Mis-Adventures in Labyrinth Land
By Aviarianna O' Lorien
Disclaimer: I own nothing of the multiple movies and books and products you will surely recognize in this fiction. Got it? I own NOTHING accept for Avi and Fe-Kay. (although on technicality, he owns himself…. uh yeah…. shutting up now!)
Chapter 1: She Has Arrived!
Or more specifically, the Castle Beyond The Goblin City where King Jareth sleeps soundly. In all truthful fact, a war could have been raging in his very bedchambers and the man would still not raise a single delicate (snorts) eyebrow. Of course, that would only make this that much easier.
There is a huge grin plastered on the pale face of a figure clad all in black. A female figure with long auburn hair flowing out from underneath a black beanie adorned with all manner of pins, including but not limited too: HIM, Viva La Bam, Demented Happy Bunnies, and a Heartagram patch to finish it all off. There was an evil glint in her burnt-orange eyes and her excessively long, sharp canines made her grin look rather feral. Such eyes and teeth flashed for only a second in the silvery light of the Fae realms crystalline moon as she disappeared from the courtyard in a flash of sapphire blue with a brightness to rival even that moon.
Jareth never knew she'd been there, but he would…
((((((((((((((((((((Morning in the Goblin Kingdom))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
"AAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" The extremely enraged shriek of the Goblin King was heard throughout the Goblin Kingdom and beyond that morning.
A flash of crimson light nearly blinded Jareth for a full minute. And suddenly, there stood Avi. There stood Avi in all her dark blue flared jean, purple with bright green palm tree's flip flopped, blue tank topped, pin and patch covered beanie, long haired glory. Or it would have been glory had she not lost what little footing she had the moment she'd appeared and fallen directly onto her arse. Ah well, she paid it no mind and stood up to survey the damage that had gotten Jareth screaming like a toddler.
"You called Jar-O.o…" As quickly as he possibly could, she clenched her eyes shut and turned her back towards him. "GOOD GOD'S MAN! COVER YOURSELF!"
Jareth looked down at himself and gave a nervous chuckle. (It's not that dear little Avi hadn't seen such a thing before. Oh no, she was far from innocent! But one day she walked in on a sleeping Jareth. A butt-naked, sleeping on top of the covers, Jareth. She ran from the room screaming her lungs out.)
O.O "Heh. Right…"He quickly pulled the sides of his blue/silver silk robe closed, tying the sash tight enough to more than likely cut off the circulation.
"Are you decent yet Jareth?" Avi asked with a hint of indignance and a heap of disgust.
"Yes, dear little kitten." He answered and so Avi turned to face him once again.
There was a smile on her face and childishness to her eyes. She was attempting to look as innocent as the short version of her name implied. But she was also trying to make the attempt as subtle as possible. She frowned finally, her furry black tail swishing in (acted on her part) confusion as she survey the entirety of his room.
"AI! Jar-bear, it looks as though a tornado hit his place!" She looked around for another moment before adding "A rather colorful, mortal loving tornado." She observed this quite brilliantly. (Even if she was the one who had done it…) She tried her very hardest not to laugh, and still look oh so subtly innocent in the destroyed room.
The Damage Report: All around the room were little heaps of mortal clothing. Jeans, T-Shirts, Button-Ups, Tanks, Slacks, Cargo's, Hoodies, Jackets, Addida's, Converses and even a nice pair of shiny leather Dress Shoes. (Those seemed to have been placed delicately on the desk. Everything was also exactly Jareth's size. And how Avi knew his size is something no one should ever want to know.) Of course, there were still tights and poet shirts littered about the room, sparsely, but there all the same. These however, were all now colored Tye-Dye style in neon pink and purple. The lone pair of HIS boots were completely lavender and sitting haphazardly in the middle of the bed, seeming to drown in the dark blue sheets that resembled a frozen in time whirlpool.
The slightly adolescent half-breed burst out laughing, no longer able to hold it all in at the sight of the room and all it's…contents.
Jareth however, was NOT amused.
"Aviarianna O' Lorien…" He began in a voice calm and quiet. A voice edged with a deadly undertone.
"Yes, Jar-bear?" She asked, turning her huge, innocent, eyes towards him. (It takes skill for once such as her to make orange, cat-like, eyes look innocent.) She was failing miserably at keeping the grin off her face though, and making that smile look innocent just was not going to happen.
Once more Jareth was clad in his favorite outfit. (Albeit was tinted neon purple with hot pink swirls and his pants matched his lavender boots perfectly.) He smirked evilly at the shorter girl, who's eye's had now widened considerably. (Any wider and her eyes would have fallen right out of her skull!) Jareth's eyes were taking on a slightly darker, redder hue.
This time, she winced.
"Run." Was the only word to escape his mouth in a dark, deadly voice.
"Shit!" She ran from the room as fast as her legs could take her with the Goblin King following hot on her trail.
"Avi! You will pay dearly this time!" Rang out throughout the entirety of the Goblin Kingdom.
"I'M SOOOORRRRRYYYYYY!" Was the terrified shriek that answered it.
(((((((((((((((((((((((Three Hours Later))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
"Okay…this garden is as good a place as any to hide, and rest." Avi muttered to herself, climbing up into a low but large branch of a weeping willow. Jareth's castle had many beautiful gardens all around it, all of which were inside the walls that separated the castle from the city. She'd been dodging Jareth for the past few hours and was beginning to get tired. (Consider she'd been up half the night at least 'working' on Jareth's room.)
Damn that guy could be scary!
She lounged on the branch and took a bite of the apple she'd swiped from the kitchens. Never would she ever take any fruit from anywhere other than the kitchens, never. Fact of the matter was that Jareth had mixed orchards around the castle, half the trees had his 'special' fruits, the rest had normal and you could never tell which was which. But the normal fruits always ended up in the kitchens, so it was a safe bet.
"Hi Avi!" Came the familiar, very loud, and very unexpected voice from the branch above hers.
This loud, and surprising intrusion upon Avi's snack/nap time caused the girl to nearly fall out of the tree. She caught herself though, thus she was now hanging upside down on the branch, clinging very tightly to the organic limb by her legs. She opened her eyes, seeing as she hadn't felt the ground and her body met yet, and met a bright, sky blue pair of eyes.
"LEGGO!" She squealed, swinging herself back up to the tree branch, which the newcomer had leapt gracefully down to.
"Stop calling me that!" The blonde elf scrunched up his face in mock disgust at the childish nickname.
"You don't like it?" Avi sniffled; already putting on the perfectly mastered, irresistible, utterly cute, kitten pout.
"Oh no, no no no no no!" Legolas put up his hands in defense, trying to block the sad cuteness. "NOT the pout!"
She continued to pout, unrelenting in the cuteness.
"All right! You can keep calling me Leggo!" He sighed. Five minutes and he'd caved; it was a new record for him. (As in last time he'd held it together for 10 minutes.)
"YAY!" The Hanyou squealed once more and pounced on the elf in a tackle/hug/thing.
Leggo yelped. He then got over the shock of being tackled in a hug, yet again, and hugged one of his best friends back just as tightly. Until, that is, a 'SMACK' filled the garden.
"Keep your hands, off my arse if you wish to EVER bear children." Avi growled, forcefully removing HIS hands from HER butt. She smiled sweetly again and dropped to the grass covered ground below, next to the dirt path.
(Now many readers may be wondering…WTF? What is Legolas doing here? How does this odd girl know him? And so on and so forth. Okay…Avi is a Hanyou, it means half-demon. Now in that aspect, she's a mutt. Now…the other half of her is elf, as in Lorien, as in Rivendell, that kind of elf. She was dropped into Makai as an infant and so adapted full to survive there. But her real family is in Rivendell. She once got back home where she found the family, even got married, but he died, horribly and she left. Legolas was one of her best friends. He is also the only person she'd ever known able to look up someone's skirt from underneath a stone balcony. Yes, he is a perverted elf and even set his tutor's breeches on fire once. They know each other very well. This little fight over the nickname is something that happens weekly with them. Apparently, Avi is winning the rounds hands down. The faster he caves, the more she scores. It's really rather complicated, these two's, and her past but eh…you'll find out more about it later, really. Jareth helped her to Middle Earth the first time, and she'd always come visit, no matter what. Yes, before that she'd lived in our world, and hated it. Again, complicated. And now…back to the story!)
"Hey! Want to hear about my newest prank plans?" Avi asked eagerly. She was always ready to describe her newest evil plan.
"Sure!" Leggo replied, matching her excitement. Until a flash of platinum hair caught his eye's. "Uh, Avi?"
"No now! Anyways, you know how Jareth feels about Care Bears right?"
"But nothing. Well, I conjured up this huge pink one with a big rainbow on its tummy. It's adorable!"
"That's great Avi, but really-"
"Shush! Any-hewsies, the plan is-ACK!" The youth (Well, technically she was a youth.) yelped as Jareth grabbed her tightly and poofed them both off in a burst of glittery, silver spark like things.
"I tried to warn her." Legolas muttered in amusement and, with a shrug, lay back on the branch for a nice nap. Such peace and quiet would be hard to come by soon enough.
((((((((When Jareth and Avi appear again.))))))))))))
When Jareth and his captive re-poofed into existence, they were floating something close to 40 feet above the B.O.E.S. and every single being in existence knows that such a predicament never has a very good outcome.
"Meep!" Avi squeaked as she now tightened HER hold on Jareth, not wanting to fall into the disgusting, sludge-worthy contents of the Bog. Then she noticed the new bridge Jareth had FINALLY put in.
A wooden bridge.
A wooden bridge in a damp, humid, misty, slightly corrosive stench filled, bog.
"WOOD!" She screamed in exasperation. Who puts a wooden bridge in a bog like Jareth's?
This frustrated screech caught the Fae holding her completely off guard. It startled him, and so badly that he let go of her to cover his ears and lost his concentration. Thus, he plummeted 40 odd feet and Avi saved herself by forcing out white wings VERY quickly and catching an updraft. Jareth plunged into the disgusting contents of the bog while Avi hovered 10 feet above it, trying to regain her control over her breathing. Near bog experiences weren't very fun.
Avi watched the bog below her in breathless apprehension. Yes, she should probably be flying far, far away right now but common sense just wasn't with her today. In fact, it hadn't been with her for about 48 hours and counting. Now she watched with a grimace as the now soaked, stinky, and freshly enraged Fae emerged from the bog.
"OH MY GOD'S! She squealed loudly. (Again with the squealing, yes, she does this a lot.) "Jar-bear looks like a drowned rat!" Echoed quite happily throughout most of the Underground, followed by her giggling.
"Damnit Avi!" Was the equally loud, equally emotional reply.
The shouts jolted Legolas awake. He peered through the branches and towards the Labyrinth. "Uh-oh." Was all he managed to mutter as a white winged Avi zoomed past with a look of amused horror on her face. She was closely followed by a very wet, very angry Goblin King if is red face and scowl was anything to go by.
"What's going on?" Came a shout from one of the windows facing that particular garden. Apparently, the shouts had also disturbed the resident fire kitsune from his book-induced reverie.
"Avi's arrived, Fekay!" Legolas yelled back.
"Is that all." Fekay replied before chuckling and exiting the window seat to begin searching through the immense library again. He loved the libraries nearly as much as Avi did and so spent much time in them. Yes, Jareth has more than one.
Sometimes, he felt that Avi's little adventures here should be put into a book as well. After all, her stays always proved to be most…interesting.