Sakura's Pride

Happiness

"We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same."

Anne Frank

o0o

I was a spitfire not because he was smarter or stronger than me, but because I was being used. I had never felt so low in my life, dragged, battered, and dethroned from my place. I wanted to end it once and for all. We were two years apart. At the time, he did not need me as I did not need him. As true as all of it seemed he still came after me.

o0o

The library was quiet and empty when Sakura walked in half an hour late. She walked up to Syaoran's table and dropped books and papers down in front of him.

"About time, Sakura," he said, without looking up from his book.

Sakura stayed standing, glaring down at him, who was still oblivious as to her temperament. She cleared her throat. "It's done. I finished last night."

Syaoran said, "Okay, then we can spend the rest of the afternoon chatting."

"No."

Bewildered, Syaoran looked up at her.

She was looking out the window. "This is the last time, Li-sempai."

His brow furrowed as he tried to comprehend the meaning of the tone of her voice. "Good bye," she murmured.

Sakura quickly turned to leave, but Syaoran dropped his book and stood. "Wait, I thought we agreed that you would work for me until the end of the school year."

Sakura spun around to face him. "We did, but I have decided that I don't want to do this anymore."

"Fine, so what's the eerie 'good bye' for?"

Sakura looked at him fiercely. "When I say, 'I don't want to do this anymore' I also mean I don't want to see you anymore. Tomoeda is a big school. You don't have to see me much if I drop classes I'm in with you. All you have to do is avoid me in the halls."

Syaoran laughed heartily, not believing his ears. "What a joke! I would never agree to something like that. I have no reason to avoid you."

"I'm telling you what's going to happen after today, not asking whether or not you're willing to agree to it."

"Have you ever thought about what I want?" Syaoran asked teasingly.

"You always got what you want."

Syaoran shook his head in wonder. "You're serious? There has to be some logic behind this. What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing means everything to you. Please be straightforward for once." A flash of worry crossed his amber eyes.

"You think you know everything," she replied, staring grimly at him.

"What?"

Sakura became angry at his look of ignorance. "The only reason why you acted so nice around me when we're with company is because you want to show off to others your control over me. The only reason why you acted so courteous to my mother was because you thought that was the best opportunity to patronize me in front of someone I love and admire. The only reason you made me do your homework was because you're lazy. You gave me Sousa just to find out where I live, so that you can have access to a puppet 24/7. You said you liked me, but someone who says that and means it does not treat that special someone like trash!"

Syaoran was angry, too. "Alright. Then, I suppose I kiss people I play around with."

"The first time, you proved your point; you are a pervert! The second time you did it to provoke my brother."

He laughed bitterly. "You sound like you have it all figured out."

"I do and I have support, too," she mumbled, already prepared to get away and never look back.

Syaoran watched her flee right when he was about to say something else. He reacted quickly, the whole time keeping an eye on Sakura running out of the building and out onto the courtyard. Syaoran came out after her and caught up quickly. To stop her, though, Syaoran had to throw himself in the air and tackle her down. Sakura felt the impact and fell painfully face first. She got up groaning and spitting grass out. Still, she tried to crawl away on her elbows, but Syaoran grabbed her ankle.

"Are you still trying to get away!"

Sakura sat up with her back facing him.

"You are being unfair! I'll only let you go if you hear what I have to say."

Ignoring him, Sakura covered her face, "It hurts."

"I wouldn't have had to do that, if you weren't running so fast," he said softly.

He could hear her sniffles. Slowly, he shifted, so that he was close to her side. He gently removed her hands from her eyes and took out a handkerchief. He dabbed at her wet eyes, tenderly. He stopped and began to disclose the truth, similar to Sakura's address. "Ever since I saw you I tried to catch your attention, but you kept ignoring me. I didn't mean to take your solo away from you. On the spur of the moment, I only intended to get your attention by showing you how well I can play, too. I really respect you and only wanted to make a good first impression on your mother. You still didn't seem to like me, so I came up with my own 'challenge' for you. I got you to do my homework for me, so that we could be alone together more often. Only during those times, did you seem comfortable around me. I came over to your house to let you borrow Sousa, as an excuse to see you."

When he finished, he watched Sakura slowly turn around fully to face him. Her face was red from all the running and the falling and the crying.

"I kiss you because I want to and because I do like you."

The two of them sat there, staring at each other, beginning to understand. Each became one with the situation, one with life, one at mind. Though the most important theme of togetherness here would be that they had always been capable of being one at heart.

He held my hand and walked me to school and home, braving my brother whenever he faced him. In school, he shared his lunches with me and studied with me, on some rare occasions helping me with math. In the beginning, I had to get used to the angry, jealous glares of girls and the funny, curious looks of the boys every where I turned. I knew that eventually all the pointing, giggling, and hissing would end sometime soon. He changed everyone, not only me. Looking behind us and looking up ahead I discerned that he changed me the most no matter how things seemed around us.

Syaoran taught me something I would have never learned had I never met him. He taught me life is not about striving to be the best only. Being the best doesn't make you the happiest person in the world. It's easier to share success with someone and then properly be happy with that. Syaoran made me feel special by showing me my imperfections, so even if I have and still lost to him he supports me. No matter how inferior I feel he lets me know without using words that I'm his everything or as he puts it in my usage of a different, nonetheless equivalent phrase, 'I'm his nothing.' Now that he is a college man and I'm still this high school kid, his rare visits and subtle presence is a reminder of what I still don't know.

The Retelling Ends

Finished alas! I always wanted to write a short piece like this. Didn't expect it to be this short, but I'm still happy about the ending. No doubt some of you are probably not that content, some of you are. Whether you are or are not, please leave a note stating why you do or why you don't. It's the only way I know if I did a good job or not. In any case, I hope everyone had a good read.

Joy, joy, joy,

: MistyWing :