By animeninjaNIPPON

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Invader Zim. I have volume 2 of the DVDs, but that doesn't qualify. All of the chapter titles are Joy Division/New Order songs – I don't own them, either. Sorry if this is a little OOC – I'm not Jhonen Vasquez, I just play him on TV. (j/k)

"AHAHAHAHA!" came the maniacal laughter of the Irken Invader Zim. He held up a corked test tube filled with a pink-and-white swirly gas. "With this 'infatrodisiac,' the stupid humans will have their stupid Earth-feelings used AGAINST them, causing ZIM to destroy them!"

Gir popped up next to Zim to eye the tube. "OOOO, pretty colors!" He reached out a robotic hand to touch it.

"No, Gir!" Zim protested. "This is for the human Earthstinks – I, ZIM, will administer this 'infatrodisiac' to the filthy creatures, and they will fall in love with ME, and do WHATEVER I command!" He laughed again.

"Aww, how sweet," Gir cooed.

"I have studied these EARTH-MONKEYS for a long time," Zim continued, pacing over to his elevator. "All I have to do is put this on them – "he went up the elevator, followed by Gir – "and make sure I'M the first thing they see after the smoke clears, which will be EASY when I – "

"Not so fast, ZIM," came the voice of an intruder. Zim looked at the character in question – black trench coat, blue shirt with a gray smiley-face, the intent to foil Zim's evil plans – naturally, it had to be Dib.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Zim ordered, pointing to the front door.

"I won't let you use that love-potion-thingy on innocent humans," Dib announced, feeling somewhat stupid for saying something so corny.

"What do YOU care?" Zim snapped. "And it's not a 'love-potion-thingy.' It's ZIM'S 'infatrodisiac'!"

"Don't you mean 'aphrodisiac'?" Dib corrected.

"NOOO! It is my 'INFATRODISIAC,' foolish human, and don't forget it! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

As Zim gloated, Dib sprang for the test tube. "Give it up!" he yelled. They began a power struggle for the tube.

"Gir! Stop him!" Zim ordered.

Gir's sky blue eyes turned red and narrow. "Yes sir!" He jumped on top of both boys, releasing the cork in the tube.

"Huh?" Dib released the tube. The concoction turned to liquid and fell upon Gir's metal head…

"NOOOOOOO!" Zim wailed.


End of part one