trip, isn't it?'

'Mmm,' answered both Helen and Laura.

'Such a bonding experience, the whole weekend together!'

'Yes, fabulous,' Laura replied uncertainly as he turned back in his seat. 'Helen, do you get the feeling of...'

'Imminent death?'

'That's the extreme but yes.'

'Of course, we're with Gordon.'


'We're here!'

'Thank God for that,' Julie muttered. 'How many times can you go round in a circle?'

'Be fair, Julie,' Gavin stopped the bus and looked back. 'It is difficult to find.'

'Oh, yeah, cause the signposts didn't give us a clue, did they?'

'That's enough of that, thank you very much, Julie,' Brittas turned from the passenger seat. 'Right, everybody. Rules!'

A collective groan went up.

'This is a staff outing so I don't want you all disappearing on me! I want to see all your happy faces, I'll stand under every ride looking for you!'

'Everyone eat the popcorn then,' Julie said, earning smiles from everyone minus, of course, Brittas.

'Thanks, Julie. Now, we are staying overnight so we'll need to congregate,' - Gavin dodged a highly erratic hand gesture- 'Near the park entrance to make our way to the hotel. About four o'clock, I'd say.'

'Can we get moving then, Mr Brittas?' Laura asked from the back of the bus.

'Of course. And remember, fun, fun, fun!'

Cue a collective eye roll.