What The-

Disclaimer: I do not own D.N.Angel or its characters.

A/N: Yes! Finally! This story has come to life! (laughs evilly) Ghetto Krad shall rap and Risa shall like ducks! All is right with the world. Anyway, hope you enjoy the insane times.

PART ONE: It Begins…

"It's a duck. A little yellow rubber duck." Huge eyes stare at the toy. "Yes, it is." Really, Riku could not understand Risa's sudden obsession for ducks. "I must have it!" Risa screamed and ran into the store.

A few minutes later she came out, holding the rubber duck. "Risa, what the hell are you going to do with a rubber duck?" "Form an army and kidnap Dark." Risa ran off to finish her plan. Riku watched as her sister ran away. "What the hell?"

Satoshi sat down, watching chaos take over the class. "Bow down to my chipmunks!" Risa cries while throwing acorns at her classmates. "You have no chipmunks. Stop please!" Ritsuko's pleas were drown out by Takeshi's singing.

"Once upon a time. Not so long ago. Tommy used to work on the docks. Union's been on strike. He's down on his luck…it's tough, so tough. Gina works the diner all day. Working for her man, she brings home her pay. For love- for love."

Oh no! I'm running late, Riku thought as she raced through the halls. At one point she could have sworn she saw mushroom people dancing. "I must be-holy shit!" Riku opened the door to find her class in total chaos.

"Risa! What are you doing?" By this time Risa unleashed a cage full of wild ducks and many classmates ran for the nearest exit…The doorway! "NOOOO!" All Riku saw were shoes and legs.

"Daisuke, you must help me." Riku said during lunch. Usually she sat with Risa and Ritsuko. "We must fine out what's-whoa nelly!" Riku screamed in surprise at the sight before her. What happen next could not be put into words other than, "What the?"

"Sorry Riku, but you can't tell." "Why handcuffs?" "Satoshi's a police commander."

Riku laid on the ground. Her wrists tied by the handcuffs as the four boys stared down at her. All would seem fairly normal if Daisuke wasn't wearing a playboy bunny costume. "Am I the only sane one?" Riku asked as a ping-pong ball hit Dark on the face.

"Got him!" "Way to go Risa!" Soon the group was trampled by ducks, Risa, fan girls, and acorns. "My god! My virgin eyes!" Daisuke screamed then fainted.

Satoshi, Daisuke, Krad, and Riku sat in the library. After the kidnapping of Dark no one knew what to do. "Mind taking the handcuffs off me?" Riku asked, being the first to break the silence.

Finally being released from the chains of doom; Riku grabbed the sword of randomness and proclaimed herself Queen of England! "What the hell?" Ok, sorry that never happened. "Thank you." Instead…

"No, I like you in handcuffs." Satoshi said with a smirk. "You pervert!" Riku screamed, not knowing why everyone was so out of character. "Cause word on the streets is a strange mofo is insanizzle!" Krad finally spoke out. "Foshow white chick."

A thud was heard and once again the boys stared down at her. "This isn't her day." Daisuke said while still wearing his costume. "Why are you wearing that?" Satoshi asked trying to control himself. "Cause I'm feeling sexy!" Daisuke sang in a high voice then struck a pose. "HELL YES!" Satoshi pounced onto Daisuke. "Whoa, that's some shitnits!"

"Risa, why are you doing this?" Dark asked in a calm voice. "I love you Dark! We must always be together!" Risa said while walking slowly towards her prey…her love…her life. (A/N: Whoa…creepy…) "Risa, let me go!" "Hush dear. My evil sister and her friends will never come between us again. Not when I hold the key." Risa was indeed holding a key.

"What?" Dark stared in confusion. "This key is the Key of Insanity. I am able to change others by using it. I have the power!" Dark watched in amazement as Risa attempted to laugh evilly. "Mawahahahaha…hehe..haha…oh forget it!"

A/N: Tell me what you think by reviewing. More to come soon... Oh and before I forget, any idea for a better title? I don't mind this one, but I'm wondering if something else would sound better.