Night time at the AFA. A time when only the chimerae and the unfortunate ones chased by them are used to being up. All of the students were, frankly, too tired to even think of staying up late. Except those being chased, of course.
But what happened there?
Two dark figures detached themselves from the shadows of the building, turned around the corner and clambered over the fence to the staff side of the complex. They consulted a simple, crudely-drawn map and walked on again. Counting windows, they positioned themselves under the seventh from the left. After a moment of discussion one of the figures left, only to return moments later with a very large and seemingly heavy package, although the two figures didn't have any troubles throwing it over the fence as if it weighed nothing. The other figure walked up to the building and took a deep breath.
"EDWARD! I LOVE YOU! PLEASE LET ME HAVE YOUR BABIES AND PLEASE RECEIVE THIS GIFT AS A TOKEN OF MY UNDYING LOVE!"
Silence again. A few words were exchanged. Then piano music was heard, followed after a short interlude by the singing of the obvious Ed devotee.
"Mayomitsumihi, something about love, chihihihihihehihute, lalalalalala, kizugushi mo, hugs and texts I can't remember. Futari wa Aru kissu zukeru, auto niwa motors and suzuki cars, ima demo could I always be with you? KESENAI TSUMI wa itamu kedo DARLING! Tadatadatadatadatadatadata!"
"SHUT UP!!! I'm trying to sleep!" a not-so-sleepy-anymore-voice shouted.
"Oh my god, that's Ed," the singer said excitedly to the person behind the piano. "Eddo, daisuki! Anata wa honto, honto, hontoni sugoi desu!" she continued to the man of her dreams.
"Where do they find these girls?" Fullmetal muttered and returned to his bed, firmly closing the window and curtains behind him, transmuting his wardrobe into a soundproof wall for good measure.
"No, don't go away, light of my life! I know other songs as well! Kimi nonono, kimi yesyesyes, tooi hi no kioku wo, can I shimmy your way? Icky no demo pomato curry yo! Saa ai ni kogareta mune wa tsuranuke!
Or perhaps: OH SOLE MIO, OH RAVIOLI, OH SOLE MIO, OH LINGUINE, OH SOOOOOOOOOOOOO, OH SOLE MIO, OH SOLE MIO, OH SOLE MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
No, wait, wait, how about this one: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when the skies are grey. You'll never know DEAR, how much I LOVE you. So please don't take my sunshine away!"
"Miss Adonis, I believe that beside the Fullmetal one, there are quite a few other staff members, including myself, who wish to return to sleep," the Fuhrer's voice boomed through the night air. The girls looked up to see his imposing figure in the window to the right of Ed's. He was Not Pleased. "And for future reference: make sure you actually know the words of the song. It might be a hard task for your hormone-driven brain, but it makes these serenading sessions a little less unbearable.
Oh, and Miss Actius? Please take that piano over to Hohenheim tomorrow morning. You are not allowed to keep things that fall out of plot holes. All clear?"
"Yes, Fuhrer King Bradley, Sir!" they chorused. Bradley blinked. Or at least his uncovered eye did.
Adonis and Actius scurried away, the latter considerably slowed by towing the piano behind her. Apparently the piano was returning to its normal weight after spending some time in a world where Newton's gravitational law was actually in effect.
Peace returned. Lessons started again the next day, as if nothing had happened. Chris was walking around on the ground floor, coming back from her visit to the library. There she had tried to work on her Math and Alchemy 101 homework. Thinking about that last really difficult problem with big echelon matrices made her almost walk into a few people. Luckily, she was able to evade them and continued walking. Until…
"Sir, I don't think that a very wise idea."
"Of course it is. It will be nice to make Fullmetal mad again. And besides, the paperwork is killing me."
'Fullmetal… paperwork… not a wise idea? ROY!' Chris thought.
"I really don't think you should go ahead with it," Hawkeye finished, but Roy had already walked back to the Staff Section. Sighing, she followed Mustang, not knowing that Chris was following her.
Sneaking behind them, Chris tried to get into the Staff Section, but Riza shut the door after her. Not wanting to be deprived of a daily dose of Roy-yummyness, Chris put her ear to the door and tried to make out his voice.
First, she only heard minis scurrying around, scraping their nails on the door. She then picked out a few distant screams, making her stiffen against the door. 'Wha- what the hell was that?' Chris, fighting the instinct to run away really fast, listened to the sounds on the other side of the door again. The stamping there made her jump.
"What do you want, Colonel?" Chris heard Edward say, the voice dripping with sarcasm.
"I wanted to congratulate you," Roy answered, making Chris almost literally melt.
"Congratulate me on what…?" the formerly sarcastic voice asked warily.
"Well, Fullmetal, I received some news. Finally you can look down on us."
Chris could almost hear the veins on Edward's head pulsing with anger. She made out hollow sounding shushes, probably Al trying to calm Ed down.
"Yes?" Edward asked through gritted teeth.
"The fangirls must think you're really above us all if they honour you with the first serenade of the season. So, congratulations!"
A grunt, a scream, crashing furniture and footsteps. For the next few minutes, not much speech was heard other than some carefully selected expletives directed at Roy. Chris sighed at the idea of her man being able to hold off Ed with a mere flick of the wrist (and glove). As she once again placed her ear to the door, she thought she could make out a whistling noise over the din. It grew louder and louder, as if something was flying her way at very high spe-
An inch before her eyes a large wrench-shaped hole had appeared in the door, the offending instrument lying on the stone floor a few meters away. Carefully listening for other projectiles and very grateful that she hadn't positioned herself a bit more to the left, Chris inched towards the hole for the First Glimpse of the Staff Section. She wished she had a camera to capture this spectacle. Frozen in mid-punch, Roy and Ed were staring at a pissed-looking Winry and looked as if they would faint at any moment. Apparently Chris' head hadn't been the only one missed by an inch. The other occupants of the Staff Section decided that it was once again safe and came out of various hiding places, including a big grandfather's clock in the corner.
"Sir, I already said this was not a very wise idea," said an exasperated Riza.
"Ed, be more careful with your auto mail! I have enough to do with all these students around and if I have to repair you within the first week, I'll find more creative ways to use my tools on you! Remember that story with the Colonel, the train, and my wrench?" Winry finished lowering the volume of her voice.
Edward sucked in his breath. When Chris heard the comment Miss Cathy gave ("Roy, you might want to stop chuckling. As I recall, nasty things happened to you as well") as she climbed off the filing cabinet she'd fled onto for safety, Chris could only imagine how the situation could escalate if Ed only had the chance to get the argument started again.
"Now that that's sorted, I have an announcement to make," said Miss Cathy. "The Headmaster has decided—after much thought and deliberation—that under these special circumstances—"
"Get on with it!" Aricos-sama commented, as she tumbled out of the big pot housing her favourite Venus fly trap, idly brushing earth and various unidentifiable bones off her shoulders.
"As I was saying," Miss Cathy continued, "Ed, you are allowed to come up with a suitable punishment and discipline them accordingly. Or not accordingly. Whatever you decide. Basically, you're free to do whatever you want. Try not to kill them, though. It was only their first big offence."
Seeing Ed turning towards her, Chris quickly tried to get out of the entrance to the Staff Section, before anyone would spot her. Leaning on the banister of the big staircase, slightly panting, she saw Edward pass through the Hall. He was walking in an excited trot towards the part of the AFA that was still under construction.
"Elric, remember, once you're downstairs, two left, one right and straight through to the dungeons. They're waiting for you in the fifth cell!" Aricos-sama called out after him.
Logic tried to kick in in Chris' oxygen deprived brain to point out that this would mean that there were at least five cells located beneath the AFA. Logic kicked and kicked and kicked, but Chris was too busy ogling Roy, who was ceremonially seeing Edward off.
"Good luck!" the three voices of armour!Alphonse, normal!Alphonse and Munich!Alphonse shouted.
After the question "Miss Jameson, don't you have somewhere you should be?" finally reached the sane part of her brain, Chris ran up the stairs to her room, thinking how rather fortunate she was that she wasn't spotted near the Staff Section and waiting for more news about the two poor, poor students.
The two students were not present in class the following day. Only after lunch did they mysteriously reappeared in the military infirmary. Thrashing around in their beds, Actius merely whimpered and there were too few sounds for Adonis to express how she felt. Judging by their behaviour, it must have been truly disturbing and horrible. Nobody ever actually found out what occurred in those moments with Edward…
For the disclaimer see chapter 1. Enrolments are still open.
Right. There really isn't much to say except give an apology. We're very sorry for the delayed update. It might take a while, but this story WILL be completed.
Thank you for sticking with us.
Love, the AFA Staff.