thanks for the all your amazingly kind words! XOXO to you all!
Up in his loft, Clark heard the familiar clicking of heels, but tried to convince himself they didn't belong to who he thought. It wasn't until they reached the landing of the loft that he looked up from his spot on the couch, hardly believing his guess was right.
"Lana…" He swallowed and looked down at his hands. "Look, I – "
"I really liked listening to your poem in Mr. Stein's class today," Lana broke in, fumbling with a piece of folded paper in her hands. "It never seemed like that was your thing."
Clark shrugged. "It's not. I was…inspired I guess. I had to get some things out."
Their eyes connected. He watched her closely, trying to decipher if she really did remember Sogni Dromen - if she really remembered hearing his secret – but it was impossible to tell. She didn't seem mad at least…
After a while, Lana pulled out of the strange staring contest and looked at her fingers still delicately holding the paper.
"I…um…I came over because…I figured since you told your true feelings in a poem, I should too…" She licked her lips and unfolded the note. "I didn't write it, but…but I hope it'll still get the right message across..."
At first, Clark tilted his head slightly, not sure what to make of her actions. Eventually he decided to just go along with it and sighed, giving her a smile.
She nodded and looked down at her paper. Then, she began to recite the poem she'd been practicing nervously on her way over.
"i carry your heart with me
(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it
(anywhere i go you go, my dear;
whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate
(for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world
beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart
(i carry it in my heart)"
Carefully, Lana folded the paper back up and tucked it into her jeans pocket. She took a deep breath before looking back up at Clark.
"e. e. cummings," he suddenly remarked.
She grinned. "He's always been one of my favorites."
"It's a beautiful poem."
Her smiled slowly faded and her legs began to move, advancing towards Clark.
"I meant every word of it, Clark. I never realized just how much I could care about someone…until we had our little adventure." She suddenly changed her course and stopped at the window of the loft, looking out the window as if in remembrance.
Clark stood suddenly. "So you remember?"
Turning back to face him, Lana spoke seriously. "I don't know how I'll ever forget."
He scrunched up his face, the feelings of guilt and pain falling back into his heart like a vicious rainstorm. He moved to her quickly.
"Lana, I'm sorry. I made you process too many things and once. I should've just been up front with you from the start, but - "
"Clark, stop, please."
Obediently, Clark halted in his steps when he noticed Lana's frightened stare looking at him.
"So all that stuff you said when you were hurt…all of it was true?"
He knew if he thought through this situation enough that he could get her to believe he was still a human. Just cover up a few loose ends and he'd be home free.
"Yes. It was."
"And…those scars? Are they still there?"
He bit his lip and looked down, slowly lifting up his shirt to reveal a perfectly sculpted chest. "I guess my body healed from them when we left that world. I kind of have this…super-healing ability..."
She swallowed deeply, almost as if she was nodding. It was hard to believe that she was in the presence of a superhuman…an alien from another planet…what was it? Krypton? It was all so unbelievable, yet when she looked through her past memories thoroughly enough, she realized how very understandable it was. There were so many reasons for her to hate him for what he did, but their were also many more reasons to spare him the pain. For years he put this whole burden on only the shoulders of his parents and himself. As she watched him standing in the loft like a little lost puppy, she couldn't help but come to the conclusion that he had suffered enough in his life. Her anger towards him didn't need to be added to the list.
Ever to slowly, Lana moved towards him, her right hand rising from her side as if in a trance.
He watched with confusion as she minimized the distance between them. He nervously pulled his shirt back down when felt his stomach bubbling inside with anticipation.
Finally, her hand gently brushed against his cheek. She pursed her lips, fighting with her nerves to stop shaking. It was undeniable how powerful the air felt at that moment.
Reflexively, Clark closed his eyes at her soft skin touching his. It was as if this one gesture meant that everything was ok. She was a human, he was an alien… yet they were touching each other like two normal love-struck teenagers would.
Still, Clark knew that Lana had not been told the whole story. He sighed and pulled his eyes open, trying to ignore the tingly feeling at the back of his neck.
"Lana, I haven't told you everything…I…" He looked down, holding back the tears getting ready to fall from his eyes. "I…I killed your parents. I came down in the meteor shower…and I killed them."
Lana frowned at him. "Clark, you couldn't possibly have - "
"Lana, I was in the meteor shower. If not me, who else!" Clark looked at her sternly, then let his head fall back downward.
Her mouth dropped in surprise, but she wasn't going to give up on him that easily. "No one was to blame for that. What happened with my parents…I miss them a lot, and I use to hate the meteor shower for taking them away, but…but there's nothing we can do to bring them back. Telling yourself it was your fault is only hurting you more, Clark. It wasn't you. It wasn't anyone."
Clark stared at her in amazement. She didn't hate him for that? Wow.
But unfortunately, he knew he still wasn't finished. His gaze fell back to the floorboards.
"But e-even if we ever truly got together…my enemies…they could find you…hurt you…do…horrible things…and I could never forgive myself if – "
Lana stopped him with her left hand, which she covered over his mouth. She then put a hand on each side of his pain-filled face and forced him to look back up at her. He looked like was about to cry and Lana realized that she almost felt the same way.
"Now I see…you grew up blaming everything that happened in Smallville on yourself. You spent years pining over things in life that you convinced yourself you could never have and that's why you pushed yourself away from me before." She gave him a sweet, sympathetic smile. "That's your weakness Clark. You believe that because you came here during a horrible tragedy that you are a tragedy yourself. You feel like if your getting something good in life that you should push it away because it's too good for something like you."
Clark could no longer help it and let a tear fall from his face.
"Well I'm here to tell you that you're wrong, Clark." She wiped his tear away, trying to keep her voice firm and convincing. "You're wrong about everything. It's time to abandon those wrong thoughts and find out your real purpose in life."
"I-I know…I know that now…" Clark whispered softly.
Lana suddenly moved her face closer to his, lowering her voice slightly.
"Quit regretting the past and dreading the future. You need to focus on this moment right now with me, Clark. Your life is happening now. You have to stand here now and decide."
He looked into her deep almond colored eyes with a whole new feeling. Honestly, he couldn't remember a choice in his life where he didn't consider how it might effect the rest of his life. He'd never only looked at the present. He'd never chosen a path solely for himself. It felt so much more fulfilling…so much more free. Like the chains were broken and the sky was clear. He felt as if he could fly.
"What do you want, Clark?" Lana asked softly.
"I - want…you," Clark admitted weakly, his eyes glistening with tears.
Lana smiled and pulled his face down to hers, letting her lips connect with his in a long-awaited, satisfying kiss. He attacked back at her lips almost instantly, causing Lana to giggle into his mouth. He pulled away for a moment to gaze upon her angelic beauty. A perfect Clark Kent grin shone on his face and he eagerly pulled her even closer to him, kissing her as though he'd never get to kiss her wonderful lips ever again.
It was then that the realization occurred to them both. A feeling swirling somewhere inside them that had never been awaken before. Something dark and unwelcoming in their souls was missing…and something new and exciting had replaced it. Except this something new let light shine brightly in even the most darkest of corners so they could finally see each other for who they really were. It seemed as though the more they stayed together to stronger their hearts fused together until it was one…pure and sweet.
And they knew this was it. This was what love was really meant to be like.
A few hours had passed. Clark had spent most of it explaining to Lana what Wakanda had told him, and of course filling in the blanks about his abilities. He was surprised to see that she didn't act scared when he demonstrated them to her. She was more intrigued and happy to know the truth than anything else.
The sun began to set and Lana was now draped over Clark on the loft couch. Her hands were resting on the middle of his chest, stacked on top of one another and propping up her chin as she watched him dreamily.
His eyes were closed, trying to make up for some of the sleep he'd lost the night before. His hands were warm and soothing on her back and a small innocent breeze played with the locks of messy hair on his face.
"I love you so much, Clark," Lana whispered a loud. She knew he probably couldn't hear it, but it was nice to admit it to the world after a year of denial.
A smile unexpectedly curled onto Clark's lips and opened his mouth to speak.
love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride,
so I love you because I know no other way than this:
where 'I' does not exist, nor 'you,'
So close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
So close that your eyes close and I fall asleep."
Lana lifted her head off her hands, staring at Clark in disbelief.
"You wrote me a poem and memorized the end of 'Sonnet 17' for me?"
"I found the poem in my English book in eighth grade. I memorized my favorite part and told myself that if I ever found someone I could truly spend my life with I would recite it to her. So yeah…I guess I did memorize it for you."
Clark quickly opened one eye and noticed Lana's expression. She seemed extremely impressed, yet somewhat confused.
"In a nutshell, that means I love you very much too, Lana."
A smile suddenly appeared on her face, which inevitably broke out into a fit of laughter. She wiggled up closer, giving him another kiss that tinkled his insides, then laid her head down on the spot just below his neck and felt his arms wrap more protectively around her.
She sighed deeply as she closed her eyes, never remembering feeling so at peace with herself.
Just before Clark and her fell into a tranquil sleep, she concluded simply, "And they all lived happily ever after."a.n. "i carry you in my heart" is by e. e. cummings and "Sonnet 17" is by Pablo Neruda. i only wish i could write stuff like that. lol