Author's Note: Just bored during music class and whipped this together. There's no point and no plot or anything. Like I said, I was really bored.

But please read it and give it a shot. It's short- like two pages- but not too bad.

Summary: I don't know why I came here. A hot, smoky bar with a misfit crowd of loners and losers…

Genre: General, Humor (just a wee bit)

Rating: PG (for a tad bit of language)

Disclaimer: I own the setting and all the characters except Jack.

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Introspection of a bar

I don't know why I came here.

This place has always been packed full of idiots, drunks, and… well sorry-cases. I prefer the quiet solitude of my living room, don't know what I like about this place. I remember it as loud, crowded, and frankly it smells bad…

It's gotta be way passed midnight. One, maybe two. Not tired, though, that's why I'm here. Still on some other planet's time. Told the barkeep it was just jetlag. Same difference: jetlagged, 'gatelagged.

I used to come here a lot. That was a long time ago… before everything. Before the stargate. I came once in a while after… but now I just like to be left alone…

So I really can't say why I'm here.

Kind of interesting to watch from right here…

There's a fat guy over in the corner. He's been crying into his drink for two hours now- the same one. His girlfriend dumped him. Go figure…

There's another guy by the door. He's had at least ten shots and something before that. Totally sober though. He keeps looking around. A man who's been around, and I bet he has enemies.

Do I look like that sometimes?

There's a couple in the corner booth. They've had a few drinks and talk in whispers. They touch, but not a lot… one or both is cheating on someone… he's got a wife, you could see the ring when he called the waiter over. I don't know about her…

The only other person in here- besides me and the two guys who work here- is an older woman. She's been sitting three stools down, smoking her cigarette and downing shots. I've opened my mouth to tell her to put the cigarette out, but I never say anything. Doubt she would anyway.

She's at least forty- probably older. Not quite fifty. Her clothes are tattered and she doesn't look like she's changed recently. Probably hadn't bathed in a while. Homeless, I'd say.

Homeless but with money. Just enough of some kind of income to visit a bar every week- every night maybe. Enough to buy her cigarettes…

… I don't know why I came here. A hot, smoky bar with a misfit crowd of loners and losers… maybe because I am one, I don't know.

It's an interesting lot, that's for sure. I talked to Tim- he's the fat guy. Pretty rough life that Tim has. Lost his mother when he was eight- she walked out- and his father hates him. Was teased because he was overweight. And now he lost his girlfriend- she left him for a better looking guy…

Rough life. But I did managed to piss him off enough to make him leave.

Gwen, she doesn't talk much… All I got was her name and she stood up and left. She's the smoker… and now I know that she lives in her car. Didn't see lights before she walked in, and now I just saw her get in a car. No motor, no lights. It's still there…

And Paul. I went over to him… gawd! a half an hour ago… Paul wouldn't talk to me much. Not a word at first.

But if you get him going, you can't shut him up. He gave me a while two-word answer: "Sod off."

Well, needless to say, Paul and I didn't have the longest or most profound relationship but I did get to know him very well. He's a British male, can hold his liquor, suspicious of everyone and everything and sits by the door to escape from any problem he sees…

Like now- now I'm the problem and so he's leaving.

Don't care. Nope.

Just leaves me, the affair couple, the barkeep, and the-

"Goodnight, Pat."

and that's all, just the four of us…

There's the couple. Talked to the guy- Ken- earlier. 'bout an hour ago. When she- Maria- went to the 'ladies' room'.

He seemed like a nice guy. Definitely married. But not to Maria… he didn't come out and say it but the way he talked, it was like he hoped I would just assume that…

And maybe I would have if I hadn't seen her hand: no ring at all…

He's a well-off business something. Works for money-making corporations. He's down here for "business"…

Yeah, and maybe he really is…

Oh, they're leaving finally. They were here before me. Hours ago…

… and then there's the barkeep, now he's the real interesting story. Total and complete drunk. I'm serious. He keeps taking shots when the waiter wasn't looking. Didn't want him to know probably.

Holds it well. Hides it well. But you can tell he's slowly getting wasted. Slowly but surely.

He's married. Got a ring anyway. But he took it off just before his first shot- she doesn't want him to be drinking? That or she's dead and never approved in life. Maybe that's why he gets drunk… make sense if she's dead…

I drank plenty during my "retirement"- first and second… a lot of it here…

Yeah… the drunk, alcoholic barkeep… ironic and not really a cliché…

Well now it's just me and the drunk barkeep… fun. Yeah, interesting lot here. Those who make America famous.

"Hey. I'm closing up."

"Hmm?"

"Closing." Oh yeah… His voice is slurring.

"Sorry. 'Night."

"You need a cab or something?"

"No…" You might before long. "Just had the one."

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Well, that's it. I hoped you like it. Or at least thought it wasn't horrible.

Please review and tell me what you think. I've never tried anything like that, not really.

Thanks for reading! Love ya!